Irritating Flatmate

My flatmate is doing my head in. She's one of those arty, airy fairy "aren't I so lovely" types which I can't stand because she is totally irresponsible and never cleans her dishes. There's literally a mountain of all her dirty dishes in the kitchen which have been there for a week, and now she's started taking MY stuff and leaving it dirty. I'm not a clean freak or anal about the dishes but it's one thing to leave them a day and another to leave them for a week. It's just so inconsiderate. Everyone else washes the dishes after themselves, and she just keeps taking the clean stuff and leaving it dirty. I keep as many of my dishes as possible in my room but that's annoying as well, since I don't have any space of them. I don't know what on earth she's waiting for?! She's not that busy. She has plenty of time to cook elaborate dishes, so why can't she wash up? I think maybe she's hoping one of us will get tired of the dishes and do them for her. She knows it's annoying me, since I'm not friendly to her anymore but she doesn't care. She's the kind of person who would cry if I said anything to her and give me a sob story about how she's so busy or something. I can see right through her. What can I do about this?

Reply 1

generalebriety

16

Anonymous

She has plenty of time to cook elaborate dishes, so why can't she wash up? I think maybe she's hoping one of us will get tired of the dishes and do them for her.

Does she do all the cooking? If so, and she genuinely does spend an hour or two in the kitchen every day, maybe it'd be nice of you to spend an hour or two washing up. If not, then I fully agree with you, and think the only way to deal with it is to confront her.

Reply 2

sophierw

1

Buy her lots of washing up liquid and tea towels and sponges for christmas. If she doesnt get the hint, you might at least get some good art work out of it.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

No, she doesn't cook for anyone else! I mean, she just cooks for herself! With my dishes. And leaves them sitting there. Jesus I wouldn't expect her to wash the dishes after cooking for me every night, but that's not the case at all! I don't get it - when I'm so busy I couldn't possibly wash the dishes, I eat out, so I don't MAKE any dishes to wash.

Reply 4

kam

10

Put her dirty dishes outside her door with a printout - "will break them next time :smile:

".

OR...just report her to the site office. She's obviously not being considerate of other tenants and is leaving the place in a mess, which is against any tenants agreement.

Reply 5

Zerforax

21

Personally i think inconsiderate people should be put in their place and i dont mind confrontation :p:

just tell her to stop being pathetic and wash up her dishes cos theyre getting in the way + unhygenic etc AND to keep her filthy hands off your stuff...
so yea a quiet word :p:

if that doesnt work, you get all the flatmates together to have a huge bitch at her...
tbh id rather have someone cry the lots of dirty dishes for over a week...
My flatmate was on the phone are silly hours (like 3am?) so one night i told him to get off the damn phone cos some of us actually go to lectures (he doesnt go often) and so far no phone convos :p:

though admittedly i havent been at uni for a few days...

Reply 6

sn0wflak3

Thow them all in the bin.. she's not using them anyway! ..then buy her paper plates!

Reply 7

CarpetMonster

I would leave an anonymous note on the dishes saying, 'can the owner of these dishes please clean them up as they are taking up space blah blah'.

Theres no need to get too upset about it just yet, perhaps she just doesn't know shes doing wrong. I find people normally react better to notes if there is some friction between the two.

Reply 8

minimo

15

AARGH! Just my situation a couple of days ago with guy next door :p:

He'd left a mess in the kitchen and I got FURIOUS coz I'm a neat freak. So ended up doing his dishes and cleaning the place. Taped a HORRID note to his door, really nasty :p:

. Bless him, he came over to apologise so profusely, I didn't have the heart to launch the veritable tirade I had planned. Now my kitchen doth glean. He sure as hell does not want to unleash the wrath of minimo.

Reply 9

Sazarina88

11

Agree with CarpetMonster, no need to get upset just yet. Leave a note. If you get no response, when she's in the kitchen at the same time and you're washing up, when you've finished ask her if you should leave the water in there for her to use. She might get the hint, if not then tell her straight that she needs to start cleaning her things.

Reply 10

Little Girl Red

1

We have this problem sometimes in my flat. It's best just to have a quiet word with her, something non threatening - "Jane, are these your dishes? Only there aren't really any left clean.... You couldn't do them, could you?"

You don't want to upset her, so make sure you just keep it light, like a passing comment. If she still doesn't do them, they ask her again, but point out that she is using your dishes too and that it wouldn't take long after each meal.
There's no point causing tension over something so easily resolved!

Reply 11

IndieGirl

3

Same problem, only I'm in the clean minority. Have to scrape a space on the worktop from all the crap my 3 male housemates have left. Every now and then I have a go or make a comment but it falls on deaf ears. I'm not going to be their mother, they'll have to do it themselves, and when they run out of stuff they'll have to wash up. I guard my (clean) things from them, they took to taking my cutlery, using it and leaving it out dirty. I left a note saying I'd stab them with what remained if they did it again...that seems to have been the most effective tactic so far!

Reply 12

edu

2

If there not washing up there own plates thats their buisness but when they use yours? Then you have the right to knock on the door and make them clean it, you dirtied it you clean it. Thats what I did to my flatmates last year. One of them kept using my plates and didnt clean them, first couple of times I was fine with it.. I just thought "hes in a rush." After that it was *knock knock* .. hey did you enjoy your meal? Good! So then you can clean my dishes with a smile on your face.

Reply 13

Eblis_O'_Shaughnessy

5

edu

If there not washing up there own plates thats their buisness

Except when they leave them festering on the sideboard or in the sink, when they're in everybody's way and being unhygienic in a communal food area.

Reply 14

edu

2

Yea I bought a black bin and if there were any dishes left festering id put them in there.

Reply 15

Anonymous #2

Yep, welcome to the wonder of flatmates. I've lived with lots of different sets of people over the past few years and there is always one who doesn't clean up after themself. Be thankful it isn't all of them. At least with one you can all gang up and pressure her into doing it.

In my current house we drew up a cleaning rota. 5 of us agreed to it no problem and the person who doesn't clean up after herself had a little hissy fit and said it was 'unfair'.

Irritating Flatmate

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