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My girlfriend has a close guy friend, and i don't really like it.
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That girl was a uckers
I would not like it too
Original post by Anonymous
My girlfriend of 4 months has a really close guy friend (almost best friend) who she has known a lot longer than me. She has opened up that they did once like each other more than friends, and that he was going to come down so they can "hook up" and stuff (He lives about 1 hour away). But ever since I've came into her life she says that she has no feelings towards him anymore, but i doubt that is true. She always talks to him online ect.. and i just don't like the thought of it? What can i do? I can't just say to stop talking to him since she has known him for around a year.
All about trust, she can have guy friends as you can have girl friends. If they are the kind of person who you can't trust around the opposite sex then it will always be hard to have a relqtionship.
Original post by Anonymous
My girlfriend of 4 months has a really close guy friend (almost best friend) who she has known a lot longer than me. She has opened up that they did once like each other more than friends, and that he was going to come down so they can "hook up" and stuff (He lives about 1 hour away). But ever since I've came into her life she says that she has no feelings towards him anymore, but i doubt that is true. She always talks to him online ect.. and i just don't like the thought of it? What can i do? I can't just say to stop talking to him since she has known him for around a year.
So you dont trust her? Not a great basis for a relationship - she is allowed guy friends, and you are allowed (girl)friends.
She has also known him longer than you. I could understand if they didnt know each other until AFTER you two got together.
Just think of it the other way around. If you had a really close platonic (girl)friend and you gf was saying what you are saying?
And anyway, if she's going to cheat on you, she will cheat on you and tbf would be likely to if you try and stop her seeing her guy friends she has known longer than you.
I should note, I am a straight guy with a close (she acc one of my best friends) (girl)friend Ive known about 3.5 years.
(edited 6 years ago)
Give her an ultimatum: drop him as a friend or you break up with her. They're obviously banging on the DL so if you stay in a relationship with her then you are, by definition, a cuckold.
It also wonders me with people say guys and girls cant be friends, or arent allowed opposite sex friends if they are in relationship.
Using the same logic would mean, bisexuals arent allowed and cant have any friends.
If you use the first statement, but dont agree with the logical follow on about bisexuals, your argument is logically inconsistent and therefore total bs.(which it is anyway)
Using the same logic would mean, bisexuals arent allowed and cant have any friends.
If you use the first statement, but dont agree with the logical follow on about bisexuals, your argument is logically inconsistent and therefore total bs.(which it is anyway)
(edited 6 years ago)
trust is an illogical concept, why should you let go of the scientific method, ie dealing in proof, in dealing with beings as immoral, unethical and imperfect as humans? there have been studies that show people on average lie several dozen times a day, it is illogical to leave someone to their devices in a situation where what you want not to occur is quite easily exacted? its all very illogical.
ignoring what i've already said for a bit let us examine another view point, if a girl cant give up a random guy shes only known for a year and that you clearly have a problem with, then she does not value you enough for it to be a lasting and strong relationship anyways. if i were to be in a relationship i would be in one with someone for whom i would be ready to give up my life for let alone a random person id only known for a year that has no blood relation to me. i guess you havent known her for long enough that the relationship could be at a point where you are ready to make sacrifices for the other person but even at an early stage this is not much of a sacrifice, perhaps she could start talking to him less and not meet him in solitude rather than cut him off completely for now, if its the case that she is not that willing to sacrifice much yet
ignoring what i've already said for a bit let us examine another view point, if a girl cant give up a random guy shes only known for a year and that you clearly have a problem with, then she does not value you enough for it to be a lasting and strong relationship anyways. if i were to be in a relationship i would be in one with someone for whom i would be ready to give up my life for let alone a random person id only known for a year that has no blood relation to me. i guess you havent known her for long enough that the relationship could be at a point where you are ready to make sacrifices for the other person but even at an early stage this is not much of a sacrifice, perhaps she could start talking to him less and not meet him in solitude rather than cut him off completely for now, if its the case that she is not that willing to sacrifice much yet
Original post by Napp
Stop being so controlling, its a friend. Chill.
Original post by fredmorg
let her decide for herself, you can't control her man
When the relationship gets sour guess who will be the first guy to hit it after consoling her....
She's speaking to this guy everyday...online etc. I would be just as concerned as OP.
Original post by Anonymous
perhaps she could start talking to him less and not meet him in solitude rather than cut him off completely for now, if its the case that she is not that willing to sacrifice much yet
perhaps she could start talking to him less and not meet him in solitude rather than cut him off completely for now, if its the case that she is not that willing to sacrifice much yet
I wouldn't be too impressed if you told me to do this. Shows how little you trust me.
Original post by Tiger Rag
I wouldn't be too impressed if you told me to do this. Shows how little you trust me.
Lets flip the situation around. You have recently just got a boyfriend and he told you about a girl he used to meet up with in the past and they had sex/sexual contact before and now their just "friends". He speaks to her all the time be it texting, snapchat or whatever but he has you as a girlfriend.
One day he then goes, "Oh I'm heading out with X, we are just gonna watch a movie and i'll be back later" ....you'll be honestly ok with that?
Original post by trapking
When the relationship gets sour guess who will be the first guy to hit it after consoling her....
She's speaking to this guy everyday...online etc. I would be just as concerned as OP.
She's speaking to this guy everyday...online etc. I would be just as concerned as OP.
Your assumptions arent welcome here.
So? she's entitled to have friends and just because the OP, or you as it happens, are insecure doesnt make a difference...
Original post by trapking
Lets flip the situation around. You have recently just got a boyfriend and he told you about a girl he used to meet up with in the past and they had sex/sexual contact before and now their just "friends". He speaks to her all the time be it texting, snapchat or whatever but he has you as a girlfriend.
One day he then goes, "Oh I'm heading out with X, we are just gonna watch a movie and i'll be back later" ....you'll be honestly ok with that?
One day he then goes, "Oh I'm heading out with X, we are just gonna watch a movie and i'll be back later" ....you'll be honestly ok with that?
As someone whose friends are mostly male, (I'm female) that would make me a hypocrite if I wasn't ok with it at all.
If they were really doing something, would he really he was meeting up with a female friend? I sure as hell wouldn't.
Original post by Tiger Rag
If they were really doing something, would he really he was meeting up with a female friend? I sure as hell wouldn't.
Lol but people are different just because you wouldn't do it doesn't mean he will do the same.
It sounds to me like this scenario would cause some concern to you, which is funny considering what you just said.
Original post by trapking
Lol but people are different just because you wouldn't do it doesn't mean he will do the same.
It sounds to me like this scenario would cause some concern to you, which is funny considering what you just said.
It sounds to me like this scenario would cause some concern to you, which is funny considering what you just said.
eh? You've obviously not read a word of what I wrote:
- I wouldn't be with someone I can't trust
- (and yes, I realised I'd missed a word out) If he was really doing something, would he say he was going to meet up with a female friend? I sure as hell wouldn't tell my boyfriend I was meeting up with a male friend if I was actually planning on cheating on him.
If I was that concerned, I would talk to him, instead of just coming on here and *****ing about him.
Original post by Napp
Your assumptions arent welcome here.
So? she's entitled to have friends and just because the OP, or you as it happens, are insecure doesnt make a difference...
So? she's entitled to have friends and just because the OP, or you as it happens, are insecure doesnt make a difference...
But that's not the point here. No one is saying you're not allowed to have the opposite sex as friends but rather there are certain boundaries that should be respected in a relationship.
Talking to someone everyday be it on Snapchat/Texting who you did sexual things with in the past but claim to be now "just friends" is crossing those boundaries of respect. Why would you do that...
Original post by trapking
But that's not the point here. No one is saying you're not allowed to have the opposite sex as friends but rather there are certain boundaries that should be respected in a relationship.
Talking to someone everyday be it on Snapchat/Texting who you did sexual things with in the past but claim to be now "just friends" is crossing those boundaries of respect. Why would you do that...
Talking to someone everyday be it on Snapchat/Texting who you did sexual things with in the past but claim to be now "just friends" is crossing those boundaries of respect. Why would you do that...
Aside from the slightly purile point that 'he was there first' the fact he once had a romantic interest, which was never acted upon, should hardly be used as a reason to burn his girlfriends friendship with someone who, by all accounts, is one of her closest friends simply because he is jealous.
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