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Original post by pmc:producer
What age are you if you don't mind me asking?
Superficial arguments like your are what's damaging. The guy will be perfectly fine. There are plenty of 'ugly' people out there with girlfriends/boyfriends and there are plenty of men shorter than 5ft with girlfriends/wives. There is more to 'attraction' that looks believe it or not, hence why I ask what age you are. If you're a 16 year old then I don't expect you to understand this, if you're older I'm surprised at how narrow minded you are and worry that people like you are aspiring to go to university.
Believe it or not, there are also happily married mentally/psychically disabled people - including paraplegics, and blind people, and morbidly obese people... How did these people manage that? I wonder.
Also, what is with these statements of yours? "Women only care about a good body if you are good looking", "Women have always wanted men taller than themselves"? I'm finding you hard to take seriously when you write stuff like this. How would you know what the majority of woman want? Or have always wanted? Are you a woman? Have you asked every woman (or even every woman you know) what type of guy they prefer? Of course you haven't. If you're going to make wild statements, try to include a bit of truth in them and not base them on 'I'm a wee boy and this is what my previous three relationships have told me'.
Hopefully the OP can tell people like you are hard to come by in the real world (instead, they wait until they're anonymous on an internet forum) and that people generally aren't that bad.
Poor show from you.
Superficial arguments like your are what's damaging. The guy will be perfectly fine. There are plenty of 'ugly' people out there with girlfriends/boyfriends and there are plenty of men shorter than 5ft with girlfriends/wives. There is more to 'attraction' that looks believe it or not, hence why I ask what age you are. If you're a 16 year old then I don't expect you to understand this, if you're older I'm surprised at how narrow minded you are and worry that people like you are aspiring to go to university.
Believe it or not, there are also happily married mentally/psychically disabled people - including paraplegics, and blind people, and morbidly obese people... How did these people manage that? I wonder.
Also, what is with these statements of yours? "Women only care about a good body if you are good looking", "Women have always wanted men taller than themselves"? I'm finding you hard to take seriously when you write stuff like this. How would you know what the majority of woman want? Or have always wanted? Are you a woman? Have you asked every woman (or even every woman you know) what type of guy they prefer? Of course you haven't. If you're going to make wild statements, try to include a bit of truth in them and not base them on 'I'm a wee boy and this is what my previous three relationships have told me'.
Hopefully the OP can tell people like you are hard to come by in the real world (instead, they wait until they're anonymous on an internet forum) and that people generally aren't that bad.
Poor show from you.
hey there I'm really sorry you feel this way and I'm so sorry that theres *******s on here who think that height/looks are the most important features of a man have decided to comment. I'm sorry but there are plenty of people out there who are smaller than you, less attractive than you etc and probably don't let that bother them. Equally I'm sure that there are plenty of people who are disabled or deformed and go on with life. Honestly looks are not even in the top ten things I would personally consider as being important. I am five foot 2 and my partner is 5 foot 6 and my mother used to constantly say cruel things about his looks etc. People like that can be very damaging. I think you sound like a lovely person who needs to have more confidence in himself. Being five foot is not 'absolutely dreadful for any man'. I would say being wheelchair bound is absolutely dreadful, or having a severe illness is absolutely dreadful. There is nothing wrong with your height. People are so cruel and that is unfortunately the society we live in. I'm sure that if the people who are telling you to 'pull yourself together' felt the way you felt, then they would not be saying these things.
Although I am a 19 year old girl I can understand how you feel as I suffer from anxiety and take medication for it. It is a terrible illness which unfortunately a lot of people cannot understand.
Maybe you are just surrounding yourself with the wrong people? I respect you for saying what you have on here.
PS WHY DO YOU THINK YOU NEED A 'SKINNY' GIRL
Although I am a 19 year old girl I can understand how you feel as I suffer from anxiety and take medication for it. It is a terrible illness which unfortunately a lot of people cannot understand.
Maybe you are just surrounding yourself with the wrong people? I respect you for saying what you have on here.
PS WHY DO YOU THINK YOU NEED A 'SKINNY' GIRL
Original post by Bassetts
Women want taller men. It's a fact of life, just like the sky is blue and the grass is green. You're very naïve to think looks and height don't matter. They're HUGELY important.
Shut up you shallow idiot
Original post by johnsonn
I don't know what to do. short, fat and ugly a failure as a man.
Apart from get a cat....
I don't know what to do. short, fat and ugly a failure as a man.
Apart from get a cat....
I can't sympathise regarding height, being the tall stallion that i am. But you can certainly lose the weight if you just tried. As for being a failure? That's really a result of your own doings as well.
Go see a doctor OP.
Original post by Bassetts
Women want taller men. It's a fact of life, just like the sky is blue and the grass is green. You're very naïve to think looks and height don't matter. They're HUGELY important.
It's a fact of life is it? I'm naive, yet you just told me that woman wanting taller men is as constant as the sky is blue and the grass is green. I can assure you this is not that case.
You talk like someone who's still at school with little to no experience. Of course looks are important to a degree... But again, being short isn't 'ugly' and one mans 'ugly' is another mans attractive. It really is as simple.
I go back to my initial point; why are people from the following categories (men) married/in relationships if the world only wants 'perfect' people: extremely fat/skinny, burn victims, midgets, disabled people, people with missing limbs, mentally challenged people etc.
*sigh* Threads like this make me feel so guilty for being tall and good looking...
On a serious note, as people have suggested mate, gym time. Being that you're small, you'll start to look muscular quickly. If your body is that good, it'll take unwanted attention away from your lack of facial aesthetics.
On a serious note, as people have suggested mate, gym time. Being that you're small, you'll start to look muscular quickly. If your body is that good, it'll take unwanted attention away from your lack of facial aesthetics.
Original post by pmc:producer
You totally missed the point, and remember the golden rule - if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. It works a treat.
Lies, lies, lies. You know nothing about relationships if you think being 'unattractive' (which is purely subjective) and 5ft tall are the deciding factors when entering in to a relationship - for some they may, but does the OPreally want a girlfriend who's that shallow?
Spot on advice. There really isn't much more that can be said on this forum that will trump this.
OP - you've picked the wrong place to come for the type of advice you need. A lot of people (not quite the majority) I've came across on here live in a fantasy world of University league tables. They don't have life experience (with most of them are still in high school with their only worry being what A-Levels will get them an interview at Oxbridge).
You need professional help - which isn't a bad thing and shouldn't be looked at as such. Your height or looks aren't important - people with dwarfism (I know, I know, not very PC!) get married and live a happy life! And what's unattractive to one person may be attractive to another. Besides, your opinion on yourself stems from your low self-esteem/confidence/awareness issues - sort the emotional stuff out and the rest will fall in to place.
EDIT: Good luck!
Lies, lies, lies. You know nothing about relationships if you think being 'unattractive' (which is purely subjective) and 5ft tall are the deciding factors when entering in to a relationship - for some they may, but does the OPreally want a girlfriend who's that shallow?
Spot on advice. There really isn't much more that can be said on this forum that will trump this.
OP - you've picked the wrong place to come for the type of advice you need. A lot of people (not quite the majority) I've came across on here live in a fantasy world of University league tables. They don't have life experience (with most of them are still in high school with their only worry being what A-Levels will get them an interview at Oxbridge).
You need professional help - which isn't a bad thing and shouldn't be looked at as such. Your height or looks aren't important - people with dwarfism (I know, I know, not very PC!) get married and live a happy life! And what's unattractive to one person may be attractive to another. Besides, your opinion on yourself stems from your low self-esteem/confidence/awareness issues - sort the emotional stuff out and the rest will fall in to place.
EDIT: Good luck!
^ I second this (and Toaster Leavings' post, referenced in the above).
TSR is not a great place for realistic relationship advice, so try not to let any of the condemning replies here hurt you.
I understand you've had some bad experiences with meds, but in my eyes something like CBT would be much more beneficial. Get yourself to the GP and straight up ask to be referred for an assessment. You need to develop confidence in yourself, and much as I know you don't want to hear it, that is not going to be derived from getting someone else to fancy or love you (in the long-term, anyway).
Original post by the bear
there are many not-so-tall-guys who are successful with the ladies:
Berny Ecclestone the Motor Racing chap
Paul Daniels the millionaire magician
Tom Cruise the actor
to mention just a few...
Berny Ecclestone the Motor Racing chap
Paul Daniels the millionaire magician
Tom Cruise the actor
to mention just a few...
I get the idea that you're trying to imply something with these examples.
Original post by Aivicore
^ I second this (and Toaster Leavings' post, referenced in the above).
TSR is not a great place for realistic relationship advice, so try not to let any of the condemning replies here hurt you.
I understand you've had some bad experiences with meds, but in my eyes something like CBT would be much more beneficial. Get yourself to the GP and straight up ask to be referred for an assessment. You need to develop confidence in yourself, and much as I know you don't want to hear it, that is not going to be derived from getting someone else to fancy or love you (in the long-term, anyway).
TSR is not a great place for realistic relationship advice, so try not to let any of the condemning replies here hurt you.
I understand you've had some bad experiences with meds, but in my eyes something like CBT would be much more beneficial. Get yourself to the GP and straight up ask to be referred for an assessment. You need to develop confidence in yourself, and much as I know you don't want to hear it, that is not going to be derived from getting someone else to fancy or love you (in the long-term, anyway).
Thirded, OP. Your lack of confidence and negative attitude are gonna be a much bigger problem than your height and looks
Original post by pmc:producer
Superficial arguments like your are what's damaging. The guy will be perfectly fine. There are plenty of 'ugly' people out there with girlfriends/boyfriends and there are plenty of men shorter than 5ft with girlfriends/wives. There is more to 'attraction' that looks believe it or not, hence why I ask what age you are. If you're a 16 year old then I don't expect you to understand this, if you're older I'm surprised at how narrow minded you are and worry that people like you are aspiring to go to university.
Believe it or not, there are also happily married mentally/psychically disabled people - including paraplegics, and blind people, and morbidly obese people... How did these people manage that? I wonder.
Also, what is with these statements of yours? "Women only care about a good body if you are good looking", "Women have always wanted men taller than themselves"? I'm finding you hard to take seriously when you write stuff like this. How would you know what the majority of woman want? Or have always wanted? Are you a woman? Have you asked every woman (or even every woman you know) what type of guy they prefer? Of course you haven't. If you're going to make wild statements, try to include a bit of truth in them and not base them on 'I'm a wee boy and this is what my previous three relationships have told me'.
Hopefully the OP can tell people like you are hard to come by in the real world (instead, they wait until they're anonymous on an internet forum) and that people generally aren't that bad.
Poor show from you.
Superficial arguments like your are what's damaging. The guy will be perfectly fine. There are plenty of 'ugly' people out there with girlfriends/boyfriends and there are plenty of men shorter than 5ft with girlfriends/wives. There is more to 'attraction' that looks believe it or not, hence why I ask what age you are. If you're a 16 year old then I don't expect you to understand this, if you're older I'm surprised at how narrow minded you are and worry that people like you are aspiring to go to university.
Believe it or not, there are also happily married mentally/psychically disabled people - including paraplegics, and blind people, and morbidly obese people... How did these people manage that? I wonder.
Also, what is with these statements of yours? "Women only care about a good body if you are good looking", "Women have always wanted men taller than themselves"? I'm finding you hard to take seriously when you write stuff like this. How would you know what the majority of woman want? Or have always wanted? Are you a woman? Have you asked every woman (or even every woman you know) what type of guy they prefer? Of course you haven't. If you're going to make wild statements, try to include a bit of truth in them and not base them on 'I'm a wee boy and this is what my previous three relationships have told me'.
Hopefully the OP can tell people like you are hard to come by in the real world (instead, they wait until they're anonymous on an internet forum) and that people generally aren't that bad.
Poor show from you.
In general, you are sort of right in that there are plenty of "ugly" people in relationships.
But seriously, the OP is a 5ft male. It is unimaginable how significant a problem that is. Everyone knows that girls want a taller guy, they admit it themselves. Being 5ft will rule out 99% of the female population.
Original post by Anonymous
In general, you are sort of right in that there are plenty of "ugly" people in relationships.
But seriously, the OP is a 5ft male. It is unimaginable how significant a problem that is. Everyone knows that girls want a taller guy, they admit it themselves. Being 5ft will rule out 99% of the female population.
But seriously, the OP is a 5ft male. It is unimaginable how significant a problem that is. Everyone knows that girls want a taller guy, they admit it themselves. Being 5ft will rule out 99% of the female population.
Is 5ft really that small? I'm touching 6ft, my girlfriend is 5'2" and I honestly don't think she's that small. You're acting like the guy will be up to a girls waistline. In reality he won't be far off her size - and that's beside the point, it's not all about height. Jeez.
Also 99% of woman won't go near a guy that's 5ft tall? Very specific stats. And unfounded.
Original post by johnsonn
Title says it...
Being single is just a normal part of life, just as much as having no self esteem and no self worth, just as much as no girl wanting to kiss you, touch you, or spend time with you...
That to me is life, just deal with it. that's normal, everyone has to put up with ****, this is my ****...
No matter who you go to for help, they always have an opinion. That opinion seams so fake unreal, and almost so offensive because it come from someone who has been fulfilled sexually, emotionally, at least had some sort of embrace of passion.
I used to love hanging out with girls I was raised by so many of them, now. It puts me on edge to be around them unless I'm inebriated in one sense or another. When I can feel free.
Otherwise I hate they way I feel around them, it puts me on edge I feel like I have to constantly be on guard like I'm a business selling its only product and it's either sink or swim... It seams so trivial to you though. What I hate most about me is why is passion embedded so deep in me. I wish I could cut it out get rid of it and live a normal life, but my head is programmed to think this way.
I'm meant to be a man yet I can't go out and get the one thing that my brain is craving, that my hormones crave, that my DNA is telling me to get... I have to suppress all that. It makes me feel like I'm in child in a sea of men, I have no chance. Which makes me feel undesired, unneeded, unwanted, a failure.
I could wait till I get older 30's get a steady job after my degree get a girlfriend, but there this voice in my head saying why couldn't I get a girl 5 yeas ago? is it because they could of done better then? Looks where better then, everyone looks better when they are younger, Is it because they where with guys better looking that me? I feel like I'm gonna be someone who just get left with the leftovers (It sounds vile to talk about a woman like that, I know but its the twisted way my brain thinks) You hear it, I deal with it. I wish I could cut sex/lust/passion/attraction/love out of my brain.
I hate the fact everyone can be so open about it, can run around and have sex so casually it feels like real star-crossed love is dead. But I can not comment. I don't know what love is. And at 27 this scares me the most as much as I don't think I can love properly. I have bad Anxiety, Panic Attacks and Night terrors which I'm almost 99% sure is due to being alone.
I have not been myself for such a long time I don't know what being myself feels like. I have been dead for a while, for so long I feel like I'm not real, because I'm not who I was. I haven't been who i was for 10 years.
I'm not depressed, I'm alone emotionally, physically and sexually. No pill that the doctor tries to prescribe me can fix that.
You really think that getting out more, socializing fixes this? Would socializing fix that fact I'm 5.0ft and unattractive? This feeling been there ever since my hormones switched on forcing me to feel something I can't express. I don't want to end up being one of them 60 year old desperate guy in Thailand going after young girls, I would rather slit my wrists but I feel that's the way I'm going. No one plans to be a drug addict, but bad **** just happens.
My friends don't know this, I am not gonna tell them, they can not replicate or synthesize this feeling. I'm always the one to listen to them and sympathize and be happy, to have fun with. I Would not want them to hear this about me.
I don't know what to do. short, fat and ugly a failure as a man. I couldn't pull a skinny girl in a tug of war, let alone get one to kiss me.
What should I do?
Apart from get a cat....
Being single is just a normal part of life, just as much as having no self esteem and no self worth, just as much as no girl wanting to kiss you, touch you, or spend time with you...
That to me is life, just deal with it. that's normal, everyone has to put up with ****, this is my ****...
No matter who you go to for help, they always have an opinion. That opinion seams so fake unreal, and almost so offensive because it come from someone who has been fulfilled sexually, emotionally, at least had some sort of embrace of passion.
I used to love hanging out with girls I was raised by so many of them, now. It puts me on edge to be around them unless I'm inebriated in one sense or another. When I can feel free.
Otherwise I hate they way I feel around them, it puts me on edge I feel like I have to constantly be on guard like I'm a business selling its only product and it's either sink or swim... It seams so trivial to you though. What I hate most about me is why is passion embedded so deep in me. I wish I could cut it out get rid of it and live a normal life, but my head is programmed to think this way.
I'm meant to be a man yet I can't go out and get the one thing that my brain is craving, that my hormones crave, that my DNA is telling me to get... I have to suppress all that. It makes me feel like I'm in child in a sea of men, I have no chance. Which makes me feel undesired, unneeded, unwanted, a failure.
I could wait till I get older 30's get a steady job after my degree get a girlfriend, but there this voice in my head saying why couldn't I get a girl 5 yeas ago? is it because they could of done better then? Looks where better then, everyone looks better when they are younger, Is it because they where with guys better looking that me? I feel like I'm gonna be someone who just get left with the leftovers (It sounds vile to talk about a woman like that, I know but its the twisted way my brain thinks) You hear it, I deal with it. I wish I could cut sex/lust/passion/attraction/love out of my brain.
I hate the fact everyone can be so open about it, can run around and have sex so casually it feels like real star-crossed love is dead. But I can not comment. I don't know what love is. And at 27 this scares me the most as much as I don't think I can love properly. I have bad Anxiety, Panic Attacks and Night terrors which I'm almost 99% sure is due to being alone.
I have not been myself for such a long time I don't know what being myself feels like. I have been dead for a while, for so long I feel like I'm not real, because I'm not who I was. I haven't been who i was for 10 years.
I'm not depressed, I'm alone emotionally, physically and sexually. No pill that the doctor tries to prescribe me can fix that.
You really think that getting out more, socializing fixes this? Would socializing fix that fact I'm 5.0ft and unattractive? This feeling been there ever since my hormones switched on forcing me to feel something I can't express. I don't want to end up being one of them 60 year old desperate guy in Thailand going after young girls, I would rather slit my wrists but I feel that's the way I'm going. No one plans to be a drug addict, but bad **** just happens.
My friends don't know this, I am not gonna tell them, they can not replicate or synthesize this feeling. I'm always the one to listen to them and sympathize and be happy, to have fun with. I Would not want them to hear this about me.
I don't know what to do. short, fat and ugly a failure as a man. I couldn't pull a skinny girl in a tug of war, let alone get one to kiss me.
What should I do?
Apart from get a cat....
Renounce your desires and become one with noneness.
Original post by Arturo Bandini
Thirded, OP. Your lack of confidence and negative attitude are gonna be a much bigger problem than your height and looks
But OP is not 5'6 or 5'7. OP is 5 foot. 5 ****ing foot. No amount of confidence or positive attitude is going to help him attract women when he is THAT short. That is unfortunately the harsh reality for the OP. No I'm not saying this to be a dick. I'm saying it how it is.
OP can make lots of money and get women that way, but if he's intelligent enough to make lots of money, he will be intelligent enough to recognise that the women he attracts only love him for his bank balance.
No amount of words will help OP. He has to come to terms with his life and the awful situation he is in by himself. He must somehow find inner solitude/peace with himself and contentness in life. No one on TSR can help with that.
Original post by pmc:producer
It's a fact of life is it? I'm naive, yet you just told me that woman wanting taller men is as constant as the sky is blue and the grass is green. I can assure you this is not that case.
You talk like someone who's still at school with little to no experience. Of course looks are important to a degree... But again, being short isn't 'ugly' and one mans 'ugly' is another mans attractive. It really is as simple.
I go back to my initial point; why are people from the following categories (men) married/in relationships if the world only wants 'perfect' people: extremely fat/skinny, burn victims, midgets, disabled people, people with missing limbs, mentally challenged people etc.
You talk like someone who's still at school with little to no experience. Of course looks are important to a degree... But again, being short isn't 'ugly' and one mans 'ugly' is another mans attractive. It really is as simple.
I go back to my initial point; why are people from the following categories (men) married/in relationships if the world only wants 'perfect' people: extremely fat/skinny, burn victims, midgets, disabled people, people with missing limbs, mentally challenged people etc.
Original post by pmc:producer
Is 5ft really that small? I'm touching 6ft, my girlfriend is 5'2" and I honestly don't think she's that small. You're acting like the guy will be up to a girls waistline. In reality he won't be far off her size - and that's beside the point, it's not all about height. Jeez.
Also 99% of woman won't go near a guy that's 5ft tall? Very specific stats. And unfounded.
Also 99% of woman won't go near a guy that's 5ft tall? Very specific stats. And unfounded.
The vast majority of girls are taller than 5ft. The vast majority of girls do not want to go out with a guy who is smaller (just ask some if you don't believe me - I don't think that point is debateable).
By 99%, I essentially just meant, there are very very few girls who are shorter than 5ft.
I've even heard a girl say "I feel really sorry for guys 5ft2 or below." I asked why. And she said that guys that height wouldn't really be able to find a girlfriend, since they'd be too short.
Obviously, as you say, some people who are not attractive at all still find relationships, but it's going to make it far far more difficult.
And height/appearance obviously makes a huge difference (for both genders). So it's pretty disingenuous for some people to claim that it's all about confidence, and appearance doesn't matter. For both genders, I'd say appearance is by far the most important factor. If a girl has already ruled a guy out for being shorter than her, it doesn't matter how confident he is.
I wont tell you to get more confidence and whatever because i bet that is what everyone else is saying to you, instead why don't you try and learn to relax around girls, find a girl who you share interests with, and slowly you will become more comfortable around them, you need to push yourself out of your boundries, speaking as a girl i understand what you mean by fakeness, it annoys me but trust me there are nice girls out there, who aren't going to be two faced and just say what they think you want to say. In regards to people telling you to 'get your act together' and 'find someone' they dont understand what you're saying to them, so while sometimes you do need a stern voice telling you to man up, sometimes you need a nice soft touch to help you through everything, oh and also, you should get a cat anyway, because they're fun, and cute, and cuddly and, despite what many people think, they can be very good company
Why does the girl have to be skinny? 
You have been dealt a poor hand of cards to play with but the most damaging is your lack of self-worth. I found I gained the most confidence whilst working and volunteering so get yourself out there and put yourself in situations where you speak to people, different people-daily.
You mentioned that you find it difficult to be around women generally, see how you get on with them as friends first. You never know, a friendship can blossom into something more...
Your appearance can be improved, lose weight, get fitter and healthier and put a smile on your face. You aren't blessed in height and you can't change that, you can however work on the others things.
You have been dealt a poor hand of cards to play with but the most damaging is your lack of self-worth. I found I gained the most confidence whilst working and volunteering so get yourself out there and put yourself in situations where you speak to people, different people-daily.
You mentioned that you find it difficult to be around women generally, see how you get on with them as friends first. You never know, a friendship can blossom into something more...
Your appearance can be improved, lose weight, get fitter and healthier and put a smile on your face. You aren't blessed in height and you can't change that, you can however work on the others things.
Original post by PizzaCrusts
LOL
Just google "female hypergamy"
Just google "female hypergamy"
Social status is not to do with physical attractiveness which is only what I was talking about.
"Marrying up" the social step ladder probably stems from a primal instinct women have towards marrying those who can look after them/protect them. Thus wealthy men/men with steady jobs are more attractive than bums/with minimum wage jobs, as the perceived ability for them to look after and protect us is less.
I'm not saying this is true in all cases (as always there are shallow people who are exceptions).
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