I think this sounds too much like a pity party and you have lost all perspective.
Its just a small hiccup and far too dramatic to start saying you are haunted.
Get some perspective you messed up a few exams and you failed to apply yourself. It seems the responsibility for that is yours and nobody else is to blame.
You dont really say what you did to get yourself kicked out and flunk your exams. Clearly you believe you have the potential.
You are only 19, so you just need a plan to consider what you want, to look at your options and then consider the best course of action for you to get yourself where you wish to go. If it were me I would.
1. Sort out my mental health, decide who I was, what I wanted and understand past events. If you are going off the rails then decide why? Is it really the death of a relative or are you just using that to hang other issues on? If you ahve other issues, then see your GP and get some therapy/ counseling.
2.Decide what it is you would really like to do either at university or as a career. You say animation or psychology. Do some research, see whats required. You can also see a careers adviser, talk to one on the phone or visit one locally.
https://nationalcareersservice.direct.gov.uk/aboutus/contactus/Pages/Contactus.aspxPsychology
https://nationalcareersservice.direct.gov.uk/advice/planning/jobprofiles/Pages/psychologist.aspxhttps://www.prospects.ac.uk/careers-advice/what-can-i-do-with-my-degree/psychologyAnimator
https://nationalcareersservice.direct.gov.uk/advice/planning/jobprofiles/Pages/animator.aspxhttps://www.prospects.ac.uk/job-profiles/animator3. Work out what qualifications you need and how to get there. There is a bit on education from the career profiles. They dont always require a degree.
4. Work out your options as to where you can study to give you the qualifications you need to move on. That could include:
Resit A levels, returning to college, doing an access course.
Is it really such a big deal to go and see your tutors and asking them if you can finish your course? You need to start growing up and making some adult decisions thats best for you. If you cnat do it then go and see an advisor at the SU who can ask on your behalf. Seems silly to throw awat 2 years work if thats whats standing in the way of you getting onto the course you want.
5. You may need to work out financing. You claim how bright you are and how much potential you have. If this is so, then you need to show it. That means knuckling down and taking the exams needed. You claim to hate education, but tbh lots of people dont like hard work or the stress associated, but they get on with it. If tiy wnat to do these things you say you are capable of then its up to you to get off your backside and apply yourself. Nobody else is interested, so stop feeling sorry for yourself and start dealing with things.
6. When you know what you wnat to do and where , plus you have arranged everything so the next phase is possible, then I think you need to speak to your parents and get them onbiard that you have had a big think, taken advice and you have a clear plan how to turn things around.
Then its just a case of going it. Two years will pass quickly. You will work hard, get good results to show everyone that you can achieve and then you will go off to Uni or wherever just like everyone else. A mere two years behind, which considering you are going to libe till 80, isnt a whole lot.
You only start to fail when you give up. You have your whole life in front of you. Look forward and decide what you want to do and how you will achieve it. You havent lost your legs, you dont have cancer, you just had some small setbacks. Everyone has them. Good luck