Can someone please mark my 12 mark language question to English Language paper 2?

In lines 20 to 28, the writer describes the ‘weird’ fantails as being ‘shaped like an isosceles triangle’. The use of this simile highlights the peculiarity of the fantials and presents them as almost being ‘alien’, as it is clear that the speaker is very disillusioned with the appearance of the sweets. The writer uses glorified imagery where the fantials are described as being ‘glutinous’ so much so that they could ‘induce lockjaw in a donkey’. The use of hyperbolic language shows how fascinated the speaker is by the sweet, perhaps because they have never tasted anything like it. This makes us as the reader feel very intrigued by the sweet, as the exaggerated language makes us curious to know what the fantail tastes like. We see a sudden shift in the mood of the text where we learn that the task of eating the fantail involves a lot of ‘strangled crying in the dark’. The use of dark imagery here could perhaps evoke a sense of fear in the reader as the word ‘strangled’ has death-like connotations to perhaps show the danger of eating too many fantails at once. The glorified description of the fantail at the beginning of the text is immediately shattered here, as we now perceive the fantials to be quite dangerous as ‘any fillings would be instantly removed’.

I know i could have written more, but i'm not sure what else to say