Money and relationships

Hey everyone!

Thought this could be interesting for a discussion, my friends and I were talking about this the other day.

Is there a point in the relationship where you essentially pool your money together and stop splitting things 50/50?

I know in my relationship we'll take turns in paying for dinner or a movie or whatnot. Also I would have no idea if one of us has paid more than another. Are your relationships similar or do you try and keep tabs on who's spending what?

Also I always had a little bit more money than my boyfriend so I was always happy to spend money on dinner and things as it meant I wouldn't have been able to do things either and we'd be both stuck at home. Do any of you pay a little more than your share and are happy doing so?

Also I paid for flights for my boyfriend to come to Berlin with me, I never expect him to pay me back as I was the one who asked him to come with me when my friend pulled out of the trip. Would you expect your partner to pay you back or are you of a similar mindset as me?

I agree with you. In my eyes, what's the point in being in a relationship if you're gonna keep tabs on who spends more? That would surely mean that you're friends rather than partners. It would maybe be different if one of you is taking advantage though.

I'd never stop splitting things. Perhaps when older we would have a savings account which we shared and used to pay for when we went out together. But both would have to contribute (not necessarily equally).

I'd never share my bank card with my partner that I got my money paid into.


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Also wouldn't expect the boyfriend to pay back the flight costs. Perhaps would expect him to buy dinner or cinema tickets, next time going out tho.


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See I'm the same, we just grouped our spending money together for our holidays, as that way we didn't need to worry about cash. However some of my friends were more of the "are we taking 25euro each to spend" type people.

Oh man, I couldn't deal with that! How old are they? Maybe it will change as they mature. I don't mpknow many adukts who do that

I'm the same as you in that I'll buy things for my partner or for us as a couple and not expect him to buy anything of equivalent value to make it up. He helps me out financially at the moment as it is and I try to make it up to him in as many ways as I possibly can - usually just making sure that my home is a retreat for him because really I can't afford to splash out on him or pay him back just yet.

When it does become possible that I could pay him back I don't think he'll want it. He's good with money - I'm not really so I just try to make sure we're comfortable and have enough to eat and do. He doesn't seem too bothered about the figure of money I owe him and hopefully soon we'll both be in the same household where we can pool all our money together and use it as a couple.

We don't really buy things for ourselves, I especially don't as much as I used to. I couldn't have him help me out with money for my home and then buy clothes with it!

I'll be forever in his debt for the help he gives me but he doesn't seem to mind as long as I keep his belly full. xx

Well we're doing 50/50 atm.

I'd definitely start doing shared accounts if we were married though to maximise interest etc.

Early 20s. However still students whereas my boyfriend and I have both graduated. I work full time and boyfriend is just starting his job.

Maybe that's what it is I mean, imagine if one partner falls ill and has to go off work for a while, how can they pay half? Or what if children are born? I dunno, just doesn't seem reasonable to me.

Aww that's cute I like the bit about the retreat. I'm similar but the reverse. I've given my boyfriend money for bills and things when he got messed about by his flatmate and I had the money so it didn't bother me. he was paying me back but it got to a stage we kind of forgot what he owed and just left it.

I'm sure when he's working (and earning more than me) it'll even out

Yea, I think it's because we're still fairly young. However my boyfriend and I don't live together, and now we don't even live in the same city. So it's making expenses a bit different as we're paying for trains up and down the country now.

My and my boyfriend currently share all the bills and food 50/50 in a joint account but the rest of our monies in personal accounts.
We ll starting having joint savings when we can afford to but wont ever be putting ever penny in an account we can both access probably pool most of our money then have personal cards for spending whats left over on whatever we want.

I feel that. Same here, only my bf drives so he has to pay for petrol all the time from Nottingham to Stoke

That's fair. I think when we eventually move in together we'd do that. I think we were considering opening a joint account for saving as we're planning on going to Florida next year and it'll help make sure we're saving!



It's going to be worse for us soon. Currently we are doing glasgow to London with our rail card it's £80ish return. He's moving up past Inverness though so we're going to have to fly instead. However I don't think it's going to be that more expensive. We're just going to have to plan more.