Do I need to move on from her?

So. Me and this girl met at work about 4 months back now. Got on great and whatever and talked all the time for about 2 months. During this time, she was living with a guy. Her partner. During the time we were talking they were pretty much off and then all of a sudden he seemed to be interested in her again. He was a complete arse to her and then just switched up out of nowhere. Well, we decided we would take a step back as we were no longer comfortable with the situation. I really struggled with this. We’ve remained friends since, we see eachother at work. We go for food every now and again. I feel like all of this is giving me hope that she is still a possibility for me, even though she is living with her boyfriend. She tells me about when they fall out and we still have “flirty” moments. Like I’m just unsure if what I would like to happen can happen or not. It’s not clear. Maybe I’m delusional. But it doesn’t feel like it. I hate hearing about when they’re having good times together, it eats me up inside and I think about this whole thing way too much. I feel like just removing her from my life, or at least doing everything I can to make her a smaller part of it, is what I need to do. Because the whole thing is really deciding and ruining my mood. I would find that really hard though. I’m just rambling so I’m sorry if this made no sense. Some help would be really nice.

Reply 1

Rainbow1768

8

Original post by Anonymous

So. Me and this girl met at work about 4 months back now. Got on great and whatever and talked all the time for about 2 months. During this time, she was living with a guy. Her partner. During the time we were talking they were pretty much off and then all of a sudden he seemed to be interested in her again. He was a complete arse to her and then just switched up out of nowhere. Well, we decided we would take a step back as we were no longer comfortable with the situation. I really struggled with this. We’ve remained friends since, we see eachother at work. We go for food every now and again. I feel like all of this is giving me hope that she is still a possibility for me, even though she is living with her boyfriend. She tells me about when they fall out and we still have “flirty” moments. Like I’m just unsure if what I would like to happen can happen or not. It’s not clear. Maybe I’m delusional. But it doesn’t feel like it. I hate hearing about when they’re having good times together, it eats me up inside and I think about this whole thing way too much. I feel like just removing her from my life, or at least doing everything I can to make her a smaller part of it, is what I need to do. Because the whole thing is really deciding and ruining my mood. I would find that really hard though. I’m just rambling so I’m sorry if this made no sense. Some help would be really nice.

I think you should listen to your gut and try to move on, meet new girls. It’s toxic to have to hear about someone you like being involved with someone else. I know being friends with her is what you are naturally craving but this is all going to be more catastrophic in the long run if it doesn’t go how you’d like it to.
You might even find that by putting distance between yourselves that it has the desired effect.
But you have to put your own happiness first and it doesn’t sound like she is being fair to you.
You’ll meet someone better and in the meantime enjoy being single.

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

Clearly he's better looking than you. Girls want looks, not a good guy. As you can see it doesn't matter if he's a moron to her and you're good, she still prefers him