Parents won't let me and my boyfriend stay in the same house.

We've been together over a year and a half so I think it's pretty reasonable to want to be able to stay the night at his or vice versa. He's going to uni in September, I'm a year younger, and my parents even said they wouldn't be happy with me going to stay with him for a weekend when he was at uni and said that we couldn't stay in the same room until we could 'afford to live independently.'

Me and the boyfriend have decided to stay virgins until we can spend the night together.

Does anal count?

I think you should respect your parents opinion, it's their house after all.

That said, they aren't going to be able to monitor you all the time while you are at University, and you will have more freedom then to do what you want. I suggest you wait until then.

Or have sex in a car. Whatevers good for you.

Reply 3

reck

Try and be reasonable with them, how much have you spoken about the issue so far?

Ultimately it is their house, and therefore their rules.

If you earn their trust and show you can be mature about the situation, they are more likely to compromise to some degree.

Reply 4

Blueflare

18

It's their house and their rules, so you have to respect that.

Or, you know, find a way to break the rules and not get caught. :colone:

It's your choice whether you go and visit your boyfriend at Uni though.

Move out.

Original post by Lizzielet

We've been together over a year and a half so I think it's pretty reasonable to want to be able to stay the night at his or vice versa. He's going to uni in September, I'm a year younger, and my parents even said they wouldn't be happy with me going to stay with him for a weekend when he was at uni and said that we couldn't stay in the same room until we could 'afford to live independently.'

Me and the boyfriend have decided to stay virgins until we can spend the night together.

How ridiculous. Just stay at his when he's at uni anyway, it's not like they can stop you. :smile:

Reply 7

WelshBluebird

16

In your house, then fair enough. But they can't stop you going to stay at his surely?

Reply 8

astroju

It's fair enough that they don't want you to have sex in their house, and you should respect that. However if it's at university, it's under their own roof and they should mind their own businesses. Maybe ask them why they don't want you to stay the night? That way you can debate/negotiate it.

Reply 9

JackB123

Maybe they're feeling left out?

Reply 10

username545910

My sister is 15, 16 in a few weeks, and her boyfriend is a year older than her. She's not allowed to stay over, and he's not allowed to sleep at our house. But my dad will take her to his house at 5pm then collect her at 11pm...as if they're not going to do anything in that time frame. Maybe you could try that approach? :smile:

Reply 11

Lizzielet

OP

I'm 17, 15 isn't legal and there' no way they'll pick me up late.
I understand the 'our house, our rules thing' but they won't even let me stay round his when his parents are fine with it and they won't even let us sleep in different rooms. As for the reasons, they won't say anything just that they 'don't thinks it's right' and that I'm they're daughter and it's their rules and standards.

Reply 12

emma19911

I would say it's something you need to talk to your parents about say you don't understand why they are so against it and talk to them as an adult and stay calm.

To me it does seem slightly unfair because you are 17, and you have some right to want to stay at your boyfriends house, even if it was in different rooms. My mum was never really against it (if she was she never let on). I would say it's something they do need to get there head around it because you won't be a child for much longer and it will happen eventually.

Reply 13

IB_19

It's probably best to respect your parents decision. They are your parents after all, and if you go against their wishes, they'll be disappointed and you will lose their trust. It may be unfair for you, but they have your best interests. If things don't go as planned with your boyfriend, (for example your relationship finishes) it will be embarassing for you when you parents react to this.

Reply 14

FudgeMonkeys

2

Maybe have a talk with your parents about safe sex and prove to them that you're clued up about everything. Their problem might be that they aren't convinced you're mature or informed enough.

Reply 15

Lizzielet

OP

Original post by bradshawi

It's probably best to respect your parents decision. They are your parents after all, and if you go against their wishes, they'll be disappointed and you will lose their trust. It may be unfair for you, but they have your best interests. If things don't go as planned with your boyfriend, (for example your relationship finishes) it will be embarassing for you when you parents react to this.

I think if the relationship does finish, that what I will regret more is not staying the night or sleeping with him rather than worrying about how my parents feel. They may lose my trust if I go against them, but they're losing my respect with their OTT not until you live alone attitude.

Reply 16

Lizzielet

OP

Original post by FudgeMonkeys

Maybe have a talk with your parents about safe sex and prove to them that you're clued up about everything. Their problem might be that they aren't convinced you're mature or informed enough.

Believe me, they know I'm clued up, I've told them that I'm going to the Doctors to get the injection and my mum already knows I've been the the doctors to discuss contraception and all that.

Reply 17

FudgeMonkeys

2

Original post by Lizzielet

Believe me, they know I'm clued up, I've told them that I'm going to the Doctors to get the injection and my mum already knows I've been the the doctors to discuss contraception and all that.

Then it's the whole 'my baby can't be growing up yet' business and I don't think there's very much you can do about that. Especially because you're a girl, parents can get so biased when it comes to gender even if they won't admit it.

Reply 18

IB_19

Original post by Lizzielet

I think if the relationship does finish, that what I will regret more is not staying the night or sleeping with him rather than worrying about how my parents feel. They may lose my trust if I go against them, but they're losing my respect with their OTT not until you live alone attitude.

I am not a judge of whether the relationship will finish or not, I'm just offering what could happen. Though, it may be very unlikely it's not completely impossible. I understand what you're trying to say though and you are 17. It's a bit naive of me to advise you on what to do, as I've never been in this situation before. I'm just advising on what I think I would do.

Reply 19

limetang

19

Their house their rules.

Parents won't let me and my boyfriend stay in the same house.

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