So sick of being rejected.

If you were in my position, you'll understand that there comes a point in every guy's life when he just can't take rejection any more. So then he needs to approach the issue by using anger, frustration, hatred and jealousy to guide him. And seeing as I can't show any of those sides of my personality to a girl (she would run away instantly), I take out all of those emotions on an escort and come back feeling renewed. Which is why I definitely need to go and have angry sex this weekend before I can "work my rejection muscle" again.

All muscles get tired eventually, and I haven't been promised any land by anyone - so how do I know I will reach it?

No. I don't know what kind of weird scool you go to, but the bit in italics just doesn't happen.

Why does the fact he is happy single make him oblivious? You are obviously just needy and desperate, which is probably why you cant get a girlfriend, seems to me you are the oblivious one.

The thing is I am in OPs shoes, no-ones interested in me. And my best friend even more so, he is 23 and never had a gf, he doesn't care. OP needs to get over it and get on and enjoy his life.

It wasn't my brother, I just took issue with the fact because I am happily single and in no way oblivious. Not needing anyone else to be happy is a good thing.

Dont do something stupid...just because girls don't like you. In my opinion I'm nor sure if your looking for your type. If your into the ones who slap on 5inches of make-up and the thick blonde ones. Then forget it. I don't understand where your so desperate for an intimate relationship. I mean I'm 20 and i could not care less, i rather complete my studies first.

I know the above won't solve your problem, but you just need to pick yourself back up and move on. Life doesn't just end if people don't like you.

PM me if theres anything i could help you with

P.S This might sound stupid but what type of girls are you after?

It's all about confidence mate. I was never popular at college, all the girls at my college only talked to the fit boys. At uni I'm friends with so many pretty girls on my course. Also alto of people at uni are so obsessed with going to the gym...

Question - These 'great friends' that you've made, are they the same girls that take three months to respond to you?

There are 3 billion woman on this earth, one day you will be in luck.

He MAY be needy - but thats because there's so much pressure and he see's so many people in relationships and he'd just like to have ONE but somehow seems impossible!

All I can say is, if you were a guy in OP's shoes, then you would probably understand.

For a male, your ability to attract a woman is a HUGE part of your makeup/psyche. The fact that he hasn't been able to get ONE girl to at least admit that she's interested is eating him alive. I know it did it to me.

Sure after I grew up I realised that being in a relationship wasn't that important....but there's so much pressure on a guy to be able to "pull" that you wouldn't believe it, ESPECIALLY when he's never been in a relationship.

There were literally times that I'd PRAY just to be able to get a girlfriend. He's needy, and he probably knows it. It's great that your brother doesn't feel the pressure to not be in a relationship. However, for most guys, its not easy, and I think you're seriously underestimating how bad it FEELS for a guy in his late teens/early 20's to have never had a relationship, or even a girl professing her feelings for him

I never meant to cause any offence by saying your brother is oblivious - I meant it in the nicest possible way. Maybe I should have phrased it better - what I meant was that I envy him for being happy without a girlfriend. I would love to be happy as a single man, but it's becoming clear more and more that I can't be.

Frankly, there's no need for you to go on the offensive like that. It's very easy for you to say "get over it", but you're not a man like I am so you don't know how important a genuine relationship is to me. And if you're so happy being single, how can you claim to be in my shoes?

You obviously didn't read my OP carefully enough - I am at uni, not school. There is a massive culture of guys drinking themselves into the ground and girls finding this so attractive. I'm in a department where loads of guys are good with the ladies just because they drink heavily and/or play sports, even though some of them treat the girls so badly. Obviously these guys don't go out with 2-3 girls at the same time, but I have seen friends of mine being extremely flirty with several girls in the first few weeks of term and end up dating many of them in turn, one after the other, within about 6 weeks. It might not happen where you come from, but it certainly does here.

So as you claim to be in my shoes, you tell me - why are guys/girls like you and me always rejected when others can attract the opposite sex so easily?

I guess some guys just have a way about them. Even though you ask girls out, you are not a player in the slightest. You probably lack the skills needed to get one interested in you, as do I long term. Some guys just have that way about them.

I've had girls I've thought may be interested in me, but this then turns to them quickly going off me, and suddenly feel awkward around them because I'm not sure how to respond/be around them anymore.

But I believe I'm different in the regard of how I carry myself. A lot of my work mates thought I was gay, and that does play on the mind; Especially since potential girls may feel the same after meeting me.

dgeorge has a great point, and put it so well. I feel exactly like that, but just can't do much about it.

I just can't understand why this keeps happening. Please advise.

Here's the story: I'm in my first year of uni now and I'm loving every minute of it. I'm studying an amazing course and made several great friends, most of whom are female.... I have to accept that girls are just not interested in me like they are in other guys, and it's killing me inside.

Last year, on my gap year, I asked a few girls out and was rejected every time....

After every rejection, I've taken a step back and looked at what went wrong. ...It's not my attitude or appearance, as I try my best to come over as smooth, I take care of myself and I treat girls with the utmost respect. So then I really can't understand why they choose to go for the guys who, compared to me, are idiots (don't want to sound arrogant, but it's true).

I'm concerned about falling into depression (despite having plenty of friends and emotional support) because being more than just friends with a girl is so important to me, and I haven't kissed a girl in 7 years. Some would call me a social recluse because I don't drink, but I still go out regularly and enjoy myself in restaurants/bars/cinemas/whatever with my friends. I'm expected to drink myself silly to show others I can have a good time, which girls find attractive. It seems like girls only want to go out with me if we're with a group of other people - never ever alone with me. I'm always putting on a brave face, like I don't care about having a girlfriend, but in reality it's making me more and more miserable.

That's not the end of it: there seems to be a deep-rooted problem with the way girls are treating me at the moment.....They ask me something, I reply, then silence. Each girl takes about 3 months to reply to a text or phone call - unless I speak to them in person or they need something, in which case they will send me another message and the cycle starts again.

I'm starting to accept that I will be alone for the rest of my life, and no girl will ever see anything attractive in me in the way they do with other guys.

You want to know the worst part? I've never got past the kissing stage with a girl. I lost my virginity to a 35-year old escort last year.

PS. Cue neg reps! Haters gonna hate - but you will never understand.

...

also I have to agree with masterfoulproof 2 posts above mine...

I personally hate it when men seem to act like I can do no wrong- it either means they're stupid and don't understand me, or they're going to find out I'm not all that and be pissed off at me... (both has occured)

respecting women means holding them to a high standard and expecting they can meet it (same with men really...) think critically about someone- are you a good judge of people's character? part of that initial being taken with a girl is that its superficial- nothing wrong with that, but girls can see right through you if you are just basing your desire on her physical appearance and charm

At least you took action. It might help a little.

But your problem is right here "It's not my personality as many girls have told me I'm really sweet and special to them."

It IS your personality. You are obsessing about this. To the degree of preparing like a white knight should. This shows you are afraid of the process. You are DESPERATE and DATELESS and THEY KNOW IT.

Sad to say, nothing else matters.

Girls won't "realize what they missed out on." There are no scales of justice in this matter. Evolution is NOT FAIR.

Girls will tell you you're a "great guy" "great friend" "make some lucky girl a great [whipping post] one day..." etc. etc. Or they'll just avoid you as much as possible which is what's happening on FB it seems.

It is cruel to you because you believe them at face value, not in the instinctive, comforting way they intend these white lies to be read.

Fact: if they don't want you - OTHER GIRLS DON'T EITHER.

FWIW I remember feeling a little like that, aeons ago. Then I took the bull by the horns and followed my own path. It requires a radical rethink and some serious chutzpah becayse you're going to have to run uphill against a lot of hypocrisy. But it's totally worth it.

You say: "It's not my attitude or appearance, as I try my best to come over as smooth, I take care of myself and I treat girls with the utmost respect.

No, you don't. You expect them to be naive enough to believe the manufactured "you" with the romantic playbook in hand.

Get real, dude. I get women because they know I respect them. That means, not that I believe or spout any hypocrisy about romance...as you should know by now.

They respect me because I treat them as women who know their minds. They know I call them on their BS, they can't manipulate me, and I can f- the s- out of them. They can't pull the control freakery...because I have other mistresses. The girls just knowing this means I don't get 95% of the bs that I read about here and that you're experiencing now.

You don't. Be a man. Grow some balls. Do your own thing and stop trying to be "smooth" and "sweet." Treat women as women, with all their flaws and beauty, and enjoy them.

Edit to add: the first step is to cultivate a real skill. A deep, professional skill. It doesn't matter what - even nerdy things can work. Girls want a guy who KNOWS things, not in his own mind, but as validated by other experts. That gives him status in their eyes. It's quite similar to the concept of girls wanting men that other girls "have" and not so much caring about what, or why, they are attractive. You will gain confidence in multiple spheres and it will show.

also I have to agree with masterfoulproof 2 posts above mine...

I personally hate it when men seem to act like I can do no wrong- it either means they're stupid and don't understand me, or they're going to find out I'm not all that and be pissed off at me... (both has occured)

respecting women means holding them to a high standard and expecting they can meet it (same with men really...) think critically about someone- are you a good judge of people's character? part of that initial being taken with a girl is that its superficial- nothing wrong with that, but girls can see right through you if you are just basing your desire on her physical appearance and charm

hennessy, be careful...agreeing with me in public sentences you to the stocks!
Hahaha!