Dreading going back to uni
I'm dreading going back to uni alot. I am first year and my uni life isn't great. I don't have many mates and I'm starting placement so all friends I did have have left for placement so I won't see them for ages. My campus is very small and I get bored and lonely and very anxious. I'm very close to my family and miss them so much when I'm away. Im dreading going back to sleeping by myself. I hate that and am not used to it and freak out.
Advice or anyone in a similar boat please comment. I am in a apprenticeship so I get payed 20k for my fegree. I do hardly anything and get 2k a month so I'm staying in my course but it's just no uni life. I'm in a different country to my family and see them once a month maybe. There are like 3 societies to join and everything closes at 5om. My uni is based in a very small city with 2 nightckubs. I'm scared when I go back I won't cope and I'll become super anxious, bored, lonely and scared ill become depressed. I realise how ungrateful I sound for great salary snd free degree but it's tough with no real mates and very boring kife. I do have 2 friends from home in city which is an hour in train but I can't be going every night yk. Just looking for advice in how to calm down for going back and how to cope. I'm a very anxious person. Like so oanicky. I often think I'm mental and made everything up and worry I'll nenevr sleep at uni, become sckizo, been come depressed, just catatroziose akot. I try breathing exercises but nope. I get bad nighttime panic attack while trying to sleep and it sucks I can't go into my sister's room when I can't sleep at uni as I'm 8 hours away. How do you grow up? Anyone in similar position? Thank u
Advice or anyone in a similar boat please comment. I am in a apprenticeship so I get payed 20k for my fegree. I do hardly anything and get 2k a month so I'm staying in my course but it's just no uni life. I'm in a different country to my family and see them once a month maybe. There are like 3 societies to join and everything closes at 5om. My uni is based in a very small city with 2 nightckubs. I'm scared when I go back I won't cope and I'll become super anxious, bored, lonely and scared ill become depressed. I realise how ungrateful I sound for great salary snd free degree but it's tough with no real mates and very boring kife. I do have 2 friends from home in city which is an hour in train but I can't be going every night yk. Just looking for advice in how to calm down for going back and how to cope. I'm a very anxious person. Like so oanicky. I often think I'm mental and made everything up and worry I'll nenevr sleep at uni, become sckizo, been come depressed, just catatroziose akot. I try breathing exercises but nope. I get bad nighttime panic attack while trying to sleep and it sucks I can't go into my sister's room when I can't sleep at uni as I'm 8 hours away. How do you grow up? Anyone in similar position? Thank u
Sounds like you have a lot of time and money on your hands. Why not join clubs and societies outside of the uni?
Well, you know, you're transitioning into adulthood and it isn't an easy process. I can relate to struggling to sleep by yourself, if you haven't seen anyone or done much that day with other people.
You... you have to face it, sadly. Growing up means that, very sadly, you'll be spending nights by yourself and maybe not doing fun things every single day. And you have to get used to this, and only time will help you. But at the same time, that doesn't mean you should just sit there and do nothing. You miss your family? Call them every now and again. Only two nightclubs? Go to a bar then. Only 3 societies? I'm sure you're exaggerating. Go join one and try to meet people there. You're in a new country too, you say - go explore it! Plenty of things for you to do, I'm sure, if you only look for them. And if you go them and make an effort to meet new people rather than being bogged down by being far from your old friends, I'm sure you'll see you'll start feeling a whole lot better (if you give it enough time)
You... you have to face it, sadly. Growing up means that, very sadly, you'll be spending nights by yourself and maybe not doing fun things every single day. And you have to get used to this, and only time will help you. But at the same time, that doesn't mean you should just sit there and do nothing. You miss your family? Call them every now and again. Only two nightclubs? Go to a bar then. Only 3 societies? I'm sure you're exaggerating. Go join one and try to meet people there. You're in a new country too, you say - go explore it! Plenty of things for you to do, I'm sure, if you only look for them. And if you go them and make an effort to meet new people rather than being bogged down by being far from your old friends, I'm sure you'll see you'll start feeling a whole lot better (if you give it enough time)
Hi,
I am terribly sorry this is a situation you have found yourself in.
If you are able to and as you have stated find the positives, as you have said you are earning money from this course and probably along with it a lot experience in your chosen field especially with a placement coming up which will be highly beneficial. At the placement take the opportunity to meet people and make connections within your field that's what they are there for and can offer a different space too!
Are you aware of any mental health services on your campus? If not look into them, they can offer a lot of support and make you feel not so alone and help with those worries of feeling such emotions you have listed.
Also remember this is not forever, as someone who deals with such emotions one of the most important things I tell myself is "this is not permanent and not forever".
Something else I can suggest doing is (if you don't already) things like FaceTiming family and friends were you can, this can help you feel connected to them despite the distance quite well, and could recommend you doing this before going to sleep too.
With struggling to sleep what techniques have you tried to try and overcome this? What used to help me is watching videos on YouTube or familiar films or shows, like a comfort film or show, as the talking would help the space around me not feel empty, or maybe try some exercises to tire yourself out more too so you're more ready for sleep.
Hope this helps, good luck!
Katie (Film Graduate)
University of Wolverhampton
I am terribly sorry this is a situation you have found yourself in.
If you are able to and as you have stated find the positives, as you have said you are earning money from this course and probably along with it a lot experience in your chosen field especially with a placement coming up which will be highly beneficial. At the placement take the opportunity to meet people and make connections within your field that's what they are there for and can offer a different space too!
Are you aware of any mental health services on your campus? If not look into them, they can offer a lot of support and make you feel not so alone and help with those worries of feeling such emotions you have listed.
Also remember this is not forever, as someone who deals with such emotions one of the most important things I tell myself is "this is not permanent and not forever".
Something else I can suggest doing is (if you don't already) things like FaceTiming family and friends were you can, this can help you feel connected to them despite the distance quite well, and could recommend you doing this before going to sleep too.
With struggling to sleep what techniques have you tried to try and overcome this? What used to help me is watching videos on YouTube or familiar films or shows, like a comfort film or show, as the talking would help the space around me not feel empty, or maybe try some exercises to tire yourself out more too so you're more ready for sleep.
Hope this helps, good luck!
Katie (Film Graduate)
University of Wolverhampton
Original post by Anonymous #1
I'm dreading going back to uni alot. I am first year and my uni life isn't great. I don't have many mates and I'm starting placement so all friends I did have have left for placement so I won't see them for ages. My campus is very small and I get bored and lonely and very anxious. I'm very close to my family and miss them so much when I'm away. Im dreading going back to sleeping by myself. I hate that and am not used to it and freak out.
Advice or anyone in a similar boat please comment. I am in a apprenticeship so I get payed 20k for my fegree. I do hardly anything and get 2k a month so I'm staying in my course but it's just no uni life. I'm in a different country to my family and see them once a month maybe. There are like 3 societies to join and everything closes at 5om. My uni is based in a very small city with 2 nightckubs. I'm scared when I go back I won't cope and I'll become super anxious, bored, lonely and scared ill become depressed. I realise how ungrateful I sound for great salary snd free degree but it's tough with no real mates and very boring kife. I do have 2 friends from home in city which is an hour in train but I can't be going every night yk. Just looking for advice in how to calm down for going back and how to cope. I'm a very anxious person. Like so oanicky. I often think I'm mental and made everything up and worry I'll nenevr sleep at uni, become sckizo, been come depressed, just catatroziose akot. I try breathing exercises but nope. I get bad nighttime panic attack while trying to sleep and it sucks I can't go into my sister's room when I can't sleep at uni as I'm 8 hours away. How do you grow up? Anyone in similar position? Thank u
Advice or anyone in a similar boat please comment. I am in a apprenticeship so I get payed 20k for my fegree. I do hardly anything and get 2k a month so I'm staying in my course but it's just no uni life. I'm in a different country to my family and see them once a month maybe. There are like 3 societies to join and everything closes at 5om. My uni is based in a very small city with 2 nightckubs. I'm scared when I go back I won't cope and I'll become super anxious, bored, lonely and scared ill become depressed. I realise how ungrateful I sound for great salary snd free degree but it's tough with no real mates and very boring kife. I do have 2 friends from home in city which is an hour in train but I can't be going every night yk. Just looking for advice in how to calm down for going back and how to cope. I'm a very anxious person. Like so oanicky. I often think I'm mental and made everything up and worry I'll nenevr sleep at uni, become sckizo, been come depressed, just catatroziose akot. I try breathing exercises but nope. I get bad nighttime panic attack while trying to sleep and it sucks I can't go into my sister's room when I can't sleep at uni as I'm 8 hours away. How do you grow up? Anyone in similar position? Thank u
Hi there,
I'm sorry to read of your struggles. I also found uni (even in a medium-sized city) pretty challenging to settle into. My advice would be to be nice to yourself, this is normal and not your fault. If you're going to stay then just accept that settling is a long process and take your time. Have you tried using some of the money to travel around this new country that you're living in a visit larger cities on the weekend? Or getting a part-time job just to get out there and meet people. If this is common at your university, there may be support at your student union. Just some things to think about.
All the best,
Jaz - Cardiff student rep
Original post by Anonymous #1
I'm dreading going back to uni alot. I am first year and my uni life isn't great. I don't have many mates and I'm starting placement so all friends I did have have left for placement so I won't see them for ages. My campus is very small and I get bored and lonely and very anxious. I'm very close to my family and miss them so much when I'm away. Im dreading going back to sleeping by myself. I hate that and am not used to it and freak out.
Advice or anyone in a similar boat please comment. I am in a apprenticeship so I get payed 20k for my fegree. I do hardly anything and get 2k a month so I'm staying in my course but it's just no uni life. I'm in a different country to my family and see them once a month maybe. There are like 3 societies to join and everything closes at 5om. My uni is based in a very small city with 2 nightckubs. I'm scared when I go back I won't cope and I'll become super anxious, bored, lonely and scared ill become depressed. I realise how ungrateful I sound for great salary snd free degree but it's tough with no real mates and very boring kife. I do have 2 friends from home in city which is an hour in train but I can't be going every night yk. Just looking for advice in how to calm down for going back and how to cope. I'm a very anxious person. Like so oanicky. I often think I'm mental and made everything up and worry I'll nenevr sleep at uni, become sckizo, been come depressed, just catatroziose akot. I try breathing exercises but nope. I get bad nighttime panic attack while trying to sleep and it sucks I can't go into my sister's room when I can't sleep at uni as I'm 8 hours away. How do you grow up? Anyone in similar position? Thank u
Advice or anyone in a similar boat please comment. I am in a apprenticeship so I get payed 20k for my fegree. I do hardly anything and get 2k a month so I'm staying in my course but it's just no uni life. I'm in a different country to my family and see them once a month maybe. There are like 3 societies to join and everything closes at 5om. My uni is based in a very small city with 2 nightckubs. I'm scared when I go back I won't cope and I'll become super anxious, bored, lonely and scared ill become depressed. I realise how ungrateful I sound for great salary snd free degree but it's tough with no real mates and very boring kife. I do have 2 friends from home in city which is an hour in train but I can't be going every night yk. Just looking for advice in how to calm down for going back and how to cope. I'm a very anxious person. Like so oanicky. I often think I'm mental and made everything up and worry I'll nenevr sleep at uni, become sckizo, been come depressed, just catatroziose akot. I try breathing exercises but nope. I get bad nighttime panic attack while trying to sleep and it sucks I can't go into my sister's room when I can't sleep at uni as I'm 8 hours away. How do you grow up? Anyone in similar position? Thank u
Anon,
Try not to worry before you even got back to uni (!) but remember you do have time to think about what you can do to make things easier when you are there.
Placement will hopefully keep you busy and help you feel less lonely as hopefully you will meet some good people there who you can talk to. You can also still stay in contact with the people who you have already made friends with. I am sure they would appreciate a message to see how things are going on placement and whether you are having a similar nervous/, brilliant/tiring time on placement. It could be a phone call at the end of the week or it could be sending some messages at lunchtime, just stay in contact!
Be pro-active in keeping contact with the friends you have begun to make but also with your family. Plan when you will go to see them, so you have something to look forward to, and in the meanwhile if anyone might be free to visit. Be honest about how you're still finding it difficult to settle in a new place, and still miss home and how it would be nice to see them more often. They might be able to visit, which will again give you something to look forward to. Try also to have a regular time when you call home, so that you can catch up with family, but also so that you can share what's happening in your life. It will help you stay connected and supported : )
You might also like to consider booking an appointment with your GP (or when you get to uni, finding out more about support services that might help you with your anxiety, depending on whether this level of anxiety is usual for you or not.)
It could also be an idea to think about what doesn't close at 5pm and things that you could do on different evenings e.g. going to sports classes/gym may be twice a week or doing shopping/ laundry in the evenings rather than during the day, so you have something to do in the evenings that keeps you busy. Maybe you can try reaching out more to your housemates: cooking and eating dinner together, a movie night, a games night, etc...
You might also like to think about new hobbies that you could pursue/goals that could help keep you busy or that could help you meet new people e.g. learning a new language or joining a book club. What might be a goal or a challenge that you would like to achieve this year that you could work towards?
Finally, you could try writing things down (journaling perhaps before you go to sleep), listening to calming music, reading or trying to sleep at a regular time.
Hope that helps,
Oluwatosin – 3rd year student – University of Huddersfield
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