I’ve often been encouraged to do a PhD, not always by people with the best of motives. Coming from a clinical background, there’s often a sense that PhDs are where you shunt people who are very academic but it’s considered would be useless in clinical practice and that can chafe. However, I’ve also been encouraged by very respected academics to pursue it and been in a position of having landed the first clinical job I applied for and being the first in my cohort to land a job and that’s given me the freedom of choice to say, actually, for all I love academia and research, I enjoy being a practitioner more, at least right now.
The point I’m making – perhaps not very succinctly or successfully – is that it’s nice to feel wanted. In academia, it’s very important to feel wanted, to feel your skills and knowledge are in demand because you know that you have something to contribute that is going to be valued.
Do you feel wanted? In demand? Are you being encouraged by the right people, for the right reasons? Are you having positive communication with people about this decision? If not, this doesn’t mean that you’re not good enough. Your grades say that you’re good enough, regardless of what your anxieties might say. You clearly understand this material very well or you wouldn’t be claiming distinctions. But perhaps, research skills-wise, you’re not quite there yet. Or maybe you genuinely don’t feel confident in doing a PhD yet. Maybe you need to do an MRes first. Maybe you would benefit from some time in industry or in a clinical setting, developing your skills and knowledge further, opening yourself up to some of the questions that need answering. And making yourself a desirable candidate who has something big to add to the discussion.
I know plenty of people who were rejected for PhD funding first time around who went out, beefed up their profile in the third sector or the private sector, and then re-entered the race in a far better position than they had left it. This could be you.
PhD requires confidence, a clear vision, and a willingness to learn. Don’t worry about being good enough so much as being ready. If you’re interested in a research career, meet the minimum entry requirements and believe you would gain genuine job satisfaction from doing it, take yourself seriously as a candidate and try to look at your objectively: what do you need to do in order to be able to do your best work? Other people will take you seriously as a candidate when you take yourself seriously.