Being shy

I've went to a work event and I honestly didn't speak at all, I feel so ashamed of myself. My manager was there too, and I just listened to people.

I like observing and listening to people. I was extremely quiet, I was tired because it's been busy at work and I just wasn't in the mood tbh.

I didn't speak to my colleagues later on in the event. I just feel so bad because I was the quiet one.

I've been shy and quiet all throughout my life. I've tried to change but it just doesn't work. I've learned to love and accept who I am. I can't change to please people.

I AM A SHY AND QUIET PERSON, I WAS BORN THIS WAY. WHY CAN'T PEOPLE ACCEPT AND JUST LOVE ME FOR BEING ME?

any thoughts? thank you

Reply 1

Surnia

20

Are you the poster who asks about not speaking in meetings and being on performance review?

There could well have been other people at the event who were tired and not in the mood, but still made the effort to socialise. People can't 'love and accept' you when they don't know you because you don't speak! You could be viewed as rude for not joining in and the longer you leave it, the worse it will get.

You've said it makes you feel ashamed and bad, so change the way you do things. Why don't/can't you make a simple contribution to a conversation?

I was always tagged as shy and quiet at school; I had a successful career in the Armed Forces because that's what I wanted so I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and got involved in activities to boost my interaction and confidence.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Surnia

Are you the poster who asks about not speaking in meetings and being on performance review?

There could well have been other people at the event who were tired and not in the mood, but still made the effort to socialise. People can't 'love and accept' you when they don't know you because you don't speak! You could be viewed as rude for not joining in and the longer you leave it, the worse it will get.

You've said it makes you feel ashamed and bad, so change the way you do things. Why don't/can't you make a simple contribution to a conversation?

I was always tagged as shy and quiet at school; I had a successful career in the Armed Forces because that's what I wanted so I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and got involved in activities to boost my interaction and confidence.

You need to think before you know what to say. Some empathy would be nice, your tone is very shallow and harsh

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

Hi lovely,

I totally understand how you feel. Remember, everyone is different. Being loud or being quiet does not make anyone any better or any worse than you. Just stay true to yourself, participate when you're ready, and you'll be just fine. Being quiet/shy isn't the easiest characteristic in an extroverted world but with time, you and others will learn to love and accept your nature.

Maybe to prevent any feelings of shame when you're out, try to strike the right balance for you between observing and participating. I think just saying one or two things would make you feel better, but this way you still stay true to your quiet nature.

(Ignore the other person on this thread... some people just won't understand and they never will)

Reply 4

Surnia

20

Original post by Anonymous

(Ignore the other person on this thread... some people just won't understand and they never will)

If you read my reply I understand exactly. There have been numerous threads made on this and advice not taken.

Reply 5

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

I've went to a work event and I honestly didn't speak at all, I feel so ashamed of myself. My manager was there too, and I just listened to people.

I like observing and listening to people. I was extremely quiet, I was tired because it's been busy at work and I just wasn't in the mood tbh.

I didn't speak to my colleagues later on in the event. I just feel so bad because I was the quiet one.

I've been shy and quiet all throughout my life. I've tried to change but it just doesn't work. I've learned to love and accept who I am. I can't change to please people.

I AM A SHY AND QUIET PERSON, I WAS BORN THIS WAY. WHY CAN'T PEOPLE ACCEPT AND JUST LOVE ME FOR BEING ME?

any thoughts? thank you

I understand how you feel, but talking to people is how life works. In fact, it's how work works. It is very difficult to be successful if you don't interact with others. Even if it's as simple as a "hi, how are you?" leaves a good impression on people. Work can be draining, but it is for everyone. You still have to do it though. One time, I was 17 and my girlfriend had broken up with me 5 minutes before my KFC shift started over text. Did I want to work? No. But I did. Nobody likes to work, but we all have to.

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

Original post by Surnia

If you read my reply I understand exactly. There have been numerous threads made on this and advice not taken.

Trust me, i read your reply....

I'm not trying to beef with you, but advice is subjective. What works for you might not work for others. I'm simply just offering a different perspective.... and a more empathetic response.

Being shy

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