I guess this is a vent?

Hi guys, I guess i'll go by 'anon' haha!
I've been feeling really *****y today so i'm here to vent
I'm in my second year of school, I'm doing a course in health and social care (extended diploma) I've always wanted to be a midwife and I thought health and social care was the perfect course. Well, its all gone downhill for me. When I first began first year, it was really hard to adjust to the new school ( I went to a school further away bc my orig secondary school didnt do my course :P)
Well anyways I planned to get distinctions in all of my assignments...but that backfired so bad. You see my school is like REALLY unorganised and for a couple of months I didnt have a teacher, FOR AN EXAM UNIT!. Anyways, for first year I got a pass as my overall grade. I was sad obvi since I got 3 passes and 3 merits (. Thats all my fault to be honest, I should've tried harder..if only I could go back. Continuing on to second year, I was determined to get all distinctions in my courswork--excluding exams, I just wanted to get a merit. ...WELL we got our results a few days ago and I passed...I'm glad but not happy. I was told that if retake then I'll get the grades I need, but getting a DDM rn is out of reach. I am going to resit but I still feel really discouraged. I really am thinking that I wont be able to do midwifery-- Ive always wanted to do midwifery but now...I guess that plan is out of the window. Ive gotten offers from universities as well but they expect me to get around 112-120 points. I give up atp...I might drop out or I might just do something else. Anyways thanks for listening anyways ) -- anon