Should I tell him I like him or is it too late?
Hi,
I've liked the same guy for all of my teenage years. We've always been friends, but I never intended on telling him since I didn't think he would ever see me in a romantic light. This has changed in the past 6 months, however, with me noticing that he has asked to hang out more often one-on-one with me. He's even crashed at my place a few times after parties, simply because we talk to each other for hours. The problem is, however, that I'll be going abroad for university, whereas he'll be taking a gap year and living at home. I'm not sure whether telling him now is worth it, because we'd only be together for the summer months & then we'd have to go long-distance (if both of us would be willing to do that). I'm also still not certain whether he actually likes me, or if he just sees me as a closer friend than before. I'm terrified of getting rejected because I wouldn't want something to change between us. My best friend thinks I should ask him out on a date instead of out right telling him I like him, but I don't know how I would distinguish that from our usual hanging out. Any advice appreciated!
I've liked the same guy for all of my teenage years. We've always been friends, but I never intended on telling him since I didn't think he would ever see me in a romantic light. This has changed in the past 6 months, however, with me noticing that he has asked to hang out more often one-on-one with me. He's even crashed at my place a few times after parties, simply because we talk to each other for hours. The problem is, however, that I'll be going abroad for university, whereas he'll be taking a gap year and living at home. I'm not sure whether telling him now is worth it, because we'd only be together for the summer months & then we'd have to go long-distance (if both of us would be willing to do that). I'm also still not certain whether he actually likes me, or if he just sees me as a closer friend than before. I'm terrified of getting rejected because I wouldn't want something to change between us. My best friend thinks I should ask him out on a date instead of out right telling him I like him, but I don't know how I would distinguish that from our usual hanging out. Any advice appreciated!
Imo, you should tell him!
Honestly, I wouldn’t bother. There’s really no point trying to be in a relationship with someone when you’ll be in another country and have to go long distance. You’ll only see each other during the summer months, why do that when you can ask him in the future when the circumstances would be way better for you both?
Why do that when you’re leaving for new beginnings and experiences? You’ll meet so many new people abroad. He’s also doing a gap year which requires him to have fun and explore who he is.
I wouldn’t bring it up until you graduated. That’s when you can actually have a real relationship with the guy that won’t suck. I know there’s no guarantee either one of you would be single by then, but now isn’t the time if you want a serious relationship and not a casual fling/ situation-ship.
Why do that when you’re leaving for new beginnings and experiences? You’ll meet so many new people abroad. He’s also doing a gap year which requires him to have fun and explore who he is.
I wouldn’t bring it up until you graduated. That’s when you can actually have a real relationship with the guy that won’t suck. I know there’s no guarantee either one of you would be single by then, but now isn’t the time if you want a serious relationship and not a casual fling/ situation-ship.
(edited 1 year ago)
If you don't want rejection don't tell him, just enjoy your time together while it lasts. You sound to be relatively young, and are perhaps just at the stage of exploring life and the world. Often 'love' and relationships develop slowly edging forward with a little more time, a little more sharing feelings each day. Let the wish to be in each others company control your hours or next day plans. Your gut feelings should tell you how he makes you feel. Reciprocate. Be vulnerable but do it gently. If you are both unsure tell him how much you enjoy his company, make noises about meeting up down the line and see what the responses are? Be realistic though. Neither of you are going off to a convent or monastry and even if you you have feelings for each other there are no rights to see him and no ownership. You have to be free of the relationship shackles to enjoy the experiences each of you will encounter. Those experiences change your perspective and your outlook of the world. Each of you have to allow each other the time and space to find new loves, explore the world and see if you both still have intense feelings for each other at the end of it. If love will prevail after you have found new horizons and new personalities then all being well the future love will be solid.
(edited 1 year ago)
Thank you all so much for the detailed advice! I really appreciate it 
I would tell him because if he may like you back and you can have a happy relationship (dating) even if it’s only for a few months. Whereas for all you know he does like you and you could have that relationship if you tell him but if you don’t tell him then he will never know and you may be missing a great relationship here and miss your chance.
If you’ve been friends for a long time and close then he already loves you like a really close friend so you won’t stop being friends.
Overall if you tell him you may be making things better. If you don’t things won’t get better.
If you’ve been friends for a long time and close then he already loves you like a really close friend so you won’t stop being friends.
Overall if you tell him you may be making things better. If you don’t things won’t get better.
Original post by Anonymous
Hi,
I've liked the same guy for all of my teenage years. We've always been friends, but I never intended on telling him since I didn't think he would ever see me in a romantic light. This has changed in the past 6 months, however, with me noticing that he has asked to hang out more often one-on-one with me. He's even crashed at my place a few times after parties, simply because we talk to each other for hours. The problem is, however, that I'll be going abroad for university, whereas he'll be taking a gap year and living at home. I'm not sure whether telling him now is worth it, because we'd only be together for the summer months & then we'd have to go long-distance (if both of us would be willing to do that). I'm also still not certain whether he actually likes me, or if he just sees me as a closer friend than before. I'm terrified of getting rejected because I wouldn't want something to change between us. My best friend thinks I should ask him out on a date instead of out right telling him I like him, but I don't know how I would distinguish that from our usual hanging out. Any advice appreciated!
I've liked the same guy for all of my teenage years. We've always been friends, but I never intended on telling him since I didn't think he would ever see me in a romantic light. This has changed in the past 6 months, however, with me noticing that he has asked to hang out more often one-on-one with me. He's even crashed at my place a few times after parties, simply because we talk to each other for hours. The problem is, however, that I'll be going abroad for university, whereas he'll be taking a gap year and living at home. I'm not sure whether telling him now is worth it, because we'd only be together for the summer months & then we'd have to go long-distance (if both of us would be willing to do that). I'm also still not certain whether he actually likes me, or if he just sees me as a closer friend than before. I'm terrified of getting rejected because I wouldn't want something to change between us. My best friend thinks I should ask him out on a date instead of out right telling him I like him, but I don't know how I would distinguish that from our usual hanging out. Any advice appreciated!
Well hes been asking to hang out and stuff recently then maybe he prolly does like u. Do you feel comfortable with him? If u do u should ask him to go with u on ur study abroad as he is taking a gap year....
I think just have an honest conversation about it. Y'all could have a cute time together even if it is for a few months. As well you'll get dating experience what is a good friend could be a so-so boyfriend. And then you could say let's have a fresh start to know each other better as you go your separate ways. If you find yourself still thinking about the good time you had together bring it up again if you see him in later years. But this little gap will allow you to grow and see things from a different perspective.
If you get rejected, just say you don't want anything to change if he says no. It's better to not regret by not doing something.
Just say wanna go on a date with me? and see his reaction. If it looks confused, that's sorta a rejection, if it's a smile in his eyes, then that's a yes and you should give it a go!
If you get rejected, just say you don't want anything to change if he says no. It's better to not regret by not doing something.
Just say wanna go on a date with me? and see his reaction. If it looks confused, that's sorta a rejection, if it's a smile in his eyes, then that's a yes and you should give it a go!
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