What do you think of male loners?

It's the worst at uni. That's for sure. I would rather stay in my room. There's better things to do than jam with people you don't like, so annoying. There's one guy who just waits for me to open my door so he can talk to me and now I basically avoid him like the plague.

Used to live with a disgusting lot that avoided playing bills and didn't want to clean the house and YET they wanted my acceptance.They'd knock on my door to talk or ask if I wanted to go out and I started to decline them without hesitation.I thought they'd get the reason I joined so many societies is because I HATED coming home to mess, noise and their false friendship.I miss talking to people with some depth :'(

Damn. Yeah, it's disgraceful when people you don't like try to gain your acceptance by annoying you even more. It's what happens, they don't get the point either, come on how obvious is it when you know you're annoying someone?

Hmmm I guess they think it's admirable. "Oh they're alone so we should keep them company and get them out of their shell."
If only we could all read minds
That's what I thought.Avoidance does usually mean you don't like something.
Now I think about it a lot of male loners are on my course.It can be kind of depressing since at Uni I'm quite a social person (as I was a late bloomer) and no one wants to plan events so we can meet up in a non educational environment.

Yeah I know quite a lot of male loners, but I have a group of friends, well a fairly large group like 20 people(around 10 are acquaintances/friends of friends while the other 10 are close mates). Although some people who seem to be male loners just have loads of friends outside so don't need more friends. I sit on my own in a lot of my lectures when I just want to sit by myself or if I don't see my friends there.

I can't talk to group of girls especially girl loners (crap confidence I know), they seem too work orientated for me to talk to them I think and I'm worried about how they're probably judging/laughing at me in their heads. Plus we never have enough time to actually have a convo., only have time at labs where I'm in a group so I can't really talk to random girls. It's weird. At uni I'm a social person too but I can't talk to girl loners to save my live unless I have to.

I'm used to having groups of friends in different places: societies and courses etc
But I haven't seen a lot of them due to quitting a few clubs.I understand I have a few friends who rarely go out with other course mates but have friends outside of Uni they go out with often.I still sit on my own I prefer it.Every year I seem to get close to people and every year I need to find my new "inner circle" I can just pop in and out of when I please.

HA HA! That's how I feel the same about the male loners! Most of the girls I know who are like that stick to a group.I can talk to male loners easily.Unless something develops that is! I think I prefer talking to boys....less drama.

THIS.
Thank you!
I'm at University at the moment and so many people I know hang out with people they don't even like as they're desperate for the social time!
I'd rather be alone then people call me rude or tell me I need to open up.
I think...they don't understand I don't like them.

Yeah I'm a lot like that as well haha. I have loads of friends in different places.
Although my circle changes quite a lot, partly because I don't like bothering people/being bothered too much.
My mates who start to talk to me all the time annoy me especially when there's nothing to actually talk about/do and they're wasting my alone time.

Yeah I knew girl loners stuck to a group, just assumed it. How do you get closer to girl loners as a boy?

Yep, it can get worse if you're in a relatively small university town. Everyone knows everyone, there isn't much to do and everyone is desperate to be in the 'in-crowd'. Everyone wants to be seen and be mr/mrs social on their Facebook. Living it up like life doesn't exist after graduation.

I don't want to pretend I like going to crap clubs and jumping around like an idiot in florecent fancy dress to music I can't stand such as rubbish RnB, Popstep and that LMAFO crap. That whole studenty vibe is not me. I'd rather chill and make music in my room sometimes. I have my real mates nearby anyway.

*Nod nod* It's always finding that balance.I hate it but I'm also guilty of such.Yeah I find too many people don't think about the other person before they go and talk to them about ..well anything! But then again you can't always be TOO considerate.

A ha.Now that I'm not sure I can help with....
Erm.Well with Loner guys most of the time we started chatting about work.As my course is computer based it's easy to see what's on people's screens and most people are alright with you disturbing them as long as the topic is work : Like asking them how they've built something...etc .From that I guess you work on common interests until you get to know each other.I don't know how easy that'll be for you as I don't know what you study then initiate something out of Uni like a coffee.

The other way I guess is just to met as many people as possible (ironic considering what we've discussed!) but I've encountered a few different guys with similar traits in totally different places and through different groups of friends.Maybe even just go to something you've never done before and talking to new people....you never know a friend of a friend might know a loner girl

I guess it depends if you're looking or if you have one in mind too. Because you could do some research before you talk to her.I had a situation were I asked people who knew the person I liked advice.

Sorry if this is a bit jumbled.My brain is kind of blah at this time of the morning!



HA! I don't think they think of the life after! I kinda got into that scene but now I'm like it's so overrated! I don't require this type of lifestyle to have fun.I have a few down to Earth people with me but most of the "home" friends are spread across the country (most are also at University).I have also become more homesick recently as I just get bored.

Male loners are just boring. Who wants to be in relationship with someone who is antisocial and has no friends?

Other loners, a shame you think they are weird!

Lol so James Bond is boring?

Good luck finding someone who meets your standards.

A ridiculous ego, annoying smarminess, sexist attitude and reckless endangerment of himself and others are also not traits I look for in a man strangely enough. Using a fictional character to illustrate your point doesnt prove a lot either.

Generally I find people that avoid others company a bit odd. A lot of people who dont have friends dont have friends for reasons other than choice, and theres no way of knowing that reason without getting to know that person. Taking the time to bother with them is risking becoming aquanted with someone socially inept and frankly very weird. And then you might get lumbered with them. I learn from my mistakes, thats all I am saying...

Some other guy mentioned James Bond as an example of a male loner, then you quoted him saying loners were boring... Maybe Bond isn't your cup of tea but he's hardly 'boring' is he?

You've obviously had a bad experience somewhere down the line.

James Bond isnt real mate, sorry to break it to you.
However I will settle for male loners who aren't double agents are either boring or weird if you reeally like.

Not just bad experiences, life experience. I know they aren't the sort of people I associate with because they are either complete weirdos like my housemate or they have nothing to talk about and not great conversation skills due to spending all their time on their own. The best you can expect is for them to be well read, but discussing literature gets old pretty quickly.

Now if only you'd said that all along, would have saved us some time.

Just depends what you mean by a 'loner' really. People like you've described - okay, might not be the most fun to be around.

But some other people just like to recharge their batteries by being alone and actually have pretty good social skills.

Yeah but what the op describes to me is someone who spends the wast majority of their time alone. To me thats the sort of person who has few/no friends. And therefore not the sotrt of person Id tend to get on with (sure they wouldnt be a big fan of me either, i spend the vast majority of time with various groups of people)

I would consider myself to be a male loner, but I have loads of friends and can talk to most people in general. Although most of my friends are outside my group, or not my flatmates. A lot of the loners have social skills but spend loads of time alone.

I completely get what you mean. I have a flatmate who spends a lot of his time alone in his room and all he does is try to talk to me which really pisses me off and getting stuck with someone like that who lives opposite you and waits for your door to open can piss you off.

How do you make friends if you dont spend time with other people ie are a loner??

Ugh my flatmate is just a rude obnoxious moron. I literally hate him. He is a loner because noone spends any time with him because he is unpleasant to be around. Not to mention weird beyond beleif. We got stuck with him after my friend we were living with got ill and had to drop out. He tries to come out with us and we used to invite him but now we just run out the house before he knows were leaving because he has ruined so many nights out. I never thought I would meet someone that I am embarassed to be seen around, Im usually very accepting. But no, every time he spends time with us a little piece of me dies inside.