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Should I break up with my bf, he can be haram and distracting

Now I'm clearly not my usual religious self lately (I know having a bf is haram which means forbidden in Islam) even if we haven't slept together. I'm studying as a mature student now and moved away from home and known this guy for approx 2 yrs. My studies are really important to me. He came into my life due to some serious issues I faced and I found myself accepting his support and affection. Otherwise, I have always been faithful to the Religion, thank God. I still also pray and dress according to the faith. I feel slightly bad that the reason I wanna leave him is due to him being more of a distraction than it being forbidden too but tbf i would definitely want to move towards marriage and ASAP if this relationship is to continue.

Any advice? I have seen both Green and red flags with him.
Always trust your gut instinct and stick to your dealbreakers. :smile:

If you genuinely believe that it is wrong for you to date or have unrelated friends of the opposite biological sex, don't do it.
But put your own ambitions, health and physical safety first.
Good luck!
Reply 2
Original post by londonmyst
Always trust your gut instinct and stick to your dealbreakers. :smile:

If you genuinely believe that it is wrong for you to date or have unrelated friends of the opposite biological sex, don't do it.
But put your own ambitions, health and physical safety first.
Good luck!

Ty so much, the issue here isn't actually the morality or rules behind me having him in my life, it's more about whether he is a good or bad thing and if I can balance my studies and life goals around having him. Which are the two points I'm stuck on.

Also idk if he wants marriage yet, but I guess I have already identified that as a dealbreaker.
Reply 3
Anyone else? Any opinions on a long distance relationship and distraction at uni?
Original post by Anonymous
Anyone else? Any opinions on a long distance relationship and distraction at uni?


How has this been influential in terms of education whilst at university?
I think it’s fine as long as you’re halal in the streets but haram in the sheets tbh.
Reply 6
Original post by Mohammed_80
How has this been influential in terms of education whilst at university?

What do you mean please? Are you saying a long distance relationship has no impact?

For me it's influential because I am emotionally invested in him and if my mind is occupied with him then I worry that my studies will suffer
Original post by Anonymous
What do you mean please? Are you saying a long distance relationship has no impact?

For me it's influential because I am emotionally invested in him and if my mind is occupied with him then I worry that my studies will suffer

Do you see a future with him have you discussed marriage between the both of you
Reply 8
Original post by Mohammed_80
Do you see a future with him have you discussed marriage between the both of you


Yes alhamdulilah we are both Muslim so there are no barriers except culture, I am committed to a halal relationship and I've pushed him in that direction before but I probably need to speak about it seriously again with him because he is blocked at the moment and keeps calling me. Idk if I should leave him on blocked and forget about him (for various reasons i.e. the red flags I mentioned which include his haram past and even current haram habits) or if I should answer his phone calls.

I hope you know I am actually looking for sincere advice lol
Original post by Anonymous
Ty so much, the issue here isn't actually the morality or rules behind me having him in my life, it's more about whether he is a good or bad thing and if I can balance my studies and life goals around having him. Which are the two points I'm stuck on.

Also idk if he wants marriage yet, but I guess I have already identified that as a dealbreaker.


You have to learn how to have balance in your life. Even after school you will have to balance having a social life and work life. I don't think you should get rid of the things that bring you joy, including your boyfriend.
Reply 10
Original post by Anonymous
Yes alhamdulilah we are both Muslim so there are no barriers except culture, I am committed to a halal relationship and I've pushed him in that direction before but I probably need to speak about it seriously again with him because he is blocked at the moment and keeps calling me. Idk if I should leave him on blocked and forget about him (for various reasons i.e. the red flags I mentioned which include his haram past and even current haram habits) or if I should answer his phone calls.

I hope you know I am actually looking for sincere advice lol

If he is not committed to a halal relationship cut off with him, Zina is a major sin and is present between a couple until nikkah.

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