Should i leave my bf?

Reply 20

WokSz

17

Just tell him you're bored and talk to him. Talking is the key to a good relationship.

Reply 21

afire_insideme

6

if you have to ask an internet forum the answers probably yes. im my opinion your probably just more used to him now and the idea of change is scary.
of course you could tell him how yu feel and not us, might actually help.

Reply 22

*Claire*

1

Similar thing happened to me, I started liking this guy that I new was no good for me. Broke up with my bf cos I felt if I had feelings for someone else it didnt say much bout the relationship. Since then had lots of moments of doubt over could it have worked but now I'm glad I did it. Made more of my 1st year of uni & altho I do miss having him there, its more the security I miss. I do understand the point about if you are married not ditching someone after 2yrs but the fact is we aren't married! I see it as I need to have some fun & flirting now before I settle down or I'll regret it later. A lot of relationships aren't going to lead to marriage so you shouldn't feel guilty over breaking up because it isn't what you would do if you were married.

Reply 23

Phantom Phoenix

13

One of my friends was with a guy for two years (again!), she got engaged to him during that time and then started "looking around" because she felt that she'd settled down too early and - her words - wishes she'd had more time to "play the field". She ended up crawling all over my boyfriend for a period of several weeks, flirting with him, getting him to suck beer off her fingers while her fiance was watching...[shudder] I broke up with my boyfriend and the original couple are still together, but my friend is miserable and still wants to sleep around. I should probably say "ex-friend" as I (hopefully understandably) don't want to have anything to do with the slutty traitorous- [cough] sorry, where was I?

I was getting at a serious point - if you're starting to look at other guys with the desire to get off with them/sleep with them/whatever, then surely its only going to make you unhappy if you stay with your current boyfriend. I would be interested to hear from some people who have maintained a relationship for, say, five years, as I know many people who had a brief period apart and saw other people then got together again, or people who got bored and split up, but I don't know anyone who's made it for a longer period. Maybe if it's the right person then the attraction doesn't fade?

Reply 24

kitty_cat

i had the same ‘2year relationship’ with this guy a while back and ended up in the same situation. i cared for him but there was no love there. i did not find an attraction between us. the break up was a bit messy because i strayed. i do not regret us breaking up but i do regret cheating.. if you carry on the way you are then there may be a likely chance you will find someone you feel more attracted to and if that guy returns the same feelings this time would you be able to stay faithful to your boyfriend? if you genuinely feel trapped then i say you should walk away from it before anyone gets hurt. he will respect you a lot more for doing it this way.
i was lucky enough to still be friends with my ex and found that we were better as friends. i was single for a year and absolutely loved it. i didn't 'get with' anyone though, but just having the freedom was a nice change after more than two years. you will be scared at first because the hardest part is letting go. however, once you see that you can survive on your own, you will see how much opportunity there is out there for you. i'm currently in a relationship now and have been for 8months and i find that i've never been so close to anyone. you may think you can cope with things with your current boyfriend but you have nothing to go on. pehaps you have not even experienced the extreme of happiness yet, you have not experienced being with someone else to know. i'm not saying to let go of all your inhibitions and morals, but just don't be scared to let go. you will always land on your feet and will hopefully end up being for the best.

Good luck

Reply 25

fudge77

Tell him how you feel and then see where it goes.

Reply 26

username47781

20

I can't stress enough how important communication is.

Reply 27

zain88

1

*Claire*

Similar thing happened to me, I started liking this guy that I new was no good for me. Broke up with my bf cos I felt if I had feelings for someone else it didnt say much bout the relationship. Since then had lots of moments of doubt over could it have worked but now I'm glad I did it. Made more of my 1st year of uni & altho I do miss having him there, its more the security I miss. I do understand the point about if you are married not ditching someone after 2yrs but the fact is we aren't married! I see it as I need to have some fun & flirting now before I settle down or I'll regret it later. A lot of relationships aren't going to lead to marriage so you shouldn't feel guilty over breaking up because it isn't what you would do if you were married.

Some good points there!
But do you see yourself only being able to have fun and flirting outside a relationship? Can't you have fun and flirting in a relationship?

OP, if you do decide to break up with your bf, like Claire says, don't feel guilty about it. But you seem to have a perfectly good relationship apart from the attraction thing, so if it's just the one problem, give it a go at working on it, and if it doesn't work out, you will still have gained so much in these two years.
Communication seems like another problem you have. And if it doesn't work then perhaps after all it is an indicator of your r'ship not working any longer.
All the best! :smile:

Should i leave my bf?

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