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Online Dating - first meeting
I'm curious what peoples experiences are when they meet someone for the first time from dating sites.
Meeting friends from the internet is different, with potential relationships you need physical attraction and an emotional connection.
Have you had any problems like 1) they looked different to their pictures 2) one of you was under impressed with the other 3) you had a connection in texts but not in person etc
And guys, if you did meet up with someone and you were underwhelmed by their appearance, what would/did you do?
Posted from TSR Mobile
Meeting friends from the internet is different, with potential relationships you need physical attraction and an emotional connection.
Have you had any problems like 1) they looked different to their pictures 2) one of you was under impressed with the other 3) you had a connection in texts but not in person etc
And guys, if you did meet up with someone and you were underwhelmed by their appearance, what would/did you do?
Posted from TSR Mobile
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I haven't met anyone through online dating but my sister met some guy on tinder and went to dinner with him. Apparently the date was quite awkward and he was quite 'touchy' and tried to hold hands whereas she just wanted to get to know him more. I think he wasn't really the kind of person she expected to meet.
Met a few people for dates and hookups.
The majority were disappointing. I've found that if I have a connection with someone online, at least the initial meeting will go well. It's harder to sustain a relationship, however, than to get through an initial first meeting.
The majority were disappointing. I've found that if I have a connection with someone online, at least the initial meeting will go well. It's harder to sustain a relationship, however, than to get through an initial first meeting.
Original post by snowystarks
I'm curious what peoples experiences are when they meet someone for the first time from dating sites.
Meeting friends from the internet is different, with potential relationships you need physical attraction and an emotional connection.
Have you had any problems like 1) they looked different to their pictures 2) one of you was under impressed with the other 3) you had a connection in texts but not in person etc
And guys, if you did meet up with someone and you were underwhelmed by their appearance, what would/did you do?
Posted from TSR Mobile
Meeting friends from the internet is different, with potential relationships you need physical attraction and an emotional connection.
Have you had any problems like 1) they looked different to their pictures 2) one of you was under impressed with the other 3) you had a connection in texts but not in person etc
And guys, if you did meet up with someone and you were underwhelmed by their appearance, what would/did you do?
Posted from TSR Mobile
I went on a date with a guy and he looked a bit different to his pictures. It wasn't anything major though (I did kind freak out at first to be honest). I know what I'm like though, so I gave it another go and went on another date with him.
There was a connection from when we started talking online. Whenever other guys spoke to me the conversations never interested me but with guy it was different.
It was the same via text and on the phone we just clicked. When we first met I was really nervous and I acted like a weirdo. I definitely felt the connection in person on the second date when I was more relaxed.
Are you planning on meeting up with someone?
(edited 9 years ago)
I've met quite 13 women through POF and OKCupid. Out of that came a short relationship, two mini-relationships, and two one night stands, a two night stand, along with some pointless dates and lots of flakes/two stand ups. All the relationships or relationshipettes ended suddenly or badly.
Most people have been more attractive in the flesh than in pictures. Pictures don't convey the way someone moves or laughs or whatever. It can be the non pixely things that make the difference between attractiveness or repulsiveness. There was one girl though who only had head shots and an 'undisclosed' body type. She turned out to be really fat and man shaped. Luckily(?) she just asked for more dates and then flaked continuously. Total nutter actually.
Because with her there was endless talking (like 2000 texts/messages) which lead to nothing, I therafter always set up a date within a few messages. Just establish you have some things in common, that you're attracted to each other's pictures and meet. Then again, there were women who I could see I had no attraction to in pics but had things in common with, or the reverse so met anyway. Doomed from the start really. I've found plucking people from the internet when you otherwise wouldn't have met tends to lead to doom really.
As for the women I found myself unattracted to upon meeting, I simply continued the date, got drunk enough to improve their appearance and tried to sleep with them anyway. I was going to be spending good money on drink, so I may as well get my money's worth.
Also: Most guys like about their height. So you may be meeting a midget.
Most people have been more attractive in the flesh than in pictures. Pictures don't convey the way someone moves or laughs or whatever. It can be the non pixely things that make the difference between attractiveness or repulsiveness. There was one girl though who only had head shots and an 'undisclosed' body type. She turned out to be really fat and man shaped. Luckily(?) she just asked for more dates and then flaked continuously. Total nutter actually.
Because with her there was endless talking (like 2000 texts/messages) which lead to nothing, I therafter always set up a date within a few messages. Just establish you have some things in common, that you're attracted to each other's pictures and meet. Then again, there were women who I could see I had no attraction to in pics but had things in common with, or the reverse so met anyway. Doomed from the start really. I've found plucking people from the internet when you otherwise wouldn't have met tends to lead to doom really.
As for the women I found myself unattracted to upon meeting, I simply continued the date, got drunk enough to improve their appearance and tried to sleep with them anyway. I was going to be spending good money on drink, so I may as well get my money's worth.
Also: Most guys like about their height. So you may be meeting a midget.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by phunky_fresh
I went on a date with a guy and he looked a bit different to his pictures. It wasn't anything major though (I did kind freak out at first to be honest). I know what I'm like though, so I gave it another go and went on another date with him.
There was a connection from when we started talking online. Whenever other guys spoke to me the conversations never interested me but with guy it was different.
It was the same via text and on the phone we just clicked. When we first met I was really nervous and I acted like a weirdo. I definitely felt the connection in person on the second date when I was more relaxed.
Are you planning on meeting up with someone?
There was a connection from when we started talking online. Whenever other guys spoke to me the conversations never interested me but with guy it was different.
It was the same via text and on the phone we just clicked. When we first met I was really nervous and I acted like a weirdo. I definitely felt the connection in person on the second date when I was more relaxed.
Are you planning on meeting up with someone?
Thanks for the reply
I've been talking to a guy for a few days but I don't know if there's a connection, I can't tell. But he seems nice and there's always been something to say/reply to in his messages.
I'm scared that he's going to ask to meet up, because I'm sure he's out of my league and the pictures of me are far away or with bright lighting. So as well as the whole date (sitting opposite someone 1:1 sounds awkward and I'd be so nervous) I don't want him to walk in, see me, and think 'oh great.. :/'
Plus I'm very shy and awkward in person and he doesn't know that either.
So yeah I don't know why I made an account if I'm scared of meeting up with people. I didn't think I'd end up talking to someone who was out of my league.
Posted from TSR Mobile
(edited 9 years ago)
In my limited experience it usually a tricky encounter, with one side or the other obviously a bit disappointed. I have found girls pretty calculating in this situation too. I'm sure it can work out and clearly a period of communicating beforehand helps. But all in all I have found this type of dating pretty angsty and unrewarding. Give me the pub and some flirting opportunities any day. But good luck, I think it probably is a bit better for women and I think everyone should give it a try.
Original post by 4Skin
I've met quite 13 women through POF and OKCupid. Out of that came a short relationship, two mini-relationships, and two one night stands, a two night stand, along with some pointless dates and lots of flakes/two stand ups. All the relationships or relationshipettes ended suddenly or badly.
Most people have been more attractive in the flesh than in pictures. Pictures don't convey the way someone moves or laughs or whatever. It can be the non pixely things that make the difference between attractiveness or repulsiveness. There was one girl though who only had head shots and an 'undisclosed' body type. She turned out to be really fat and man shaped. Luckily(?) she just asked for more dates and then flaked continuously. Total nutter actually.
Because with her there was endless talking (like 2000 texts/messages) which lead to nothing, I therafter always set up a date within a few messages. Just establish you have some things in common, that you're attracted to each other's pictures and meet. Then again, there were women who I could see I had no attraction to in pics but had things in common with, or the reverse so met anyway. Doomed from the start really. I've found plucking people from the internet when you otherwise wouldn't have met tends to lead to doom really.
As for the women I found myself unattracted to upon meeting, I simply continued the date, got drunk enough to improve their appearance and tried to sleep with them anyway. I was going to be spending good money on drink, so I may as well get my money's worth.
Also: Most guys like about their height. So you may be meeting a midget.
Most people have been more attractive in the flesh than in pictures. Pictures don't convey the way someone moves or laughs or whatever. It can be the non pixely things that make the difference between attractiveness or repulsiveness. There was one girl though who only had head shots and an 'undisclosed' body type. She turned out to be really fat and man shaped. Luckily(?) she just asked for more dates and then flaked continuously. Total nutter actually.
Because with her there was endless talking (like 2000 texts/messages) which lead to nothing, I therafter always set up a date within a few messages. Just establish you have some things in common, that you're attracted to each other's pictures and meet. Then again, there were women who I could see I had no attraction to in pics but had things in common with, or the reverse so met anyway. Doomed from the start really. I've found plucking people from the internet when you otherwise wouldn't have met tends to lead to doom really.
As for the women I found myself unattracted to upon meeting, I simply continued the date, got drunk enough to improve their appearance and tried to sleep with them anyway. I was going to be spending good money on drink, so I may as well get my money's worth.
Also: Most guys like about their height. So you may be meeting a midget.
An excellent analysis of why Internet dating is resoundingly ****..
Original post by Zarek
An excellent analysis of why Internet dating is resoundingly ****..
Is there a way to clear all the awkwardness on a first meeting then? Or a way to make sure you know what the other looks like?
Posted from TSR Mobile
I'm really skeptical about it. Haven't tried it and probably won't. I might try tinder for fun(I heard some people laugh a lot over it) but I can't trust an online person enough to consider a relationship with them. But then again I'm extremely naive and foolish so I might get burnt one day. Will only teach me a lesson I guess.
Original post by carasezmoo
Maybe you could skype them or get them to send you a couple more pictures?
I found that asking a lot of questions helps clear the awkwardness. Not too many though, or it will sound like a job interview. You could also go somewhere that provokes conversation like a zoo or somewhere quirky.
I met a guy off POF once and had a two year relationship with him. It's not all bad!
Posted from TSR Mobile
I found that asking a lot of questions helps clear the awkwardness. Not too many though, or it will sound like a job interview. You could also go somewhere that provokes conversation like a zoo or somewhere quirky.
I met a guy off POF once and had a two year relationship with him. It's not all bad!
Posted from TSR Mobile
Nice, I'm glad it went well for you!
I don't know why but I find the idea of Skype more intimidating than real life.
I want to say 'look, you might think I'm really unattractive when we meet so I don't want you to have any expectations. Plus I'm shy and will probably be awkward too' - but there is no chance of phrasing that well!
Posted from TSR Mobile
My mum arranged to meet someone through online dating. His pictures looked 10 years younger than he was
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by r-t
My mum arranged to meet someone through online dating. His pictures looked 10 years younger than he was
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by snowystarks
I'm curious what peoples experiences are when they meet someone for the first time from dating sites.
Meeting friends from the internet is different, with potential relationships you need physical attraction and an emotional connection.
Have you had any problems like 1) they looked different to their pictures 2) one of you was under impressed with the other 3) you had a connection in texts but not in person etc
And guys, if you did meet up with someone and you were underwhelmed by their appearance, what would/did you do?
Posted from TSR Mobile
Meeting friends from the internet is different, with potential relationships you need physical attraction and an emotional connection.
Have you had any problems like 1) they looked different to their pictures 2) one of you was under impressed with the other 3) you had a connection in texts but not in person etc
And guys, if you did meet up with someone and you were underwhelmed by their appearance, what would/did you do?
Posted from TSR Mobile
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by snowystarks
Is there a way to clear all the awkwardness on a first meeting then? Or a way to make sure you know what the other looks like?
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Skype call first? The trouble is internet dating has all the appeal of a job interview!
I met one and he didn't look as good as his pictures (which was a bit disappointment considering you expect people to look better irl than in their photos). And what's worse is that he was so so so so weird. He'd randomly shout stuff and start laughing and just randomly tell me about the girls he's slept with (ON PUBLIC TRANSPORT), made me a little embarrassed being with him tbh. He wanted to meet again after that but I made sure that he knew that I was meeting him as a friend, and nothing more.
Will you be meeting someone OP?
Will you be meeting someone OP?
(edited 9 years ago)
I've met up with about 10 people from OKCupid. Luckily everyone looked the same as their picture, apart from this one catfish that I managed to work out before meeting him when he added me on Skype and I realised he looked nothing like his pic (was even a different race, wtf?!).
What has annoyed me at times is that I've picked the 'looking for something serious' option on my profile, but a few of the guys still tried it on after meeting up like twice, which p*ssed me off because I want to get to know a guy first and if I were just looking for a bit of fun I would've ticked that option.
Another guy I really liked and we met up a handful of times, then when I asked if he saw anything happening with us, he seem shocked I would've thought that and said he was only on a dating site to meet friends because he was new to the city
The last guy I met was 2 years ago (after I was about to delete my profile after having no luck). It ended up turning out really well and we moved in together after a year. Sadly we've just recently broken up, but it gave me hope that you can meet nice people on there
Good luck if you're meeting someone!
What has annoyed me at times is that I've picked the 'looking for something serious' option on my profile, but a few of the guys still tried it on after meeting up like twice, which p*ssed me off because I want to get to know a guy first and if I were just looking for a bit of fun I would've ticked that option.
Another guy I really liked and we met up a handful of times, then when I asked if he saw anything happening with us, he seem shocked I would've thought that and said he was only on a dating site to meet friends because he was new to the city
The last guy I met was 2 years ago (after I was about to delete my profile after having no luck). It ended up turning out really well and we moved in together after a year. Sadly we've just recently broken up, but it gave me hope that you can meet nice people on there
Good luck if you're meeting someone!
Original post by thecatwithnohat
I met one and he didn't look as good as his pictures (which was a bit disappointment considering you expect people to look better irl than in their photos). And what's worse is that he was so so so so weird. He'd randomly shout stuff and start laughing and just randomly tell me about the girls he's slept with (ON PUBLIC TRANSPORT), made me a little embarrassed being with him tbh. He wanted to meet again after that but I made sure that he knew that I was meeting him as a friend, and nothing more.
Will you be meeting someone OP?
Will you be meeting someone OP?
Wow that does sound weird! Did you see each other again?
I don't know really. I've been talking to someone for a while and I think they're ready to meet up. They've given me their name so I can see them on FB, the problem is I don't use mine at all so my wall is very blank/inactive, which doesn't look good at all :/ and then it's the whole meeting in person which I imagine to be awkward and probably disappointing if they're not how you imagined.
Posted from TSR Mobile
It can be pretty hit and miss, but if you manage to find someone you can really connect with and talk to, it pays off. It's quite a trial and error process, and it might involve some experiences where you just don't have a great time and may be a bit uncomfortable. That's just the way it goes. You cannot truly grasp what a person is like online.
Yeah, most people don't look like who they are in the photos. Could be better, could be worse.
I don't want to disappoint people so I'd just close my eyes and not look.
I don't want to disappoint people so I'd just close my eyes and not look.
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