Does it make me weird if I want a job centre advisor who makes decisions for me?

They really aren't there to make your decisions for you...

So why are they there? To get you to work? So surely when I first joined the job centre at 18 you should just assume that I want to work? They asked me am I in training I said no I was at college they asked what course and I said A Levels but dropped out they said do you want to study, unless you want to do an apprenticeship do you want to do an apprenticeship

They are there to support you finding a job (or full time education or training if you're under 18), and part of that support may be financial in terms of benefits - but they do need to have evidence you are trying to find a job. They aren't there to give you a job nor tell you what job to do. They might be able to signpost you to resources to help you figure out what you may want to do - when I was on JSA previously for example they arranged for me to have a discussion with a careers advisor which was somewhat helpful to think about what I want to do long term perhaps.

The point is why ask me if I want to study full time or do an apprenticeship when I was 18? You can't be in the first year of full time education at the age of 18

The point is why ask me if I want to study full time or do an apprenticeship when I was 18? You can't be in the first year of full time education at the age of 18

Does it really matter? You are in your 20s now, so what difference does it make now?

If I was the one making decisions I would choose to be on benefits

Well yes, wouldn't we all...

Not using it as an excuse or anything

No offence, but it comes across like you are

I mean I was in denial and I don't like having anorexia attached to my name and I didn't accept it until recently and I used to say the complete opposite and yes I know there are people in the world with a worse birth defect than me who are struggling but managing, doesn't mean mine is not important. Before I used to say I don't have time to travel to the other side of London (even for physical health issues) I am meant to work and study or do what I want to do. I have more important things to do I don't have anorexia.

Do you know anyone who works with anorexia and what exactly can employers do about anorexic employees? You can't accommodate to that, employers are not your parents and at work one would say you are an adult not a child like at school (primary anyway when we were forced to eat) so you take care of yourself but people with anorexia nervosa would make excuses around food and not be able to take care of themselves. As a result of anorexia and my birth defect, my arms are like sticks, yes there are people with no arms and maybe they work maybe they don't and they are struggling but just asking, how are we supposed to lift anything? My role is a business administrator so barely any lifting but if it's lifting stacks of paper that may be hard due to my size and arms.

I am still going to work despite having anorexia and my birth defect. If its so bad I can just look for work from home roles again and see if I actually get a job that is work from home (not sure if it is going to be fully though, as In it might be hybrid or require you to go to the office at some point). Apprenticeships are in office roles, there are rare remote ones but even then they are hybrid and I am struggling to get anywhere with job applications but I am getting somewhere with apprenticeship applications so I am going to do one. It's outside my comfort zone but I don't mind and maybe I will be more bothered after being exhausted after one day (one day I said no to a 3 day work trial one day after as it was in a pharmacy and too hands on and body was in pain the next day and was too knackered and that was 3 stops away with a bus) as this time even though it's one bus and so many stops away from my house there is money involved so money will make you want to go to work.

Yes, I know several people working with eating disorders, including anorexia. Occupational health departments exist to help people with health conditions, including anorexia, to work with any reasonable adjustments that are necessary. So yes, work can accommodate your needs.

I actually want to take this job for reasons that concern my welfare. I actually think I am going to be raped in a male dominant environment and murdered and I don't care. I don't actually want this job or any job because I am just crying over the past. If studying is hard what makes me think hands on working will be any easier?

You need professional help to deal with this. I'm not sure TSR is equipped to deal with helping you come to terms with your past.

As Black Tea said, you sound like you need professional help. I've gone through your entire thread. You've contradicted yourself many times, gone off on a tangent, and basically ranted about everything. It's okay to be frustrated and it's okay to rant but it seems that there's so much going on emotionally and mentally which you haven't addressed in a healthy way. There's a lot you haven't dealt with, and we're not your therapists. You've asked a bunch of questions only you can answer yet the very fact that you should answer them is what's causing you distress. I wish you the best in life but I think you should seek therapy.