"Why can I not let go of this and justify his behaviour"
because you have seriously, SERIOUSLY low self-esteem. the man has brainwashed you completely to the point where you consider HIM to be the lesser of two evils. hes made you feel dependant on him and you probably are under the illusion that you are better off with a man who treats you like **** rather than have no man at all
First of all, thats the thing about brainwash - it genuinely makes you believe what you have been told and in order to overcome this you need to break past the control he has over your mind and regain your own thoughts. Let me help you:
Firstly - its complete BS what he is telling you - YOU WILL find love again!
But you won't be able to until you leave this idiot
Secondly - you ARE good enough for any man and in fact you are 10000x the person this 'man' is.
Now I need you to open your mind properly and let sink in everything you have told us about him.
He has ATTACKED you in public
He has ATTACKED your friend
He has CHEATED on you SEVERAL times
He has CRITICISED and MOCKED your body
He USES you
He CONTROLS you
He tells his friends he LOVES ANOTHER woman!!!
and when you broke up with him he CHEATED on you again, twice. Meaning he didn't care at all about you
He DISRESPECTS you on a daily basis. and you know he does
does this really sound like a boyfriend to you? is that really someone you - or anyone - should want to be with? Imagine reading what you told us from our point of view. Imagine your best friend, mother, sister, daughter said all the above, what would you advice be to them??
The advice you give to them is the advice you need to be following yourself. This is NOT a relationship. This man does NOT love you or care about you or even respect you. So why do you keep going back to someone like that?
Respect yourself. Dump him. Ignore all his calls and texts. Either get a new phone/number or every time he sends a message delete it without reading it. It will be tempting but force yourself to do it until you are used to it. Same applies with if he comes over. As someone says try going to your parents house or get your parent involved, as soon as they find out that a man beat their daughter trust me they will be ready to break his neck!