I am a horrible human being

You are NOT horrible at all. What's horrible about caring about your family, about loving them and not wanting them to die or have developmental defects?

All of what you've said is motivated by the fact that you love them, and I think deep down they know that. At the end of the day, yes, it is their choice. But I understand where you're coming from. My younger sister didn't talk until almost 3, and she is fine (member of some national gifted and talented thing, so I wouldn't be concerned about her being backward in any way!).
Giving up smoking isn't easy at all (both my parents do, have tried, and have failed) and I know how easy it is for 16 year olds to get inticed into smoking.
Personally I think it's horrible - I'm a 'try anything once' kind of person and have tried it, but I honestly can't see whats appealing about it.

All I think you can really do is try and support your mum. If she won't give up, just not talking about it is the key. You are not a horrible person though, and I'm sure that noone in their right mind would blame you for loving your family and not wanting horrible things to happen to them.

your mother is a grown up your borther at 16 is old enough to make his own decisions. If they want to smoke let them, if you dont like it move out.

You think youve grown up and yet you say stop smoking or i wont speak to you, no thats not grown up thats childish.

My mom smokes and i would not dream of telling her to stop smoking or i wont speak to her, i have more respect than that. Shes old enough to decide what she wants to do

Why is the title, "I am a horrible human being" becasue I think you know you're not doing anything horrible, as does everyone else. You're just doing the right thing, and you don't like smoking which most people don't. I won't go into my bfs room half the time cos it stinks so much, and I hate him smoking but I don't think I'm a bad person.

You're forgetting the rather important issue of the baby?

More for my own sanity than anything else, I've just done something terrible and can't even take it back.

My mum smokes, always has - I've always encouraged her not to, but gave up when it became apparent she wouldn't. This has always caused a lot of friction between us - she told me when I was about 11 or 12 that she would quit, promised in fact and never did. I (being pretty immature) didn't talk to her for a lot of my teenage years and only really made up with her when I was 17.

She got pregnant whilst I was 17, and continued to smoke whilst pregnant. I didn't say anything, because I've always gone for the road of not offending people. It bugged me, but I got over it.

My brother is two years old and doesn't/can't say a word. I know smoking whilst pregnant can lead to developmental defects and physical/intellectual problems, but its not likely to be down to the smoking, I'm sure.

My other brother (who's 16) started smoking after living with her for a while. She even lent him cigarettes, and asked him if he wanted to go for a fag with her. I still kept my cool, never told her how angry it was making me. By this time, I was at university, so I didn't see the point in starting an argument with her.

Over summer, one of my friends mums died from smoking (lung cancer), she was 40 and he was less than 20. I cried for the first time in years when I saw her, involuntarily and told her why I was upset (because she is nearly 40 and my brothers only 2). She quickly left me 'in peace' because she'll never discuss smoking.

They quit at new year (both of them, although my brother first). I got a text from her on Wednesday saying that she was sorry, but she'd started again. I got angry, phoned her and told her if my brother started smoking, I wouldn't forgive her.

He told me on MSN today he'd started smoking again (he was in a crash on thursday, so its almost certainly not linked to my mum). I texted her saying I meant what I said about not forgiving you and left it.

I was upset, really upset, because I felt nasty, but she knew what I'd said. I then found out that she had known he was smoking from Thursday but never bothered to tell me.

I rang her just now, and told her that I had over reacted, but it makes me so angry, because she never talks about it. She told me to call her back when I had calmed down. I then said theres no point, because nothing changes. We can't talk about things - she asked me what things, and I said about how she could be responsible for my brother not speaking.

First she said it was unfair, and I gave her the statistic I'd researched whilst angry (1 in 2 lead to developmental defects), then said that I think it was best if we just leave it, I'll forget she smokes, and work it out in my own head. I could tell she was crying, and she just said she'd call me back later.

I feel so horrible, really, I've managed to get my brother and mother to hate me, whilst upsetting her with something I can't take back. I really feel worthless, and hate myself beyond belief right now. I didn't mean to say it, but I just got so upset.

I walked the rest of the way home (I'd gone for a walk before ringing her) with tears streaming down my face, and I never cry.

Like I said, this is more for me than anyone else. Feel free to hurl abuse at me, I deserve it.

whats done is done, for whatever reason the child can/will not speak may not be due to the smoking, it could be caused by the tension caused by the OP. I agree if for no other reason than the mother shold have quit for the babies sake, my sister stopped when she had my nephew (started again though after he was born) though no one smokes around him