What should I do?

I am a mid 20 single female. I really want to start dating.

I know that everyone says you should love yourself before you love someone else but honestly, I'm never gonna reach that level and I don't think it's entirely fair to wait until you've ~self-actualised~ or whatever before you start dating - but I do have a conundrum.

First of all, I hate dating apps. Not that I don't understand that they can work or anything, but purely because:

1) I don't take selfies or pictures of myself due to crippling insecurity due to being kinda ugly lol
2) I hate talking about myself and (in Bumble's case) I cannot start conversations
3) I feel bad swiping, like legitimately - I get so much anxiety if I match someone and just kinda freeze.

Secondly, I live alone in a new city, don't have any friends in the area, can't really see myself going out to bars/pubs on my own because it just doesn't feel safe, and since I am a full-time student socialising beyond nights out just doesn't seem entirely feasible.

I am introverted (no shot) but I can and have been conversational with strangers who have approached me or that I have approached so am I just.. Hopeless until I swallow my self-loathing and just use the apps?? Hope that some guy approaches me on a whim when I am out and about which seems so unlikely given how society is? Be alone for the foreseeable future? Stop being dramatic and suck it up and just get on with my life?

There's some real logic behind the "love yourself", philosophy.

If you truly loathe yourself, then it'll almost certainly sabotage any relationships. I've seen this happen, the person asks themselves, "Why on earth are they dating me when they could be with so and so?" It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy where they end up either pushing their partner away, or constantly in a state of paranoia and thinking they're cheating.

Be honest, have you actually tried liking (or at least tolerating) yourself? What are the reasons for your "self-loathing?" Do you actually know? Has it always existed, or was it triggered by a traumatic incident? I would seriously advise you to look to sorting that out first (get counselling, if necessary) and get those insecurities done & dusted. If it's any incentive, you'll make a MUCH BETTER girlfriend without all that excess baggage.

OK, so I've said it, but assuming you'll ignore all of the above, you can meet people in real life. Whilst you may be introvert, it seems you're OK if someone else starts the convo, which is good (it's the guys job to make that first move, so you're in a better position than your male equivalents). You've just got to put yourself in a situation where you're meeting and interacting with strangers. Doesn't matter if it's the pub / club... evening classes, joining a sports team or volunteering for something. Basically, the more times you put yourself in a situation where there are other people, the better your chances of meeting people.

I am a mid 20 single female. I really want to start dating.

I know that everyone says you should love yourself before you love someone else but honestly, I'm never gonna reach that level and I don't think it's entirely fair to wait until you've ~self-actualised~ or whatever before you start dating - but I do have a conundrum.

First of all, I hate dating apps. Not that I don't understand that they can work or anything, but purely because:

1) I don't take selfies or pictures of myself due to crippling insecurity due to being kinda ugly lol
2) I hate talking about myself and (in Bumble's case) I cannot start conversations
3) I feel bad swiping, like legitimately - I get so much anxiety if I match someone and just kinda freeze.

Secondly, I live alone in a new city, don't have any friends in the area, can't really see myself going out to bars/pubs on my own because it just doesn't feel safe, and since I am a full-time student socialising beyond nights out just doesn't seem entirely feasible.

I am introverted (no shot) but I can and have been conversational with strangers who have approached me or that I have approached so am I just.. Hopeless until I swallow my self-loathing and just use the apps?? Hope that some guy approaches me on a whim when I am out and about which seems so unlikely given how society is? Be alone for the foreseeable future? Stop being dramatic and suck it up and just get on with my life?