I really dislike going into the city centre?

Pretty much what the title says.

I used to love it but now I really dislike it and it makes me uncomfortable for a number of reasons.

1. It’s usually busy. I dislike being around lots of people because it makes me feel insecure, paranoid, and also hyper-aware of my actions. I feel like people are judging my appearance and behaviour. I also feel vulnerable - almost as if someone could harm me?

2. I hate shopping in the city. I worry about making “mistakes” such as bumping into people, cutting in front of someone by accident, or even walking out a shop without paying. I really worry about doing anything that a stranger could perceive as rude or impolite. I’m scared to make eye contact with people in case they perceive it as negative or weird.

3. I’m terrified of getting into trouble. This is probably my biggest fear regarding the city centre. I am absolutely terrified of getting into an altercation with somebody. Although most people are busy minding their own business, there are a disappointing amount of people who like to cause trouble. I’ve experienced it many times in the city centre - racial/sexual harassment, nasty kids trying to provoke me, men being weird, mean girls. I’ve done a good job of ignoring it in the past but I feel like I’m way too emotionally fragile to deal with it now. My mindset is very negative (I take everything personally and also believe that people are out to get me.) I try my best to dress casually and act “normal” as to not attract any attention to myself. Also, there is a heavy police presence in town and it always makes me feel nervous/on-edge.

4. I’m scared of having a breakdown. I feel very emotionally fragile/defensive and I feel like the smallest negative interaction could cause me to breakdown. For example, overhearing a stranger say something about me or a strange man approaching me. I sometimes feel like even just the feeling of eyes on me will cause me to become paranoid and cause me to breakdown. I don’t have a history of “breakdowns” but I feel like that’s because I avoid any situation that could possibly make me feel uncomfortable. I also feel like the city is the most likely place for this to happen.

Overall, I just feel much more comfortable and safe when I’m not in the city. I am convinced that something will go terribly wrong if I go to the city.

Reply 1

wutanuk

3

I hate birmingham and the people are so rude I need to go back to nottingham my home town..I would never recommend it to anyone

Reply 2

Jakson123

14

Are you getting help for your mental health? I think that's the most important thing as it sounds like you might be suffering with anxiety and it can be very overwhelming. The next thing is - do you need or want to go into the city? If not then why not just avoid it until you've got help - or alternatively only go with someone else who makes you feel safe (if there is anyone).
You say you avoid anything that could possibly make you feel uncomfortable so this must be impacting your life quite a lot. You deserve to feel better than this. You should definitely speak to your doctor and get some help as there is lots of help for anxiety. Anxiety is also really common in people who are autistic - and they also often don't like busy, crowded places. So maybe worth considering if that might be a possibility.

Reply 3

Sorcerer's Storm

20

Original post by JackSan123

Are you getting help for your mental health? I think that's the most important thing as it sounds like you might be suffering with anxiety and it can be very overwhelming. The next thing is - do you need or want to go into the city? If not then why not just avoid it until you've got help - or alternatively only go with someone else who makes you feel safe (if there is anyone).
You say you avoid anything that could possibly make you feel uncomfortable so this must be impacting your life quite a lot. You deserve to feel better than this. You should definitely speak to your doctor and get some help as there is lots of help for anxiety. Anxiety is also really common in people who are autistic - and they also often don't like busy, crowded places. So maybe worth considering if that might be a possibility.