The Student Room Group

How on earth do you not cheat?

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Reply 20
Original post by qasim-98
In my opinion, You wouldn't want to lose the person that meant everything to you, even looking at other girls wouldn't interest you, just because of the fact you are with the person that steps way above everyone else.


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Original post by sameehaiqbal
Because I would love the person im with so much i wouldnt want to be with anyone else.


You guys are young and idealistic, that's why you say stuff like this.

The feeling of love as you are describing its great yes, but it doesnt last forever....it apparently doesnt even typically last 10 years given the divorce rate we have in this country (in other cultures outside the west, marriage is of a more arranged/transactional nature, so love is even less of a consideration there).

I suggested cheating initially because like you, most people subscribe to monogamy and would not be able to cope psychologically with the propsect of a more polyamorous relationship.

But I'm not even necessarily suggesting cheating per se as a necessity, but saying that I really cannot understand how people can go years on end, let alone their whole lives sexually involved with just one person. I understand why some couples do swinging, because why would you want to live your life doing the same old thing day in day out.
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 21
Original post by banoffeee
Others don't feel that love for that one person and don't care about the promise they've made. They use the philosophy `what they don't know won't harm them`because they're sick individuals with no morals.
Over an 80/90 year lifespan life will present most people with a number of opportunities - surely its more a sign of sickness and moral poverty to not pursue these opportunities and enjoy your life to the fullest, than to live a dull, repressed life doing the same thing day in and day out?
If that's the life you want to lead, just stay single and bang random girls. The point is you're in a relationship because you want to be and part of that is loyalty.
Falling in love is inevitable, staying in love is optional.


--- love, or in that matter, lust

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Reply 24
Original post by Esoteric-
Seriously boggles my mind how people manage to remain faithful to one person for years on end, especially if you're a man - we are biologically programmed to bone everything we can.


Because I'm not "biologically programmed" to do that?
Original post by banoffeee
Are you a guy?


Yes. Yes I am.
Original post by Esoteric-
You guys are young and idealistic, that's why you say stuff like this.

The feeling of love as you are describing its great yes, but it doesnt last forever....it apparently doesnt even typically last 10 years given the divorce rate we have in this country (in other cultures outside the west, marriage is of a more arranged/transactional nature, so love is even less of a consideration there).

I suggested cheating initially because like you, most people subscribe to monogamy and would not be able to cope psychologically with the propsect of a more polyamorous relationship.

But I'm not even necessarily suggesting cheating per se as a necessity, but saying that I really cannot understand how people can go years on end, let alone their whole lives sexually involved with just one person. I understand why some couples do swinging, because why would you want to live your life doing the same old thing day in day out.


My mum married my dad when she was 16 and she loved him. They were married for 34 years before my dad passed away and I cannot describe to you how much my dad loved my mum and vice versa. He would come home everyday from work and give my mum a kiss, even if he had the worst day in the world. He would gift her regularly and give her flowers and take her out all the time. Now, im not saying they didnt have arguments, what couple doesnt? But my parents did love each other for all those years. I think the people who cheat are disgusting and disrespectful. Why not just break the relationship off? There is no excuse for cheating and you, the OP, may want to go around banging women/men while you are in a relationship but I dont want to do that. I agree that not all relationships are like my parents and people lose feelings but cant they do it the right way instead of cheating on their partner who really loved them? Anyway all im trying to say is that there are actually loyal and faithful people in the world who would enjoy committing themselves to their partner and staying loyal rather than ****ing other people.
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Esoteric-
Seriously boggles my mind how people manage to remain faithful to one person for years on end, especially if you're a man - we are biologically programmed to bone everything we can.

Like take marriage, how on earth do you stay monogamous for your whole life? Potentially you could end up having sex with just one person for the next 60 years or whatever.

You only have one life to live - why do people restrict themselves to only eating one flavour of pie?

Monogamy just seems like willful slavery to me!


It's easy if you actually have some degree of morality and self control...
Reply 28
Original post by Esoteric-
Seriously boggles my mind how people manage to remain faithful to one person for years on end, especially if you're a man - we are biologically programmed to bone everything we can.

Like take marriage, how on earth do you stay monogamous for your whole life? Potentially you could end up having sex with just one person for the next 60 years or whatever.

You only have one life to live - why do people restrict themselves to only eating one flavour of pie?

Monogamy just seems like willful slavery to me!


Wow - this is not my experience at all. I guess that's how people do it - they don't see it as restricting in the way you do. You don't sound like you could do monogamy, that's fine I guess. It's very easy for a lot of people though.
Monogamy is dead.
Original post by Esoteric-
You guys are young and idealistic, that's why you say stuff like this.

The feeling of love as you are describing its great yes, but it doesnt last forever....it apparently doesnt even typically last 10 years given the divorce rate we have in this country (in other cultures outside the west, marriage is of a more arranged/transactional nature, so love is even less of a consideration there).

I suggested cheating initially because like you, most people subscribe to monogamy and would not be able to cope psychologically with the propsect of a more polyamorous relationship.

But I'm not even necessarily suggesting cheating per se as a necessity, but saying that I really cannot understand how people can go years on end, let alone their whole lives sexually involved with just one person. I understand why some couples do swinging, because why would you want to live your life doing the same old thing day in day out.


Nah, if I married someone I loved then there is no way I would risk losing them. Maybe because I've got respect for myself and also for the woman I marry. Plus my conscience would probably eat me alive if I did something like that. It's not because I'm young, it's just because I've been raised properly, and the men and women in my family don't go off to have affairs behind closed doors, because they know of the greater consequences.


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Humans, including men, are programmed to be monogamous. We evolved that way. Men needed to protect and provide for their children. They cant do that if his children are from many mothers
Relationships arent just about sex..
Life is not all about sex you know. There's nothing wrong with sticking with one person you love for life than multiple people you feel nothing for and are likely to catch an STD from. Will sleeping around be worth it then?

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Original post by Esoteric-
Over an 80/90 year lifespan life will present most people with a number of opportunities - surely its more a sign of sickness and moral poverty to not pursue these opportunities and enjoy your life to the fullest, than to live a dull, repressed life doing the same thing day in and day out?


Wow, you must've had some crappy relationships to say that having just one person for the rest of your life is boring.

So, according to you, sleeping with someone else is an opportunity? Now THAT'S moral poverty, in my opinion.

If you're with the right person, no day will seem dull. Can you please explain who made you so skeptic?
Original post by Esoteric-
Seriously boggles my mind how people manage to remain faithful to one person for years on end, especially if you're a man - we are biologically programmed to bone everything we can.

Like take marriage, how on earth do you stay monogamous for your whole life? Potentially you could end up having sex with just one person for the next 60 years or whatever.

You only have one life to live - why do people restrict themselves to only eating one flavour of pie?

Monogamy just seems like willful slavery to me!


Im female and feel the same. After pulling one guy I also wonder if i could get better, subconciously look around and start getting attracted to other men. Its just in my physiological make up, its in our biology to be diverse with out genes and keep striving to get the best we can.
The irony when the op calls western women sluts and disloyal, then makes this thread :rolleyes:
Original post by samzy21
Life is not all about sex you know. There's nothing wrong with sticking with one person you love for life than multiple people you feel nothing for and are likely to catch an STD from. Will sleeping around be worth it then?

Posted from TSR Mobile


Exactly, plus as he gets older all the quality women who he could make good relationships with will be gone/married off. It will also get harder and harder to find attractive women to sleep with.
There are different types of love. Yes that fluttery honeymoon feeling is sometimes love of some form, but I think love is a choice. Love is sticking with someone through the bad times. And realising that it's natural that you may 'get bored' or find attraction in others, but that the person you're with isn't worth losing and that grass isn't greener on the other side.

There's nothing wrong with being polygamous but to say that people are young and idealistic is stupid. You won't get very far in life without optimism and idealism. But you do have to be prepared for things to go wrong.

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