This discussion is now closed.
Check out other Related discussions
- Is being a virgin and having ZERO dating/relationship experience a turn off at 22?
- Are there hobbies or interests that make men more interesting
- what qualities do you guys like in a girl?
- relationship help
- girl advice
- Question for girls
- catching bf cheating again?? - quite a long read im sorry!
- I can never get a girl because they are always broken by a bad boy
- catching bf cheating - quite a long read im sorry!!
- Not sure
- Is a birthmark on a girl a turn off?
- Septum piercings - turn on or turn off?
- ex unblocked me
- Need help understanding what’s wrong with this girl?
- [TRIGGER WARNING: sexual harassment]
- being autistic really sucks when talking to girls
- Girls; if you found out a guy was fantasising over your photos...
- guy I'm talking to keeps asking for nudes
- I am not sure how to approach my crush at my college
- Does it make you unhappy if you are always single?
Why is making a girl know your interested such a turn off?
OK so there was this girl I started chatting too around a month ago.
We got on really well and spent hours chatting on msn some nights, I went out with her on NYE and another day we went to play pool and everything seemed fine. Although I hadn't made a move yet because she had just split up with her boyfriend and thought she needed time. I knew she really wanted me at one point because she said she wanted me sexually and if she hadn't just broken up with her boyfriend she would be with me.
Although I had this constant nagging feeling that she had lost interest towards the last week and I realised it might have been because I made it to obvious I was interested.
Then it hit me, girls get very turned off when you are offered on a plate. So I was annoyed at the advice I had gotten from a certain friend saying I should ask if theres any chance of anything in the future because that was very much a plate offering! EDIT: I was annoyed because I had actually proceeded to ask her this which is what caused her to say shes not interested and theres no chance in the future
It is obvious that a guy is more attractive to a girl if she isn't sure if he likes her, but why does it play such a big role?
It makes me laugh how girls always moan about players and mean guys when they themselves have this big issue where they are only attracted to guys they are not sure they can get and always play hard to get.
We got on really well and spent hours chatting on msn some nights, I went out with her on NYE and another day we went to play pool and everything seemed fine. Although I hadn't made a move yet because she had just split up with her boyfriend and thought she needed time. I knew she really wanted me at one point because she said she wanted me sexually and if she hadn't just broken up with her boyfriend she would be with me.
Although I had this constant nagging feeling that she had lost interest towards the last week and I realised it might have been because I made it to obvious I was interested.
Then it hit me, girls get very turned off when you are offered on a plate. So I was annoyed at the advice I had gotten from a certain friend saying I should ask if theres any chance of anything in the future because that was very much a plate offering! EDIT: I was annoyed because I had actually proceeded to ask her this which is what caused her to say shes not interested and theres no chance in the future
It is obvious that a guy is more attractive to a girl if she isn't sure if he likes her, but why does it play such a big role?
It makes me laugh how girls always moan about players and mean guys when they themselves have this big issue where they are only attracted to guys they are not sure they can get and always play hard to get.
Scroll to see replies
Trying to understand this can only lead to dead ends. Females need to come with an instruction manual 
Being honest though just do what you think is right. You dont wana leave it too late just explain to her how you feel.
Like they say, if it's meant to be it'll happen. So keep ur fingers crossed and go for it
Being honest though just do what you think is right. You dont wana leave it too late just explain to her how you feel.
Like they say, if it's meant to be it'll happen. So keep ur fingers crossed and go for it
I think it's people in general rather than girls... I've seen this happen so many times when a girl comes on strong and the guy goes running for the hills... damn human nature 
I guess it's to do with not seeming clingy / desperate though - ie. if I'm going to get into a relationship with a guy, I want to know that a) he doesn't fall in (and out) of love with everyone who walks past him and b) that he has a life of his own separate from me and won't be too dependent. Someone who comes on too strong too fast rings warning bells for these reasons; I'll think he doesn't know me properly and would rather he took it slower. Having said that, some guys could propose marriage on our first meeting and I'd fall at their feet (slight exaggeration perhaps but you know what I mean) - love is a funny thing
I guess it's to do with not seeming clingy / desperate though - ie. if I'm going to get into a relationship with a guy, I want to know that a) he doesn't fall in (and out) of love with everyone who walks past him and b) that he has a life of his own separate from me and won't be too dependent. Someone who comes on too strong too fast rings warning bells for these reasons; I'll think he doesn't know me properly and would rather he took it slower. Having said that, some guys could propose marriage on our first meeting and I'd fall at their feet (slight exaggeration perhaps but you know what I mean) - love is a funny thing
Very similar situation.
I was "seeing" a girl for about six weeks at the start of university. Seemed to me to have the characteristics of a proper relationship. I asked her if we were properly together, to which I got the response "if the number 3 was going out with each other, we're 2.5". Few nights later, I went to see whilst a little inebriated and decided to tell her I liked her quite a lot, and planned on making it a 3.
Literally, ran for the hills. It's bugged me ever since.
I was "seeing" a girl for about six weeks at the start of university. Seemed to me to have the characteristics of a proper relationship. I asked her if we were properly together, to which I got the response "if the number 3 was going out with each other, we're 2.5". Few nights later, I went to see whilst a little inebriated and decided to tell her I liked her quite a lot, and planned on making it a 3.
Literally, ran for the hills. It's bugged me ever since.
lol man it took me from when i was 15 to when i was 17 to figure this one out, its a simple rule of life, if you chase someone they run, and if you run they chase you.
I think of it this way, most attraction is based on some kind of sexual tension so if you just go about blabbing to her about how much you love her your going to kill that tension, and kill the excitment of the getting intimate process. if i were you i would just be fun when your around her and be slightly suggestive(making her curious), then when you two are alone run your fingers through her hair, look into her eyes and comment on her soft or nice her hair is.
now at this point if shes moves away from you then you know shes not interested but if she doesnt then kiss her and go from there.
but man tbvh for the life of me i can't think of a logical reason why telling your feelings is such a turn off, it certainly would make (love) life a lot easier if it was'nt.
peace.
I think of it this way, most attraction is based on some kind of sexual tension so if you just go about blabbing to her about how much you love her your going to kill that tension, and kill the excitment of the getting intimate process. if i were you i would just be fun when your around her and be slightly suggestive(making her curious), then when you two are alone run your fingers through her hair, look into her eyes and comment on her soft or nice her hair is.
now at this point if shes moves away from you then you know shes not interested but if she doesnt then kiss her and go from there.
but man tbvh for the life of me i can't think of a logical reason why telling your feelings is such a turn off, it certainly would make (love) life a lot easier if it was'nt.
peace.
Don't try and understand women...it'll drive you insane.
Plus they are all different and react very differently to different situations. Saying this because of issues im currently with a very close female friend of mine who i have known very well for quite a while and i still don't understand what the hell is going on!!!
Plus they are all different and react very differently to different situations. Saying this because of issues im currently with a very close female friend of mine who i have known very well for quite a while and i still don't understand what the hell is going on!!!
I really think you ought to be a bit careful with your generalisations here. I doubt what you say is true for all girls and I definately doubt that it could make a very massive difference to how someone felt about you. After all, if someone has a crush on you before they know you like them back, I doubt they will just suddenly change their mind about things.
Also, it may very well be a question of how you tell someone you like them. "hey baby, you got a hot ass" is probably not particularily likely to get you a positive response as an example.
Don't worry too much about it I'd say. If a girl doesn't have enough feelings for you to remain interested after you tell them, then chances are a relationship might not have lasted particularily long annyways. Not to say that this is always true, its just that I doubt many people feel so strongly about it that it would be more important than other features of your personality.
Also, it may very well be a question of how you tell someone you like them. "hey baby, you got a hot ass" is probably not particularily likely to get you a positive response as an example.
Don't worry too much about it I'd say. If a girl doesn't have enough feelings for you to remain interested after you tell them, then chances are a relationship might not have lasted particularily long annyways. Not to say that this is always true, its just that I doubt many people feel so strongly about it that it would be more important than other features of your personality.
I'm a girl, and while I admit many of my fellow counterparts start to get scared if a guy they like makes himself overly availiable, I myself have never understood the appeal of "playing hard to get." Not everyone is into the chasing game; I for one think it would be flattering if a guy was into me and went out of his way to spend time with me, but maybe I'm in the minority? This just seems like the stupidest logic ever: "I'm really into so and so, so I better try really hard to make it look like I'm not interested." What is with that?! I still have yet to have someone give a satisfactory answer.
fanofkdc
Okay, I must be the only girl that's posted on this thread.
Sabre
Would also appreciate some female input to this thread if possible 
Er, see above - I'm a girl....
It depends on the guy. If he isn't hot or attractive, then I run for the hills. This happened on Saturday night when someone tried to give me their phone number twice. Big turn off. However, if it was Jake Gyllenhaal swearing undying love, then I don't think I'd say no. Then again, if the guy is really attractive but annoyingly persisent and clingy, then yes, I flee. You have to play hard to get with just the right amount of sexual overtones to keep her interested!!!
personally i think she is probably just feeling a bit confused, if she's just split up with her bf she might not want a new relationship right away??? just give it time and take it slowly is my advice
A lot of people enjoy the thrill of the chase, which I don't get. I prefer things plain and simple, I can't be done with mind games. If you want to ****, let's **** already.
Although if you were making it completely obvious you liked her, you were probably coming across as sleazy and after her muff.
Although if you were making it completely obvious you liked her, you were probably coming across as sleazy and after her muff.
Chase Me
A lot of people enjoy the thrill of the chase, which I don't get. I prefer things plain and simple, I can't be done with mind games. If you want to ****, let's **** already.
Although if you were making it completely obvious you liked her, you were probably coming across as sleazy and after her muff.
Although if you were making it completely obvious you liked her, you were probably coming across as sleazy and after her muff.
i find it rather ironic how saying this your user name is "chase me"
bit of a paradox there...
Related discussions
- Is being a virgin and having ZERO dating/relationship experience a turn off at 22?
- Are there hobbies or interests that make men more interesting
- what qualities do you guys like in a girl?
- relationship help
- girl advice
- Question for girls
- catching bf cheating again?? - quite a long read im sorry!
- I can never get a girl because they are always broken by a bad boy
- catching bf cheating - quite a long read im sorry!!
- Not sure
- Is a birthmark on a girl a turn off?
- Septum piercings - turn on or turn off?
- ex unblocked me
- Need help understanding what’s wrong with this girl?
- [TRIGGER WARNING: sexual harassment]
- being autistic really sucks when talking to girls
- Girls; if you found out a guy was fantasising over your photos...
- guy I'm talking to keeps asking for nudes
- I am not sure how to approach my crush at my college
- Does it make you unhappy if you are always single?
Latest
Trending
Last reply 5 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 5 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 3 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutTrending
Last reply 5 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 5 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 3 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset about
