Is anyone else feeling like this?

eve_22

It's funny how change scares me. Despite being aware of the fact that I'll be starting university in October for the last six months, the closer the day actually comes, the more I seem to be feeling scared and worried about returning to education and turning my current life upside down. I made my decision a year ago and felt totally comfortable with it, however, now that I have a total of 5 weeks left until I have to move out of my house and start my new life in a different city, living in the college halls, without my partner and with a bunch of new people around me, I am actually dreading it. Don't get me wrong, I want this so much and I know that this is my ticket to a better life (or at least I hope it is), but all this pressure to do everything right and not to let myself and others who believe in me down is kind of getting to my head and making me start doubting if I can really and truly do this...I am leaving my job, which has a comfortable sallary and an authoritative position. I am leaving my colleagues and friends behind, and, most importantly, my partner. I know that this is only for a term at a time and so for three years in total, however, I am so used to being around him each day that I cannot imagine how things will be when I leave. We live and work together, and he is my best friend and my biggest source of support. Now he is 100% behind me and has committed to supporting me both morally and financially, and has promised me he'll do anything to make this an amazing experience for me. He keeps telling me this is only about me and I should be proud of what I have achieved. I know he is right, but somehow all these feelings are rushing through me and I end up being scared I won't be good enough and will end up letting him, my family and myself down. I guess it's the pressure of knowing I finally got a chance for a breakthrough out of my routine, a chance to change my life and do something that I really want to do. I am just scared and worried I will screw this up and, at the end, won't come out with anything else apart from dissapointment.
I don't know where all these feelings are coming from, I honestly don't, as, for most of my life, I have been shining with confidence and felt there is nothing that I cannot do. However, this seems to be different. More real. More important. It means everything to me and I don't want it to end up meaning nothing.

Sorry for the rant, but I was wondering if anyone else is feeling like this?

I can totally relate; I'm giving up a well-paid job too to go back to University - seems like a massive gamble, especially in this climate. But this is something I must do; the timing is right - it really is now or never. I'm feel excited and anxious - will I fit in? will I be able to keep up with the workload? I know what hard work means, I know how to go the extra mile with my studies; my intention is to go into this with the same attitude as I did on my last course ( the access course); finishing up with 87% overall I don't think is too bad - given the circumstances under in which it was achieved.

You'll be fine dude, you got into Oxford; you should be extremely proud! Do us mature students proud; you're flying the banner :-)

Hope this helps,

=)

Reply 4

diana luu

When I went to college, my excitement over the sad of department. That was my first time to leave the city where I live,and the first time for the train. Along the way I am very curious, looking at the scenery outside. And even do not sleep at night. It is two days until the train came to my school, where I would have to live for four years alone. But my tears came before my elder brother who accompany me to the school left.Knowing I would be in this unfamiliar city for oneself, I felt panic. But a few days later, I joined clubs, take part in the military training organized by the school, until the later classes, slowly I had new friends. Of course, the final result is that I spent a happy four-year university life. Do not worry, I am sure you will have new friends and enjoy your new life in your college time. :smile:

Reply 5

Aspiring

Hi eve

I know *precisely* how you are feeling ... I had my wobble of confidence the other day and it took me completely by surprise because, like you, I have been working towards this for the past 5yrs, will be the 1st of my family to undertake a degree and know that I will be a "mature", mature student adapting to a uni lifestyle. I will have to travel in because staying on campus was not an option because of my family circumstances. Like you, I suddenly felt overwhelmed that I had taken on something which may prove too much for me (will I cope with the workload/exams; will I be able to keep up with my peers; what if I should fail???).

Here's what I did to re-focus my thoughts:-

~ opened the Handbook and reviewed the learning outcomes of each module. Checked the books I already have to see if any of the subjects were in the index and reminded myself to take one day at a time!

~ reminded myself that *everyone* is going to be "new, nervous and a touch neurotic" about the start of their journey :wink:

~ Took the pressure off myself regarding the expectations of friends and family; I am going for *me*; I can only do *my* best, according to *my* abilities. The very worst that can happen is ... I'm not successful at this level of academic study. If that should be the case, that is not a failure per se, I gave it a go, I'll still have learned something, I'll still have my health, my family :smile:

~ Reminded myself of what I am going to uni for, what I hope to achieve and where I see myself 3 yrs *after* uni. (Remember, we're just embarking on a huge goal we set ourselves and we now have to look beyond that to the next goal and keep it in the back of our minds to motivate us through the sticky times).

It is going to be hard to be apart from your partner/best friend/greatest supporter. The beauty is, communications these days are pretty instantaneous with text and email - not perfect, or a substitute, but definately a compensation.

You will not mess up :smile:

You've invested too much of yourself and your lifestyle to not give it your best shot. You will have tutors, study skills support, new friends, even counselling services available at uni to discuss any problems you may encounter.

Just take each day as it comes, accept that you will have highs and lows, some of the work will seem like a breeze, other pieces will be more of a challenge. You will be absolutely fine. :smile:

Reply 6

little_green

11

I feel like this a bit too. Having been a full time mum for two years, answering to no one but my daughter, it feels almost a little scary having to knuckle down to a schedule imposed by someone else. Still, I'm sure after a month or so I'll be fine. Feel so nervous when I think about starting in two weeks though!

Reply 7

Aspiring

Hi eve

I know *precisely* how you are feeling ... I had my wobble of confidence the other day and it took me completely by surprise because, like you, I have been working towards this for the past 5yrs, will be the 1st of my family to undertake a degree and know that I will be a "mature", mature student adapting to a uni lifestyle. I will have to travel in because staying on campus was not an option because of my family circumstances. Like you, I suddenly felt overwhelmed that I had taken on something which may prove too much for me (will I cope with the workload/exams; will I be able to keep up with my peers; what if I should fail???).

Here's what I did to re-focus my thoughts:-

~ opened the Handbook and reviewed the learning outcomes of each module. Checked the books I already have to see if any of the subjects were in the index and reminded myself to take one day at a time!

~ reminded myself that *everyone* is going to be "new, nervous and a touch neurotic" about the start of their journey :wink:

~ Took the pressure off myself regarding the expectations of friends and family; I am going for *me*; I can only do *my* best, according to *my* abilities. The very worst that can happen is ... I'm not successful at this level of academic study. If that should be the case, that is not a failure per se, I gave it a go, I'll still have learned something, I'll still have my health, my family :smile:

~ Reminded myself of what I am going to uni for, what I hope to achieve and where I see myself 3 yrs *after* uni. (Remember, we're just embarking on a huge goal we set ourselves and we now have to look beyond that to the next goal and keep it in the back of our minds to motivate us through the sticky times).

It is going to be hard to be apart from your partner/best friend/greatest supporter. The beauty is, communications these days are pretty instantaneous with text and email - not perfect, or a substitute, but definitely a compensation.

You will not mess up :smile:

You've invested too much of yourself and your lifestyle to not give it your best shot. You will have tutors, study skills support, new friends, even counselling services available at uni to discuss any problems you may encounter.

Just take each day as it comes, accept that you will have highs and lows, some of the work will seem like a breeze, other pieces will be more of a challenge. You will be absolutely fine. :smile:

Some wise words ++ rep :biggrin:

Reply 8

CTVicky

I know what you mean OP.

I applied in June and had been feeling really confident about my decision up until a few days ago. I started having wobbles, worrying I'm not going to get on with anyone, noone will respect me, I'll be away from all my friends and family, I won't be able to handle the workload etc...

But as others have said I just remind myself why I am going and that keeps me going. I just wish I could start now, I've been unemployed since April and I'm struggling to cope with it. I just want to get the whole starting uni business out of the way.

Remember if you made this decision after a lot of careful thought and stuck by it for so long, there must be a good reason for it.

Reply 9

eve_22

OP

18

Thank you everyone!!! It might sound a little selfish, but it's relieving to hear that people are feeling similarly to me. I guess starting a new chapter in life is always a little (or a lot) scary, howeverm i'll do my best to look on the bright side of it and take each day as it comes.

Reply 10

quizster

I think I'd be more worried if you didn't feel the things you mentioned, its a big change, and its natural to feel the way you are feeling, I'm nervous myself, but know this is what I want deep down, and I'm going to be myself and go for it.

Reply 11

mousedust

5

eve_22

It's funny how change scares me. Despite being aware of the fact that I'll be starting university in October for the last six months, the closer the day actually comes, the more I seem to be feeling scared and worried about returning to education and turning my current life upside down. I made my decision a year ago and felt totally comfortable with it, however, now that I have a total of 5 weeks left until I have to move out of my house and start my new life in a different city, living in the college halls, without my partner and with a bunch of new people around me, I am actually dreading it. Don't get me wrong, I want this so much and I know that this is my ticket to a better life (or at least I hope it is), but all this pressure to do everything right and not to let myself and others who believe in me down is kind of getting to my head and making me start doubting if I can really and truly do this...I am leaving my job, which has a comfortable sallary and an authoritative position. I am leaving my colleagues and friends behind, and, most importantly, my partner. I know that this is only for a term at a time and so for three years in total, however, I am so used to being around him each day that I cannot imagine how things will be when I leave. We live and work together, and he is my best friend and my biggest source of support. Now he is 100% behind me and has committed to supporting me both morally and financially, and has promised me he'll do anything to make this an amazing experience for me. He keeps telling me this is only about me and I should be proud of what I have achieved. I know he is right, but somehow all these feelings are rushing through me and I end up being scared I won't be good enough and will end up letting him, my family and myself down. I guess it's the pressure of knowing I finally got a chance for a breakthrough out of my routine, a chance to change my life and do something that I really want to do. I am just scared and worried I will screw this up and, at the end, won't come out with anything else apart from dissapointment.
I don't know where all these feelings are coming from, I honestly don't, as, for most of my life, I have been shining with confidence and felt there is nothing that I cannot do. However, this seems to be different. More real. More important. It means everything to me and I don't want it to end up meaning nothing.

Sorry for the rant, but I was wondering if anyone else is feeling like this?

I can really relate to some of that, especially the relationship parts. I moved to be with my boyfriend two years ago, to an area that neither of us knew well, and now I'm heading off for another new area, but alone, and it's a really strange feeling. I know I should be excited, but I'm really not. Instead I'm stressing about finances and how I'll pay my credit card, stupid things like that. It's almost like I can't let myself enjoy teh good bits that are coming up.

I leave in three weeks, but it seems like it could be three years right now.

I guess we just have to go in there and give it our best, and with a bit of luck, we'll come out at the end feeling like we made it :smile:

(sorry if my reply isn't very coherent, I've been running it all round in my head too much!)

Reply 12

vivamoz

I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster, it's emotionally draining for me at the moment...one minute I can't wait to go and the next I think "what the hell am I doing?" As of today I have 10 days left in my job with which I have somewhat of a love/hate relationship. I am looking forward to leaving and starting a new chapter in my life- but at the same time I am worried about making friends, fitting in and also atuning to a completely different way of life- i.e. not working 9-5.

Think us matures have to keep reminding ourselves of the advantages we will have over our peers when we graduate. Varied experience in life and in the workplace will count for an awful lot :smile:

Reply 13

quizster

I'm not so worried about the work, its more the living in halls. By nature I'm just not a party animal, I like to go out, and maybe have a few drinks, but I'm not really a huge fan of clubs etc. This worries me because in general, and more so for fresher week, all social activities seem to involve drinking, and I feel as if I don't participate, I won't fit in.

In a way, its not a huge problem for me, because if I really, really hate living in halls, I will move back home, I only live 40 mins away on the bus, so I could easily commute every day.

Does any other mature student worry about the social aspect?

This maybe the totally wrong way of seeing things, but I'm going to Uni to get a degree, to further my career, I'm not going to party, that comes secondary, very much secondary as well.

Reply 14

mousedust

5

I worry too, Quizster. I've already scoped out how much I need if I want to move into a flat if halls life doesn't suit me. Knowing I have a back-up plan makes me feel a lot better!

My boyfriend (Who has already been to uni) thinks I'm mad because I don't want to pay £20 odd for a club night during freshers week. He thinks it's a great looking night, and that I should be looking to do things like that, where as I just can't see the point in paying that much when I know I will feel uncomfortable (and poor!) and not enjoy it that much. I do want to enjoy the social side but I need to feel comfortable when doing it, if that makes sense?

Reply 15

pyrogena

quizster

Does any other mature student worry about the social aspect?

This maybe the totally wrong way of seeing things, but I'm going to Uni to get a degree, to further my career, I'm not going to party, that comes secondary, very much secondary as well.

I did, and still do a bit, until I had a conversation with a really good friend of mine. She reminded me why I was going to University - to get a degree and follow something I've wanted to do my entire life...not go out and party. In fact, exactly how you just described it.

I'm far more of a "meet for coffee" type person, than a drink all night and club! Thing is, I've always been like that so I would probably have been just the same had I gone to Uni at 18.

I'm not going to panic over the social aspect or do things I don't want to do. I'm sure there will be people I get on with and if there aren't - then that's ok too.

Reply 16

pyrogena

I did, and still do a bit, until I had a conversation with a really good friend of mine. She reminded me why I was going to University - to get a degree and follow something I've wanted to do my entire life...not go out and party. In fact, exactly how you just described it.

I'm far more of a "meet for coffee" type person, than a drink all night and club! Thing is, I've always been like that so I would probably have been just the same had I gone to Uni at 18.

I'm not going to panic over the social aspect or do things I don't want to do. I'm sure there will be people I get on with and if there aren't - then that's ok too.

Same

infact I'm meeting a pal tonight for a coffee after work ( whom I met on the access course). I'm glad that we still meet up and hang out.

Reply 17

Aspiring

Lawstude

Same

infact I'm meeting a pal tonight for a coffee after work ( whom I met on the access course). I'm glad that we still meet up and hang out.

That is great! I'm also keeping in touch with people I met on my Access Course - in fact, I've been invited to the wedding of one of them :biggrin:

*note to self: must get a suitable outfit*

Reply 18