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Mum's spending ALL my money!

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Please show some respect dude.

The main things I can tell you Greyrob is.

*Family always take things for granted and they know our weaknesses.

*but yet, family is the most important thing you got, (yes more important than your friends) because when **** goes down, you will find out that maybe 1-2 friends are the for you, IF youre lucky.

To start with, sit down and talk and explain, maybe she thinks it's ok and thinks that you got enough to make it without concerns.

If she doesn't take that information to change, you have to be a bit harder and tell her NO.

What you can do here is, helping her find a better job if she is ok with that. Or you could find a way to work extra and maybe "borrow" her without using the loaned money.

I wish you good luck!

Thank you very much! :smile:

. I think this is the best advice someone has given on this thread :smile:

Reply 21

noisy06

Original post by Greyrob

Yes..... yes she did, and she's been complimented a lot on how well she's brought me and my siblings up :smile:

.

I'm proud to be caring about my mum, and quite frankly if you don't then it makes you a sick person. I'm just wanting to try and show it from my point of view. I would like a little bit of money to take care of myself, and have no problem helping out mum, and what I mean by "taking advantage" is that she asks for around £200-250 EVERY payday, and I only get £400 a month.... see where I'm coming from now?

Yes, I do see the problem. I hope you find a solution and I wish you and your mum all the best :smile:

Reply 22

Swe777

Original post by Greyrob

Thank you very much! :smile:

. I think this is the best advice someone has given on this thread :smile:

No problem! I'm glad you can use the information.

I know it's hard, but try to not get stuck in negative thoughts.

There is ALWAYS a solution, and the best way is to be truthful with family and talk about thing even if it's hard sometimes. You are in the same boat if you know what I mean.

The most important thing is also feedback, if you can't trust friends with this information, a forum I a good step. (even if some answers are less serious)

As some people say, she is your MOTHER and yes she gave you life.
Remembering that, it doesn't have to mean that you have to pay ALL the things she did for you in "one jump", taking "smaller steps" is sometimes more effective. You have to start somewhere, right?

Just PM if you need more advice. :smile:

Reply 23

f1mad

Original post by noisy06

Just put up and shut up. If she hadn't **** you out into the world you definitely wouldn't have had a social life.

Lol, using that as an argument is weak and pathetic.

Reply 24

noisy06

Original post by f1mad

Lol, using that as an argument is weak and pathetic.

Almost like your post? :wink:

Reply 25

Chihiro94

From experience, although the majority of us all love our mums dearly, and would do almost anything, if you know she's "using" you (you know what I mean, not meant to be as harsh as it sounds but i can't think of another way to phrase it) then have a frank discussion with her about how you can't afford to loan her money. End of the day, it's your loan, your money, that you're going to have to pay back, and if your paying a reasonable amount for your upkeep, then you should be allowed to act as an adult and make your own descions and do what you want with your money (you can't escape family bonds but my dad has an agreement that if I were to stay and pay rent, I'd be allowed a say as an equal in the house not a child who should feel guilty for staying there)

Hope you get it resovled. :smile:

By the sounds of it, your mums like mine, lovely but not really to be trusted lending money to. Yes, she bought you up, but you need to live a life at some point, and one day you'll proably have to do the same with your own kids. It's better to nip these things in the bud, leaving it'll will just lead to a bigger fallout.

Reply 26

f1mad

Original post by noisy06

Almost like your post? :wink:

Not even going to bother. :rolleyes:

Reply 27

noisy06

Original post by f1mad

Not even going to bother. :rolleyes:

Well you've said my reason is weak and pathetic without providing a reason. Which makes your post worse than mine :cool:

Reply 28

f1mad

Original post by noisy06

Well you've said my reason is weak and pathetic without providing a reason. Which makes your post worse than mine :cool:

"Not even going to bother."

Reply 29

noisy06

Original post by f1mad

"Not even going to bother."

I can see why :biggrin:

Reply 30

rac1

If you haven't already then I guess you should look into what bus/train passes there are.

IMHO,As long as you have enough money to live on/study on and a little disposable income, then the rest should go to your mum if she's spending it wisely which I'm sure she is, but hey.
:smile:

Reply 31

Cybele

Your student loan wasn't given to you to loan out to other people, it's their to aid your life as a student. Just be firm and tell her you can't lend her any more and can she please stop asking. :indiff:

Reply 32

Fraga

Original post by noisy06

I can see why :biggrin:

From what I've read in this thread, YOUR posts are the most worthless and unproductive of the lot. So give up, you've made yourself look silly enough.

The guy wants advice about this situation with his mum not a bunch of crap about you trying to score points with someone over the internet...

Grow up. :wink:

On Topic: Yeah I agree with what swe said, talk to your mum cos you never know, she may not even realise what she's actually doing, she probably thinks you're loaded :smile:

Reply 33

noisy06

Original post by Fraga

From what I've read in this thread, YOUR posts are the most worthless and unproductive of the lot. So give up, you've made yourself look silly enough.

Shut up, I didn't ask for your worthless opinion. :smile:

At least I gave detailed answers to the question, whereas you just gave detailed criticism on my answer.

Reply 34

coolmushroom

You're committing fraud, the terms of the loan say it can't be loaned out again. Please stay safe.

Reply 35

Hopple

Original post by Greyrob

I should also mention that she guilt trips me whenever I complain about it, and always goes on about how if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't even have my loan in the first place!

Without her, you'd have a grant :colone:

Reply 36

hunter08

Original post by noisy06

Just put up and shut up. If she hadn't **** you out into the world you definitely wouldn't have had a social life.

Original post by noisy06

What a disgusting piece of advice. OP's mum has been carrying them around for 9 months + breastfeeding+ teaching them how to walk and life in general+ wiping their arse after a **** in the loo+ changing their nappies+ taking care of their health and you're telling them to smash the door in her face? You're what's wrong with society you know that? No principles. I bet you'll chuck your parents in a retiring home like animals when they grow old like other low-lifes.

Original post by noisy06

You're calling me arrogant and you're accusing your mum of taking advantage of you? If I spelt out exactly what I think of you in response to this I'd probably be banned from TSR. You don't have to give ALL of you money away, but she did take care of you so it's now your job to take care of her and strive to help her as much as possible :smile:

Why does everyone have this idea in their head that just because someone brought you into this world they are your god and you must bend over to them forevermore? Sure its good to appreciate your mum for what she did but it in no way excuses her from being a dickhead. I have been fighting against this my whole life. My mum did all kinds of bull**** to me over the years (punching me in the face when i was younger, kicking me out three times and causing me to fail my degree just because i objected to her new boyfriend ordering me around etc) and whenever I gave my reasons to people for disowning her I was always met with a whine of "but she's your mother". I'm sorry but just because you did one good thing doesnt not give you licence to be a total ******* and ruin someones life in future. I don't do unconditional love. if youre a prick who made me homeless and living on the streets and caused me to flop my degree i don't want to have anything more to do with you end of. Parents try and do this psychological control as in "you owe them unconditional loyalty and love" on their kids. That's how some Asian parents manage to be so unbelievably autocratic towards their kids. If it wasn't for the brainwashing then it would simply be a case of get a job and escape for many. At the end of the day the OP's mum is totally out of order for demanding money off her. Bringing someone into this world is supposed to be done out of the goodness out of your own heart. You can't start demanding a profit for an unasked for good deed.

Reply 37

Fraga

Original post by noisy06

Shut up, I didn't ask for your worthless opinion. :smile:

At least I gave detailed answers to the question, whereas you just gave detailed criticism on my answer.

Reply 38

noisy06

Original post by Fraga

Be a good girl now :smile:

Reply 39

TheStudent.

Original post by hunter08

Why does everyone have this idea in their head that just because someone brought you into this world they are your god and you must bend over to them forevermore?

Sure its good to appreciate your mum for what she did but it in no way excuses her from being a dickhead. I have been fighting against this my whole life. My mum did all kinds of bull**** to me over the years (punching me in the face when i was younger, kicking me out three times and causing me to fail my degree just because i objected to her new boyfriend ordering me around etc) and whenever I gave my reasons to people for disowning her I was always met with a whine of "but she's your mother". I'm sorry but just because you did one good thing doesnt not give you licence to be a total ******* and ruin someones life in future. I don't do unconditional love. if youre a prick who made me homeless and living on the streets and caused me to flop my degree i don't want to have anything more to do with you end of. Parents try and do this psychological control as in "you owe them unconditional loyalty and love" on their kids. That's how some Asian parents manage to be so unbelievably autocratic towards their kids. If it wasn't for the brainwashing then it would simply be a case of get a job and escape for many. At the end of the day the OP's mum is totally out of order for demanding money off her. Bringing someone into this world is supposed to be done out of the goodness out of your own heart. You can't start demanding a profit for an unasked for good deed.

His mother isn't making a profit, but rather taking a loan from her son, and paying it back later.

Whats so atrocious about his mother asking for a loan? How is she "totally out of order"? Why is she a dickhead? lol.

Parents don't psychologically control their children. Its a little something called showing them care and compassion. You weren't given it, so whats lacking in your situation is love... which is completely understandable as she threw you out, made you fail your degree <- not sure how but w/e, physical abuse. But she's still your mum :tongue: