Have you ever spat in your bosses' tea to get revenge?....

All the time!

Wait, you want a serious answer? I don't work sorry. I assumed this was a joke :P

Yes this is serious. Quite honestly, I'm in a dark place in my life have a lot of mental health issues, hidden rage, depression, anxiety that is preventing me from functioning a normal life.

Exhausted options, therapy both private and NHS, and I've deduced I should just be an evil ******* and provide myself with the instant gratification of getting my revenge on wrongdoers' in such a way that only I know.

Sounds wreckless, nasty, cruel evil and cold. But this is the person I'm becoming.

im not the boss of anyone so go ahead u wont be hurting me

Whoever does that is a complete knob. Don't scoop to their level.

Call me what you will. I've realised I sound hypocritical. I was thinking this just today as the thoughts echoed in my mind.

Honestly, I could go through all of the stuff my colleagues have said to me, the stresses, the emotional issues I've had, the battles I've faced and the struggles I've had throughout life with therapy, and mental health. But, I don't have the time, nor do you (to read at least).

Point is, I've tried been reasonable, calm, collected and rational. I've tried therapy, taking therapists advice, I've tried meds, I've reluctantly and angrily swallowed silly 'blunt' advice from my mum- comprising of "that's life". But end all be all is, it doesn't provide any relief.

The worrying thought is, these horrible thoughts I'm having I actually find funny, I actually laugh about it in my head, almost hysterically, though not because it's funny, more the sense of relief it gives. As if to feel "screw you, got you all good now didn't I"

lol no, that's disgusting.

It's also pretty pathetic to be honest. You can't actually stand up to someone so you do something horrible to their drink. They don't even know about it. That's 'satisfying'? Pull yourself together.

Hey, hey I didn't call you anything bro. I'm just saying you're better than they are. I don't know you personally but you sound like a cool person. You don't have to take crap from your colleagues remember that. Tell them that you want them to stop acting up or contact your HR department. If they fail to do so, just quit. There's no point working in a environment you are unhappy in. Wish you all the best OP. Stay strong and remember you are special and important and there are people who care about you.

Yes it is pathetic, I agree. I think I feel this way more out of the fact, I know if I lose my temper and become violent (which is likely), then the boss will probably just get her way by default. I.e. I lose my cool, I don't win, I Become the bad guy in the eyes of society. Whereas, if I did that, it's kind of satisfying to know I'm 'screwing her over' on the low. Sick I know- by the standards of any reasonable mentally stable individual. But I'm not particularly well, and to be frank, I am hating life right now, I have plenty of reasons to hate my boss, my colleagues and just the way my life's panned out.

Sure I bet your thinking 'oh god, another woe is me', no honestly, I'm past this stage.

Also, I can stand up for myself, believe you and me- if it wasn't for the ounce of self control I have, I'd have lost it with my work colleagues/boss/society by now. I frequently have violent outbursts, feel rage, and often fear myself- so this isn't a matter of my physically been cowardly here.

Cheers man, apologies if I jumped the gun.

Thing is, I've worked here for 8 years this August. My current boss has worked in her role for 4 yrs. I guess I've long outstayed my stay so to speak. Past my sell by date, in fact, I'd be happy to be fired actually. Put me outta my misery.

Sorry if I sound melodramatic, I'm just not stable right now. Each time I have someone piss me off, or somebody says something I don't like, I get pushed and pushed and feel one step closer to losing the battle against my issues. It's like I'm depressed on one level, but angry and volatile on another.

Sometimes it feels I may as well just lose it, and not give a damn...I'm in a "f*** the world attitude.

Not my boss but I spat in a family members bottle of wine. They were drinking too much

I'm categorically not saying you ought to use violence. That is no better a way to deal with your problems than the sneaky option. Deriving self-esteem from your willingness to engage in violence clearly reveals some of the insecurities and inadequacies you seem to admit to having. So does hating everyone around you because of how your life turned out. I'm simply saying that you shouldn't allow yourself to be manipulated or bullied. The adult way of dealing with this would be to exercise self-control, not show that anyone is getting to you, and get out of there.

You sound like you're really having serious problems. All I can say is that I think you should see a psychologist (you seem to have done so, but I'm not sure you are doing so at the moment) and follow their advice.