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What should I do about this female friend?

I have a female friend who I also like more than a friend. But she is in a relationship and I have accepted that we can never be together. She doesn't have feelings for me anyway.

So that being said, I like being friends with her. We get on really well and I'm happy when I'm around her.

The only thing is, sometimes I feel like I am too nice to her, and treat her as if she is more than just a friend. I am always helping her whenever she asks and I am always available to her.

Sometimes I feel maybe she doesn't appreciate everything I do for her.
Also, I feel really attached to her and sometimes I feel I act a bit needy and clingy. I know that's not good but that's what I feel.

I've never had a girlfriend so maybe my closeness to this girl is because of that? I don't know.

I want to stay friends with her, but I am scared of pushing her away or distancing myself from her, because I like the closeness I have with this girl and I don't really want to do anything to ruin our friendship.

So I'm not sure how to proceed. I also get really upset easily with things regarding her. I care about her a lot.

Do you guys think that this is a result of my unrequited feelings towards her? I don't mean to do it but I can't help it sometimes.

I already know I care about her a lot more than she cares about me. Maybe she doesn't need to care that much? Maybe I am expecting too much?

What are your thoughts?

She's my oneitis :/

Lately I have been thinking about her all the time. And it just makes me really sad.


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Reply 1
You need help.

Honestly I'm not even joking.

You have been posting about this girl over and over again for months now, you always say the same thing and you always get the same advice, but you never take the advice.

Get a counsellor and get over her.

Edit: I've just checked you have made 34 threads about this girl over the past 5 months. That's not even close to healthy.
(edited 9 years ago)
Reply 2
Just stop talking to her for a week or two, resist the temptation.
Reply 3
Original post by keladry
You need help.

Honestly I'm not even joking.

You have been posting about this girl over and over again for months now, you always say the same thing and you always get the same advice, but you never take the advice.

Get a counsellor and get over her.

Edit: I've just checked you have made 34 threads about this girl over the past 5 months. That's not even close to healthy.


Wow, I thought you were joking for a minute there, but then I checked to see, and you're right:eek:




Basically, you either make a move, or just get some help, and by help I mean sit down and have a long think over what is going on in your life with this girl.
Reply 4
Original post by Phoenix.
Wow, I thought you were joking for a minute there, but then I checked to see, and you're right:eek:




Basically, you either make a move, or just get some help, and by help I mean sit down and have a long think over what is going on in your life with this girl.


From his previous threads it's very clear this girl has no romantic interest in him, it's help that he needs.
Speaking from someone who is the girl in this sort of relationship, you need to get over this. My best friend, after 6 YEARS, still loves me - it's getting to the point were I don't want to hang out with him, he's going on exactly like you and it's not a nice feeling. It's really not healthy and she's made it clear that she wants nothing romantic with you, please, for your own sake, move on or get help for it, you'll be missing out on a lot if you keep fixating over her :frown:

Edit: I started to see someone. The friend started being really mean and playing games.
Then he tried to be all like "I'm so sorry. No girl wills ever like me. I understand if you never want to talk to me"

We are not friends anymore.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by keladry
You need help.

Honestly I'm not even joking.

You have been posting about this girl over and over again for months now, you always say the same thing and you always get the same advice, but you never take the advice.

Get a counsellor and get over her.

Edit: I've just checked you have made 34 threads about this girl over the past 5 months. That's not even close to healthy.


:/

I really need help. I sound so pathetic wow. Not healthy at all. Could you give me some sort of constructive advice that I could use?

We finish for the summer next month and then I probably won't see her again until October. I think this might help?
Original post by Arkasia
Just stop talking to her for a week or two, resist the temptation.


I won't initiate anything. And if she messages me, then?
Reply 8
There's this thing called 'Moving On'. I suggest you do it.
Original post by Phoenix.
Wow, I thought you were joking for a minute there, but then I checked to see, and you're right:eek:




Basically, you either make a move, or just get some help, and by help I mean sit down and have a long think over what is going on in your life with this girl.


I will do this. I have no chance with her at all. Something inside me thinks I have a hope, one day. Very bad idea and thinking.

Really need to get a grip. I'm ruining my life because of this.

Do you have any words of advice?
Reply 10
Original post by believeteam22
I will do this. I have no chance with her at all. Something inside me thinks I have a hope, one day. Very bad idea and thinking.

Really need to get a grip. I'm ruining my life because of this.

Do you have any words of advice?

I get that you liked her and all but clearly she is in a stable relationship and is not interested. Either you really tell yourself this and move on whilst staying friends with her or just distance yourself from her for a while and give yourself space and time to move on.
Original post by LadyEcliptic
Speaking from someone who is the girl in this sort of relationship, you need to get over this. My best friend, after 6 YEARS, still loves me - it's getting to the point were I don't want to hang out with him, he's going on exactly like you and it's not a nice feeling. It's really not healthy and she's made it clear that she wants nothing romantic with you, please, for your own sake, move on or get help for it, you'll be missing out on a lot if you keep fixating over her :frown:


U can understand him though, right? Sometimes you feel strongly about someone, even though it's hopeless. I guess not everyone deals with it well. It's definitely not healthy.

"Move on" is such an easy thing to say, but very difficult to do. Especially as I see her all the time. Do you have any constructive advice I could really use it.
I checked your post history and it's actually unbelievable :hahaha:, pretty sure I commented on one of them months ago. Good luck!
Reply 13
Original post by believeteam22
:/

I really need help. I sound so pathetic wow. Not healthy at all. Could you give me some sort of constructive advice that I could use?

We finish for the summer next month and then I probably won't see her again until October. I think this might help?



My advice hasn't worked in the past. You need professional help.

Yes the summer may help. But only if you let it.
You keep asking for advice in response to people's posts but they've already given it to you. See a counsellor - it's clear you're struggling to et over her by yourself.
*get
Original post by believeteam22
x


There's a simple solution to all this and it does not involve professional help. You need to get out there and meet new women. IT IS AS SIMPLE AS THAT. The more women you meet, the more choices you'll realise you have, and the quicker you'll get over this girl.

And don't be a pushover, don't be that guy. Don't always help her. Don't always be available to her.
This is why you don't stay friends with a girl you love(that's unrequited). It's unhealthy. Get out of there, man. Find something else to distract you. Meet other girls etc. whatever it is, you just need to forget about this. Trust me, if you stay around you are gonna go crazy
mate, your lovesick and i think judging by your posts since your first one here - http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2935055 you might be actually unwell. If your not careful how you act on your daily life, you might do something to this girl that might get you sectioned.

Just leave it. When i know i cant get a girl because of they have a boyfriend or they see me as ****, I FORGET ABOUT IT and MOVE ON.
Original post by vaxorus
I get that you liked her and all but clearly she is in a stable relationship and is not interested. Either you really tell yourself this and move on whilst staying friends with her or just distance yourself from her for a while and give yourself space and time to move on.


I know. But I don't want to distance myself from her. I like her too much. Every time I try to distance myself, it doesn't last long, and I start to miss her and then I give in :/