Girls - could you date someone who earned less money than you?
Firstly, I'm in no way a gold digger - so please read on before you pass judgement.
I've been with my boyfriend for the last 6 months, he's great, we are great and he's all I ever wanted. Trouble is, he's 25 and working a minimum wage job, pays rent and bills every month, that he doesn't have a lot of spending money. I probably earn more than double what he gets and have less expenses, so I have more spending money.
It's really frustrating because the things I want to do, he can't afford. We booked tickets for a holiday in a few months, and we are staying in a grotty 2* hotel because he thought the others were " a bit steep". He's asking how much spending money " we should bring" when quite frankly, I want to spend more than him, shop and have a good time, without being on a budget. Just now, his friends have asked him to go on a day out to the zoo later this week for a laugh and he's invited me, and is now back tracking saying the £25 tickets are expensive and " we are saving up for the holiday". So he's going to suggest to his friends to have dinner and drinks, and we can just go and have a drink or two and not eat.
I'm agreeing with him "yes we need to save up" when I already have the money.
I'm just getting sick of not being able to enjoy what I want to do with him. There's such nice places we can go to, but it's "expensive" according to him. I'll happily pay for myself, I'll happily pay for both of us - but his pride obviously wouldn't let me do that.
Anyone have any suggestions???
I've been with my boyfriend for the last 6 months, he's great, we are great and he's all I ever wanted. Trouble is, he's 25 and working a minimum wage job, pays rent and bills every month, that he doesn't have a lot of spending money. I probably earn more than double what he gets and have less expenses, so I have more spending money.
It's really frustrating because the things I want to do, he can't afford. We booked tickets for a holiday in a few months, and we are staying in a grotty 2* hotel because he thought the others were " a bit steep". He's asking how much spending money " we should bring" when quite frankly, I want to spend more than him, shop and have a good time, without being on a budget. Just now, his friends have asked him to go on a day out to the zoo later this week for a laugh and he's invited me, and is now back tracking saying the £25 tickets are expensive and " we are saving up for the holiday". So he's going to suggest to his friends to have dinner and drinks, and we can just go and have a drink or two and not eat.
I'm agreeing with him "yes we need to save up" when I already have the money.
I'm just getting sick of not being able to enjoy what I want to do with him. There's such nice places we can go to, but it's "expensive" according to him. I'll happily pay for myself, I'll happily pay for both of us - but his pride obviously wouldn't let me do that.
Anyone have any suggestions???
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Original post by stargirl63
he's great, we are great and he's all I ever wanted.
Clearly not.
Original post by stargirl63
Anyone have any suggestions???
Either put up with it or subsidise him. Personally I think that if you're insisting on doing expensive activities that he cant afford; you should subsidise.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by stargirl63
Anyone have any suggestions???
Just be honest with yourself. You'd prefer a man with more money. Dont let society tell you whether that's right or wrong, it's the truth. If the relationship was really strong it wouldn't be an issue and you wouldn't have posted this thread. Maybe take a break from the relationship and date other guys.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by stargirl63
Firstly, I'm in no way a gold digger - so please read on before you pass judgement.
I've been with my boyfriend for the last 6 months, he's great, we are great and he's all I ever wanted. Trouble is, he's 25 and working a minimum wage job, pays rent and bills every month, that he doesn't have a lot of spending money. I probably earn more than double what he gets and have less expenses, so I have more spending money.
It's really frustrating because the things I want to do, he can't afford. We booked tickets for a holiday in a few months, and we are staying in a grotty 2* hotel because he thought the others were " a bit steep". He's asking how much spending money " we should bring" when quite frankly, I want to spend more than him, shop and have a good time, without being on a budget. Just now, his friends have asked him to go on a day out to the zoo later this week for a laugh and he's invited me, and is now back tracking saying the £25 tickets are expensive and " we are saving up for the holiday". So he's going to suggest to his friends to have dinner and drinks, and we can just go and have a drink or two and not eat.
I'm agreeing with him "yes we need to save up" when I already have the money.
I'm just getting sick of not being able to enjoy what I want to do with him. There's such nice places we can go to, but it's "expensive" according to him. I'll happily pay for myself, I'll happily pay for both of us - but his pride obviously wouldn't let me do that.
Anyone have any suggestions???
I've been with my boyfriend for the last 6 months, he's great, we are great and he's all I ever wanted. Trouble is, he's 25 and working a minimum wage job, pays rent and bills every month, that he doesn't have a lot of spending money. I probably earn more than double what he gets and have less expenses, so I have more spending money.
It's really frustrating because the things I want to do, he can't afford. We booked tickets for a holiday in a few months, and we are staying in a grotty 2* hotel because he thought the others were " a bit steep". He's asking how much spending money " we should bring" when quite frankly, I want to spend more than him, shop and have a good time, without being on a budget. Just now, his friends have asked him to go on a day out to the zoo later this week for a laugh and he's invited me, and is now back tracking saying the £25 tickets are expensive and " we are saving up for the holiday". So he's going to suggest to his friends to have dinner and drinks, and we can just go and have a drink or two and not eat.
I'm agreeing with him "yes we need to save up" when I already have the money.
I'm just getting sick of not being able to enjoy what I want to do with him. There's such nice places we can go to, but it's "expensive" according to him. I'll happily pay for myself, I'll happily pay for both of us - but his pride obviously wouldn't let me do that.
Anyone have any suggestions???
if you are attractive enough dump him for a doctor/lawyer/accountant
Original post by stargirl63
Firstly, I'm in no way a gold digger - so please read on before you pass judgement.
I've been with my boyfriend for the last 6 months, he's great, we are great and he's all I ever wanted. Trouble is, he's 25 and working a minimum wage job, pays rent and bills every month, that he doesn't have a lot of spending money. I probably earn more than double what he gets and have less expenses, so I have more spending money.
It's really frustrating because the things I want to do, he can't afford. We booked tickets for a holiday in a few months, and we are staying in a grotty 2* hotel because he thought the others were " a bit steep". He's asking how much spending money " we should bring" when quite frankly, I want to spend more than him, shop and have a good time, without being on a budget. Just now, his friends have asked him to go on a day out to the zoo later this week for a laugh and he's invited me, and is now back tracking saying the £25 tickets are expensive and " we are saving up for the holiday". So he's going to suggest to his friends to have dinner and drinks, and we can just go and have a drink or two and not eat.
I'm agreeing with him "yes we need to save up" when I already have the money.
I'm just getting sick of not being able to enjoy what I want to do with him. There's such nice places we can go to, but it's "expensive" according to him. I'll happily pay for myself, I'll happily pay for both of us - but his pride obviously wouldn't let me do that.
Anyone have any suggestions???
I've been with my boyfriend for the last 6 months, he's great, we are great and he's all I ever wanted. Trouble is, he's 25 and working a minimum wage job, pays rent and bills every month, that he doesn't have a lot of spending money. I probably earn more than double what he gets and have less expenses, so I have more spending money.
It's really frustrating because the things I want to do, he can't afford. We booked tickets for a holiday in a few months, and we are staying in a grotty 2* hotel because he thought the others were " a bit steep". He's asking how much spending money " we should bring" when quite frankly, I want to spend more than him, shop and have a good time, without being on a budget. Just now, his friends have asked him to go on a day out to the zoo later this week for a laugh and he's invited me, and is now back tracking saying the £25 tickets are expensive and " we are saving up for the holiday". So he's going to suggest to his friends to have dinner and drinks, and we can just go and have a drink or two and not eat.
I'm agreeing with him "yes we need to save up" when I already have the money.
I'm just getting sick of not being able to enjoy what I want to do with him. There's such nice places we can go to, but it's "expensive" according to him. I'll happily pay for myself, I'll happily pay for both of us - but his pride obviously wouldn't let me do that.
Anyone have any suggestions???
Him earning less than me wouldn't bother me but refusing to let me pay because of some stupid pride thing would especially as it means a lot of compromise on your part. Talk to him about it and say you don't mind paying for some stuff you do together as it benefits the relationship and if the roles were reversed he probably wouldn't see anything wrong with it.
Original post by jennaz77
Just be honest with yourself. You'd prefer a man with more money. Dont let society tell you whether that's right or wrong, it's the truth. If the relationship was really strong it wouldn't be an issue and you wouldn't have posted this thread. Maybe take a break from the relationship and date other guys.
Original post by Reformed
if you are attractive enough dump him for a doctor/lawyer/accountant
Da*** is wrong with you?
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Come on, he's 25. There's no harm in him wanting saving up, especially since he doesn't have a well paid job. you probably knew this before you started going out to different places with him. If you're not happy doing what you do, then break up and date someone who has more money.
Can I just also add that I genuinely admire people who know that because they have a low paying job, they have to be careful with how they spend their money, and save and scrimp where they can. It's much better than the brain dead idiots who go into overdrafts and spend money on expensive things that they can't afford and end up in debt.
Can I just also add that I genuinely admire people who know that because they have a low paying job, they have to be careful with how they spend their money, and save and scrimp where they can. It's much better than the brain dead idiots who go into overdrafts and spend money on expensive things that they can't afford and end up in debt.
Original post by donutellme
Ikr I'm a girl and I'm ashamed of these gold diggers. A girl should love a boy for him not for his money, you idiots!!!
In short: I wouldn't have a problem with how much a guy earns as long as he has a good work ethic
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Original post by User23
Ikr I'm a girl and I'm ashamed of these gold diggers. A girl should love a boy for him not for his money, you idiots!!!
Surely the ability to care for your family is in some way desirable in a relationship? Up to a point, obviously.
Original post by jennaz77
Nothing.
However, what's wrong with you = insecure male getting butthurt because he hasn't yet realised that women like ambitious men
However, what's wrong with you = insecure male getting butthurt because he hasn't yet realised that women like ambitious men
Wrong. Women like ambitious men, sure. But just leaving him like that instead of trying to resolve it?
You're probably one of those women who think the world is theirs and that men should pay for everything, whilst at the same time being a feminist. Not good enough for ambitious men?
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Original post by jennaz77
Just be honest with yourself. You'd prefer a man with more money. Dont let society tell you whether that's right or wrong, it's the truth. If the relationship was really strong it wouldn't be an issue and you wouldn't have posted this thread. Maybe take a break from the relationship and date other guys.
I'd prefer if HE had more money. I wouldn't prefer someone else. It just pisses me off that I'm missing out on things because of his ****ty job. If I had known I was going to be living like a person on minimum wage anyway, I wouldn't have bothered with uni.
Original post by User23
Ikr I'm a girl and I'm ashamed of these gold diggers. A girl should love a boy for him not for his money, you idiots!!!
I'm really not gold digging. Not once I have I asked him to pay for me - how can I ask him to pay for me when he can barely pay for himself?! Technically the amount of times I have footed the bill, it would seem he is gold digging.
Original post by stargirl63
I'd prefer if HE had more money. I wouldn't prefer someone else. It just pisses me off that I'm missing out on things because of his ****ty job. If I had known I was going to be living like a person on minimum wage anyway, I wouldn't have bothered with uni.
I'm really not gold digging. Not once I have I asked him to pay for me - how can I ask him to pay for me when he can barely pay for himself?! Technically the amount of times I have footed the bill, it would seem he is gold digging.
I'm really not gold digging. Not once I have I asked him to pay for me - how can I ask him to pay for me when he can barely pay for himself?! Technically the amount of times I have footed the bill, it would seem he is gold digging.
Have you asked him to get a better job? Or tried to improve his credentials etc.
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Original post by stargirl63
I'd prefer if HE had more money. I wouldn't prefer someone else. It just pisses me off that I'm missing out on things because of his ****ty job. If I had known I was going to be living like a person on minimum wage anyway, I wouldn't have bothered with uni.
I'm really not gold digging. Not once I have I asked him to pay for me - how can I ask him to pay for me when he can barely pay for himself?! Technically the amount of times I have footed the bill, it would seem he is gold digging.
I'm really not gold digging. Not once I have I asked him to pay for me - how can I ask him to pay for me when he can barely pay for himself?! Technically the amount of times I have footed the bill, it would seem he is gold digging.
Oh right okay, then leave the relationship, find someone who will love you for you
Original post by donutellme
Wrong. Women like ambitious men, sure. But just leaving him like that instead of trying to resolve it?
You're probably one of those women who think the world is theirs and that men should pay for everything, whilst at the same time being a feminist. Not good enough for ambitious men?
Posted from TSR Mobile
You're probably one of those women who think the world is theirs and that men should pay for everything, whilst at the same time being a feminist. Not good enough for ambitious men?
Posted from TSR Mobile
Trust me, I am not a feminist.
I did not say she should leave him because he doesn't have money. I am saying that she needs to be honest about what she wants. She can't change her needs just because men like you think she is wrong. There are men out there who will give her what she needs.
There are relationships where the man earns less and there are no issues, because there is enough LOVE. However in the OPs case, the fact that finance is an issue shows there is probably not enough love there to keep them together long term. Relationships are about what flaws in your partner you can tolerate. If the partner was good enough in other ways, the finance problem wouldn't come into it.
Original post by donutellme
Have you asked him to get a better job? Or tried to improve his credentials etc.
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I have. I have done his CV for him to make him look amazing. He has joined a few recruitment companies etc.
The thing is, he did music tech at a west London college, because his parents wanted him to do something that "makes him happy" but now it's causing him a problem in employment ...so he's not really a desirable candidate for most well paying jobs.
you don't HAVE to spend money to have fun with each other. Look online at websites like wowcher or groupon and find deals, there's always insanely cheap holidays on there for like £60 which sure he'd have to save up for but it's worth finding ways to save money. If you save money on things you do together then you'll have more money to spend on yourself too
Tell him u going to pau for urself or **** off
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