Is my Dad convincing me I'm not normal?

Normal? If your dad cares that much about you being normal, then just get a job (oh, and move in with someone else, start life outside of your family which you obviously don't get along with)

I know this seems petty and yeah it's poorly written and seems pointless but I need to share this. Any thoughts are welcome. Please though, please read.


We were eating our dinner all five of us at the table, wet pie and hard peas and once we’d eaten my dad had to bring up my issues again. He was talking about my apparent OCD, saying how I need to go to the doctor’s and all that and do I recognise I’ve got a problem, and then my twenty-year old sister (who doesn’t normally eat with us) was asking questions and it went on a while and then my dad was like “show her your hands” and I raised my hands and she was like “what”. So I had to show her up close and my dad was like “look how dry and crusty they are what do you think” and my sister admitted they were somewhat dry but nothing extreme or “even that noticeable”.

And he’s like “how will he ever get a job if he can’t touch things” and I’m like “nah nah I can, yeah I wash my hands quite often but no overwhelmingly so, I haven’t got open wounds and they don’t stand out etc, and I’m literally fine with things you always say how I can’t touch things and all that but can’t give proof, like when I did work experience I drank out the old dirty woman’s mug after she used it without it being washed up” and he’s like “you can’t eat by people hahahahahaha” and I’m like “actually I can, I’ve literally just finished my meal at the same table as you and I eat at school every day. What I don’t like is you and (brother) purposely blowing on me when I eat, he did it last night he was stood there for ages looking at me and blowing because he thinks it’s funny when I shout at him not to. And I can eat with you, but for the last ages you’ve come in pulling faces and mocking me as if I’m being petty when I cover my dish when you’re stood less than a meter away blowing and wafting it just to get a reaction” and he’s like “nah”. So then I say “you can’t claim to be seriously concerned about my issues and then go and mock me on them, taking the piss and lying” and he frowns at that, then says “haha he’s denying them again!”

And then my dad was like “he washes his hands always but can’t touch the towel to dry them! haha” and I’m like “utter bull****” and basically we argue for ages about it with me basically saying all of his examples of my OCD are completely over-the-top and objectively some of them are made up, “can’t touch the towel” and I’m like what because I can touch the towel and that was a lie, eventually it got to the point where he said he never said I couldn’t touch the towel and me and my sister were like “you literally did say that though” and well basically he denied it and said that another one of my issues is that I never understand what people have said, despite my sister hearing him say it too.

So then he talks about what happened last night, saying how I was disgusted at how we keep our shower towels in the same drawer. Apparently I said it like “ooh all these dirty towels ooh what will I do we dry our bums with them and then put them all together in a tight space” or some ****, he was fully making a big deal out of it. Though the way it happened, actually, was me (bear in mind using my towel from out that very drawer with expression of disgust) saying “my towels already wet man ‘cause it’s in the drawer with all the other used ones” and him then joking “yeah well use all of them to dry my arse ha. Ha”. So again I accuse him of twisting my words and just outright lying, and that it’s hard for me to acknowledge of got a problem when he can’t genuinely tell me what my issues are without talking ****e and laughing at me. So I said “dad fam you always hear a word and make up a whole story about me based on that word and I genuinely can’t tell if you misremember and believe it or if you’re trying to be funny” and my sister agreed with me there.

Last week my dad and I went to the farm shop and brought some nice apples then took the dog for a walk, I said something about how it’s unfortunate we can’t wash them because they probably still have pesticides on them. That’s literally all I said, but he was all like “we’ll get to the woods and you’ll start crawling up a tree like an aphid and shrivel up bahahahahaha”. Anyway I brush the dirt off the apple (no more excessively than my dad) and eat it.

But of course, this also made its way into the conversation. I’m sat at the far end of the table, my sister opposite, my mom and brother over by the sink and my dad kind of behind my sister a bit. He starts talking about this apple, and then says “he was blarting about how it was all dirty and how everyone in the shop has touched it so he couldn’t eat it” and I’m like “dad it’s really confusing me now because I said if I genuinely have a problem then I want you to talk to me about it but everything you’re saying is literally a lie” and he was like “hahaha he couldn’t eat it!!” and I attempt to explain to my sister because by now she’s looking confused too and then I say to my dad “dad okay imagine we’re at the doctor’s already and they want to know what my problems are and you have to explain, they want someone to tell it how it is instead of exaggerating and outright lying in an attempt to get them to believe you” and he’s just laughing and I’m fed up now “he’s lying he’s defensive about his issues!!” and he starts laughing some more and telling my sister how I can’t acknowledge my problems and that and I’m still trying to explain the apple thing to her again. But then he looks at me, and says jokingly at first “haha you can’t acknowledge the problem so you deny it by calling me a liar, but you’re just denying it and lying and giving us BULLSHT you BASTARD” and on the word bastard he’s bloody coming towards me looking really pissed off and I’m in shock because he just suddenly flipped and I couldn’t understand why and my mom’s like “no don’t” and he’s red and like “UGH GET AWAY GO ON PISS OFF” and he’s bloody pacing at me now to the right of the table so I calmly but quickly get to the left and exit the room, while I’m in the hallway I hear “DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT” and my sister like “what” and he’s like “HE’S A BLOODY LIAR DON’T LOOK AT ME AS IF I’M A BAD PARENT” and my mom’s like “no” again and I’m at the top of my stairs now and I hear kefuffle and it sounds like my dad chasing my sister and she’s like “get off me! Eek” and he’s slurring some more **** about me again and his parenting etc and I go in my room and my sister escapes and she’s in the bathroom sobbing. I’m pretty cool like, somewhat hot flight or fight ya know and I’m pissed off at my dad for trying to convince my sister and me that I have an issue purely by spreading lies, and I’m really confused too by him, but I can deal like there’s no real upset in me (almost got upset remembering him trying to convince my extended family in a caravan that I’m not quite normal when I was like ten years old and crying infront of him because he was taking the piss but I didn’t linger on that thought).

Anyway though, couple of minutes later after he’s stopped rambling my mom (who wasn’t really part of the conversation anyway) was like “they need to respect you more or he’ll get kicked out!” and I sighed humorously at that because she always takes that approach whenever he’s mad and I didn’t do anything wrong. But yeah about a minute after that I hear my dad’s bellowing laugh “bahahahaha!!!” and then as always my fourteen year old brother joins in “hahahaha!!” and they have a good chuckle about how I’m in denial and all of that and my dad’s like” hahaaha no but I don’t know why he’s lying if he doesn’t want help then fine”. More laughs.




tl;dr

dad trying to convince sister I've got OCD basically by lying, then gets really rather quite pissed off because apparently I'm lying. He then says again that I'm trying to make out he's a bad parent, and that if I don't want help then fine. Then laughs about it downstairs as if he didn't completely flip out aggressively. Says I'm a liar. Unappreciative. Mother says loudly we need to appreciate them more. Sister is upset. I'm confused and pissed at his lies but mostly a smiling to myself. Basically it really. No violence, but would've been had I not moved in time, though there was some kerfuffle in the hallway with dad and sister but I doubt he did much to her.

Reading what you've said, some of what your dad does is pretty funny.

I don't really understand his behaviour based on your description bit I know that when I was young, I often didn't really understand why my dad did the things he did. As I've gotten older, I start to understand and appreciate him more and more.

Fathers can be difficult to deal with. But ultimately he has a harder time handling his family than you have handling him. Don't listen to the fool talking about abuse. He loves you and provides for you and cares about you. Nobody is perfect, though.

so what you're saying is you know my dad better than me and you were also there to objectively witness his behaviour right?

If you respond to others saying unobjectionable things as aggressively as you've responded to me, I can see why your father teases you.

Don't be silly, you were claiming to know more about my dad than I do, despite you never having met him or being present at the time of the argument.

Do you want advice or not then? Lol

Posted from TSR Mobile

I want advice, not foolish claims.

So you basically want people to tell you what you want to hear. Anything else is clearly wrong.

no I don't want people telling me they know more about the argument than I do. Did you not see his reply? He was talking as though he knows what my dad's like, because clearly he shares the same father as I do and knows exactly what he's like. I wanted advice, and instead I got that. Don't be such a fool and try to make me look like I'm being narrow-minded and unable to listen to the truth you rude little twathead what the **** is wrong with you "oh you just want sympathy when he's trying to give it to you straight" like did you not even read what he said? Did you even read what I said? ****head.

no I don't want people telling me they know more about the argument than I do. Did you not see his reply? He was talking as though he knows what my dad's like, because clearly he shares the same father as I do and knows exactly what he's like. I wanted advice, and instead I got that. Don't be such a fool and try to make me look like I'm being narrow-minded and unable to listen to the truth you rude little twathead what the **** is wrong with you "oh you just want sympathy when he's trying to give it to you straight" like did you not even read what he said? Did you even read what I said? ****head.

Yes, I did read it - and it was a perfectly reasonable, measured response to your original post. Now, if you're going by the logic that only people who know your Dad are allowed to give advice, how the hell is anyone on an internet forum supposed to give you advice?! Stop being so rude, too. That's probably part of your problem.

You should listen to your Dad, he only has your best interests at heart. I wish I had listened to my parents more when I was young. I would have avoided a lot of mistakes.