Were my parents fair to do this regarding accommodation?
Scroll to see replies
Original post by olympicdude
Its not £100+ a week. Its £70-£80 a week. You have been wrong so many times. Did you not read I can pay for the rent several times over and this is without any loan?
If you can definitely pay the rent even without your loan, I think you should ask your gran or your friends. You're saying it wouldn't be fair to ask them- but if you can definitely pay it, then they won't ever need to and there is nothing unfair about that. All you need is a signature to make things official and get your accomodation. My boyfriend had to ask his gran (his parents didn't meet the criteria for being his guarantor) even though if he'd ever needed her to pay, she wouldn't have been able to. But she signed it because she knew he'd definitely be able to pay all his rent and deposits.
Also, does your dad fully understand the role of guarantors? They're becoming a more common requirement of renting now, and if he's really the only person you want signing a guarantor form then you may find some difficulties in a few years when you try and find a place to rent.
Original post by olympicdude
I need to find a place to live for university next year. I have been on a gap year and I have to choose off campus. I found two great places but the agencies needed guarantors from my parents. A guarantor is a person who pays for the rent if I can't pay it so my parents would pay if I can't pay.
My parents point blanc refused to be guarantors and they said they wouldn't be persuaded. I am very careful with money, I have quite a lot of money saved up and I could pay the rent several times over, that's how much money I have saved up. Even so, my parents refuse.
Term is about a month from starting. I haven't found a place to live and I could end up with nowhere or a ****ty place in a poor location at best, never having met the people or even looked at the place beforehand. Were my parents fair to do this?
My parents point blanc refused to be guarantors and they said they wouldn't be persuaded. I am very careful with money, I have quite a lot of money saved up and I could pay the rent several times over, that's how much money I have saved up. Even so, my parents refuse.
Term is about a month from starting. I haven't found a place to live and I could end up with nowhere or a ****ty place in a poor location at best, never having met the people or even looked at the place beforehand. Were my parents fair to do this?
If the worst comes to the worst you could just pay all the rent up front, if you say you have enough? Or speak to the landlord, show them your bank statement.
Original post by PhoenixFortune
I know this sounds harsh, but to me, if one of my parents refused to be a guarantor, it would set alarm bells ringing. Perhaps your dad has something to hide that would affect his ability to be your guarantor, like a unspent conviction or something?
haha this is funny! Because your right...but I don't think they actually check up on your guarantor most the time. My Dad is my guarantor and I don't even know if he's allowed to be. But they told me it was just a formality.
Original post by pinkangelgirl
haha this is funny! Because your right...but I don't think they actually check up on your guarantor most the time. My Dad is my guarantor and I don't even know if he's allowed to be. But they told me it was just a formality.
Good point... For a normal flat my dad had been credit checked/referenced for being guarantor but in both my shared student houses they didn't do any checks on him
Xxx
posted from the TSR Android app
Original post by kpwxx
Good point... For a normal flat my dad had been credit checked/referenced for being guarantor but in both my shared student houses they didn't do any checks on him
Xxx
posted from the TSR Android app
Xxx
posted from the TSR Android app
Yeh that sounds about right
Original post by ashtoreth
you know i'm finding it really hard to read all the posts that are sayin OP's father is being xyz an calling him names. the man has got his child this far and yeah ok, he's not willing to do the guarantor thing - and the question was, is that fair, well yeah actually, it's kinda fair enuff. sounds like he's done what he could, for as long as he could. there's clearly a reason he doesn't wanna discuss this and it's a closed subject. mebbe there's a debt issue as mentioned previously. who knows.
it may make life that bit harder for OP but, not impossible surely! especially saying how much money the OP has saved up.
as a parent he has already done his duty...and no that doesn't stop at 18 but mebbe he's unable to do this one thing (whatever his reasons) and is too proud to say. for sure, i know my own dad's like this and it's incredibly frustrating when trying to reason with him.
*mebbe a horse's head one of the times*
guess i'm saying, leave the man his dignity and try and find another way.
it may make life that bit harder for OP but, not impossible surely! especially saying how much money the OP has saved up.
as a parent he has already done his duty...and no that doesn't stop at 18 but mebbe he's unable to do this one thing (whatever his reasons) and is too proud to say. for sure, i know my own dad's like this and it's incredibly frustrating when trying to reason with him.
*mebbe a horse's head one of the times*
guess i'm saying, leave the man his dignity and try and find another way.
Maybe if he is financially unable to do this one thing, he probably shouldn't be so closed off about it. OP is at an adult and I'm sure is more than capable of understanding the family's finances and being mature about it. Although if his dad REALLY doesn't want to say anything about it then surely he could still be more helpful. He could say something like he has reasons, and instead of shutting off about it he could go off with his son and help him find somewhere to live, even if it's just driving him around, making phone calls and being encouraging etc. Surely just shutting off from the issue causes unnecessary stress to his son and creates a rift in the family, and I think that is why OP's dad is being unfair.
I remember OP saying something about how his dad can also be threatening about it, it sounds like his attitude is creating a certain amount of fear, especially to OP's mother. Him trying to gain control of the family in that manner could very easily spiral out of control if pushed, I feel sorry for OP having to deal with this...
Original post by Rhonut
Maybe if he is financially unable to do this one thing, he probably shouldn't be so closed off about it. OP is at an adult and I'm sure is more than capable of understanding the family's finances and being mature about it. Although if his dad REALLY doesn't want to say anything about it then surely he could still be more helpful. He could say something like he has reasons, and instead of shutting off about it he could go off with his son and help him find somewhere to live, even if it's just driving him around, making phone calls and being encouraging etc. Surely just shutting off from the issue causes unnecessary stress to his son and creates a rift in the family, and I think that is why OP's dad is being unfair.
I remember OP saying something about how his dad can also be threatening about it, it sounds like his attitude is creating a certain amount of fear, especially to OP's mother. Him trying to gain control of the family in that manner could very easily spiral out of control if pushed, I feel sorry for OP having to deal with this...
I remember OP saying something about how his dad can also be threatening about it, it sounds like his attitude is creating a certain amount of fear, especially to OP's mother. Him trying to gain control of the family in that manner could very easily spiral out of control if pushed, I feel sorry for OP having to deal with this...
i always wanted my father to be different to how he is. i've had to learn to accept, as hard as it has often been, that my father is how he is and i'm no more gonna be able to change that, than he is gonna be able to change me. not ideal but, it is what it is.
it's why i responded to this thread because OP's father really does sound like mine and if that's right...then OP's father is gonna be a v proud man that doesn't like to explain himself to anyone.
again, mebbe not great but, it is what it is...not as we'd like it to be.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by ashtoreth
i always wanted my father to be different to how he is. i've had to learn to accept, as hard as it has often been, that my father is how he is and i'm no more gonna be able to change that, than he is gonna be able to change me. not ideal but, it is what it is.
it's why i responded to this thread because OP's father really does sound like mine and if that's right...then OP's father is gonna be a v proud man that doesn't like to explain himself to anyone.
again, mebbe not great but, it is what it is...not as we'd like it to be.
it's why i responded to this thread because OP's father really does sound like mine and if that's right...then OP's father is gonna be a v proud man that doesn't like to explain himself to anyone.
again, mebbe not great but, it is what it is...not as we'd like it to be.
Maybe if the OP wants his dad to be more involved he should try and tackle it from a different angle, maybe such as saying to his dad that he will respect any reasons he has for not wanting to be the guarantor and then explaining to his dad the problems he's been having with the accommodation and that he would appreciate help even if it's not by being the guarantor himself. of course OP may just feel it's easier to leave his dad out of it, which is also fine.
In terms of practical advice i think OP should contact his University and explain his situation, they might be able to help or at least provide temporary accommodation when uni starts until he can settle the matter, if it gets that late. I can understand why he would want it done quickly as well, in our uni the off campus accom goes really quickly, those who leave it a little late are often left in houses in poor condition or with awful landlords. By the summer pretty much all nearby accom will be gone, and the poor bus service makes commuting hard. I had to live off campus last year and hated it because it was so inconvenient, the problems of off campus outweighed the problems of living in halls. I imagine most unis are more geared up towards off campus living though, and maybe it's better at other unis, so maybe OP doesn't have this problem.
It might also be a good idea to directly contact the landlord and offer more money up front, perhaps half the year or the full year, saying that he does not want to put relatives in the situation or something since he is able to manage himself...
Could a bank even give a letter or something to say he is financially able, combined with loan / grant letters?
Original post by Rhonut
Maybe if the OP wants his dad to be more involved he should try and tackle it from a different angle, maybe such as saying to his dad that he will respect any reasons he has for not wanting to be the guarantor and then explaining to his dad the problems he's been having with the accommodation and that he would appreciate help even if it's not by being the guarantor himself. of course OP may just feel it's easier to leave his dad out of it, which is also fine.
In terms of practical advice i think OP should contact his University and explain his situation, they might be able to help or at least provide temporary accommodation when uni starts until he can settle the matter, if it gets that late. I can understand why he would want it done quickly as well, in our uni the off campus accom goes really quickly, those who leave it a little late are often left in houses in poor condition or with awful landlords. By the summer pretty much all nearby accom will be gone, and the poor bus service makes commuting hard. I had to live off campus last year and hated it because it was so inconvenient, the problems of off campus outweighed the problems of living in halls. I imagine most unis are more geared up towards off campus living though, and maybe it's better at other unis, so maybe OP doesn't have this problem.
It might also be a good idea to directly contact the landlord and offer more money up front, perhaps half the year or the full year, saying that he does not want to put relatives in the situation or something since he is able to manage himself...
Could a bank even give a letter or something to say he is financially able, combined with loan / grant letters?
In terms of practical advice i think OP should contact his University and explain his situation, they might be able to help or at least provide temporary accommodation when uni starts until he can settle the matter, if it gets that late. I can understand why he would want it done quickly as well, in our uni the off campus accom goes really quickly, those who leave it a little late are often left in houses in poor condition or with awful landlords. By the summer pretty much all nearby accom will be gone, and the poor bus service makes commuting hard. I had to live off campus last year and hated it because it was so inconvenient, the problems of off campus outweighed the problems of living in halls. I imagine most unis are more geared up towards off campus living though, and maybe it's better at other unis, so maybe OP doesn't have this problem.
It might also be a good idea to directly contact the landlord and offer more money up front, perhaps half the year or the full year, saying that he does not want to put relatives in the situation or something since he is able to manage himself...
Could a bank even give a letter or something to say he is financially able, combined with loan / grant letters?
yep, i can agree with what u say regards how to approach his father, if his father is the approachable type under diff circs then that may well be the way to go.
i've grown up in a very patriarchal household so perhaps i'm more able to let things go, because it's a case of 'best left'.
the rest of your advice seems sound and makes lotsa sense to me...let's hope the OP manages to resolve the situ asap
Original post by ashtoreth
yep, i can agree with what u say regards how to approach his father, if his father is the approachable type under diff circs then that may well be the way to go.
i've grown up in a very patriarchal household so perhaps i'm more able to let things go, because it's a case of 'best left'.
the rest of your advice seems sound and makes lotsa sense to me...let's hope the OP manages to resolve the situ asap
i've grown up in a very patriarchal household so perhaps i'm more able to let things go, because it's a case of 'best left'.
the rest of your advice seems sound and makes lotsa sense to me...let's hope the OP manages to resolve the situ asap
I hope things work out for OP too
Best of luck OP and don't give up!You could always keep looking for estate agents that don't ask for guarantors but i think it'd be a waste of time. The vast majority of agents will want one if they're renting to students; as some people have mentioned, some parents don't trust their children to be able to pay rent reliably, so it makes sense that landlords don't either. Students don't generally have a reputation for fiscal responsibility!
Personally, i've never heard of landlords completely refusing someone who hasn't got a guarantor. They understand that not everyone has someone to sign for them, especially international students (as often a UK based guarantor is needed). This really shouldn't be a new situation to them! Most often the solution is to make you pay the whole years rent upfront so that there's no risk for them. You said you had enough money so this shouldn't be a problem. If the current landlords you're dealing with won't budge then just phone up others, explain that you don't have a guarantor but are able to pay the rent upfront and see what they've got.
Also, why don't you get in contact with your university's housing department. Universities are often willing to act as guarantors. They'll probably do some checks etc. but again if you have the money this shouldn't be a problem. They might only do so if it's for an estate agent that they've approved, so try and find out if they have a list like that.
Just remember that loads of students go through this all the time and any agent that deals with students regularly will be more than familiar with this!
You don't have long left til uni starts so find out if you can pay rent upfront for whatever property you're looking at now or go find an estate agent that'll let you do so.
Personally, i've never heard of landlords completely refusing someone who hasn't got a guarantor. They understand that not everyone has someone to sign for them, especially international students (as often a UK based guarantor is needed). This really shouldn't be a new situation to them! Most often the solution is to make you pay the whole years rent upfront so that there's no risk for them. You said you had enough money so this shouldn't be a problem. If the current landlords you're dealing with won't budge then just phone up others, explain that you don't have a guarantor but are able to pay the rent upfront and see what they've got.
Also, why don't you get in contact with your university's housing department. Universities are often willing to act as guarantors. They'll probably do some checks etc. but again if you have the money this shouldn't be a problem. They might only do so if it's for an estate agent that they've approved, so try and find out if they have a list like that.
Just remember that loads of students go through this all the time and any agent that deals with students regularly will be more than familiar with this!
You don't have long left til uni starts so find out if you can pay rent upfront for whatever property you're looking at now or go find an estate agent that'll let you do so.Original post by Freier._.lance
Is this only for students or quite a recent thing? As in my experience I have never been asked to provide a Guarantor.
For students it can change on the area you are in. You will find some areas that you would struggle to find a place that doesn't need one and other areas you will struggle to find one that does.
My actual comments at the time were aimed more generally at the idea of guarantors, and they are very normal - not always as you get to the cheapest properties but still completely normal across the country and seemingly getting more popular all the time.
Original post by kpwxx
I was wondering the same thing. I'd imagine it's more one company in a city starts not requiring one (taking a risk) and then the others follow suit to keep up with the competition. Every company I've just tried to rent with (Norwich, for reference) has required one, and this is for a postgrad course with a £9k bursary on top of standard student loans. This was 11 companies (one wouldn't rent to me at all), plus I've rented with two others before who have also required one. These two were essentially landlord run. Though I suspect you'd be able to find some independent people who may be more flexible. This is easier said than done though, I looked for an independent property for months and couldn't find anything.
Btw I agree with you completely
Xxx
posted from the TSR Android app
Btw I agree with you completely
Xxx
posted from the TSR Android app
I'm renting with Jagfer this year and they didn't require a guarentor
Original post by cl_steele
Why do you keep putting route in quote marks ?
So what? financial circumstances often change... Just because OP has X amount of money now doesnt mean in a couple of months time he wont have blown it on something in the heat of the moment...
Either way youre missing my point, it is not the parents obligation to act as a guarentor... why should they? He's an adult and the parents dont have to be there to have the buck handed to them should something go wrong. If they want to be the guarantor then whoopee for OP but if they dont its hardly justified to say its 'unfair'.
So what? financial circumstances often change... Just because OP has X amount of money now doesnt mean in a couple of months time he wont have blown it on something in the heat of the moment...
Either way youre missing my point, it is not the parents obligation to act as a guarentor... why should they? He's an adult and the parents dont have to be there to have the buck handed to them should something go wrong. If they want to be the guarantor then whoopee for OP but if they dont its hardly justified to say its 'unfair'.
because i was quoting you...?
well i can understand if the OP actually had gone and spent all his money, but it's a bit rude to make the assumption he will.
i think it's perfectly understandable that they do it - as others have said having a guarantor is just a formality for almost all student contracts, it's not like he's actually expecting his parents to pay when he goes and spends all his money as you say. (rhymes so it must be true!
)Original post by jelly1000
I'm renting with Jagfer this year and they didn't require a guarentor
Ohh, never heard of them! How'd you find them?
Tbh the OP is probably best to post in the relevant uni forum asking for which landlords don't require guarantors in that city.
Xxx
posted from the TSR Android app
I don't understand why everyone is saying "oh if you're sure you can pay it, your parents should be OK with it bla bla" The point is, what if something happens and you physically can't pay it (I can't think of a situation where that would happen, but still) That's the problem. I doubt they are refusing because they don't believe you'll pay, they obviously don't want the responsibly if something happened and you were short of money. Perhaps money is a bit tight and they actually cannot afford to be the back up? 
Bit extreme
Original post by PhoenixFortune
I know this sounds harsh, but to me, if one of my parents refused to be a guarantor, it would set alarm bells ringing. Perhaps your dad has something to hide that would affect his ability to be your guarantor, like a unspent conviction or something?
Bit extreme
Original post by kpwxx
Ohh, never heard of them! How'd you find them?
Tbh the OP is probably best to post in the relevant uni forum asking for which landlords don't require guarantors in that city.
Xxx
posted from the TSR Android app
Tbh the OP is probably best to post in the relevant uni forum asking for which landlords don't require guarantors in that city.
Xxx
posted from the TSR Android app
Just googled Norwich student accomodation and they were advertising properties on the first website that came up.
Original post by jelly1000
Just googled Norwich student accomodation and they were advertising properties on the first website that came up.
Oh right, I've been googling 'Norwich letting agents' (or looking in classifieds)
Been to the standard non-student ones (my partner isn't a student any more and it's just the two of us). I will bear that in mind for anyone who might need it- my fiance doesn't have parents as guarantors but my parents volunteered instead (luckily!).xxx
Original post by beccafairy
because i was quoting you...?
well i can understand if the OP actually had gone and spent all his money, but it's a bit rude to make the assumption he will.
i think it's perfectly understandable that they do it - as others have said having a guarantor is just a formality for almost all student contracts, it's not like he's actually expecting his parents to pay when he goes and spends all his money as you say. (rhymes so it must be true!)
well i can understand if the OP actually had gone and spent all his money, but it's a bit rude to make the assumption he will.
i think it's perfectly understandable that they do it - as others have said having a guarantor is just a formality for almost all student contracts, it's not like he's actually expecting his parents to pay when he goes and spends all his money as you say. (rhymes so it must be true!
)I wouldnt say its rude, more prudent... i mean if you were lending someone money would you do it with the best possible out come at heart or would you lend in accordance with the worst case scenario? I mean if i lent someone money id be making sure i was prepared for a default ... same principle applies here i wouldnt want to guarentee someones ability to pay for anything unless i was damn certain that theyd not compromise my finances and in the politest possible way students arent known for being that financially competant are they?
He might not expect his parents to pay but i'll bet my bottom dollar the landlord will if he fails to pay his rent ..
Oh very funny.. :P
Original post by cl_steele
I wouldnt say its rude, more prudent... i mean if you were lending someone money would you do it with the best possible out come at heart or would you lend in accordance with the worst case scenario? I mean if i lent someone money id be making sure i was prepared for a default ... same principle applies here i wouldnt want to guarentee someones ability to pay for anything unless i was damn certain that theyd not compromise my finances and in the politest possible way students arent known for being that financially competant are they?
He might not expect his parents to pay but i'll bet my bottom dollar the landlord will if he fails to pay his rent ..
Oh very funny.. :P
He might not expect his parents to pay but i'll bet my bottom dollar the landlord will if he fails to pay his rent ..
Oh very funny.. :P
i agree that (unfortunately) it is likely for a student to go and do that kind of thing, but i wouldn't class the OP as your typical student - if he's saved up that much already he obviously knows how to handle having a large sum of money! and already the fact that he's choosing a student house over halls says to me that he's not likely to be a party animal.
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- Help, can people move in early?
- Is UCL full of rich kids?
- Do I have to stay in uni accom for freshers?
- Proving residency after gap year
- Student Accomodation payments
- How much spending money should I get?
- Why I chose the University of Sheffield - Ask me anything!
- How hard is it to get allocated council housing?
- Confused on small things about uni
- accommodation
- Homelessness, worst crisis in life, ...
- Solicitor apprenticeship/ degree apprenticeships in general!!!
- What is the aim of the Freshers Day?
- Accomodation
- Feeling Unsure about My Future Post A Level Results Day
- University of Bath - Accommodation options: Woodland, Malrborough, and Solsbury Court
- Cant Decide on Commuting to Uni or Not
- Concerned with GP proof of disability form
- CO1 form
- University Accommodation University of Glasgow
Latest
Trending
Last reply 5 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 5 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 6 days ago
I tried to apply to Disabled Student’s Allowance but…Last reply 1 week ago
For harrasment does someone get a warning first or no warningLast reply 1 week ago
Rutherford Appleton Laboratory Work Experience - ACCOMODATION (harwell campus)Last reply 1 week ago
I think I’m decently pretty but I don’t get asked out …Last reply 3 weeks ago
Please help I accidentally ran a red and am terrifiedTrending
Last reply 5 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 5 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 6 days ago
I tried to apply to Disabled Student’s Allowance but…Last reply 1 week ago
For harrasment does someone get a warning first or no warningLast reply 1 week ago
Rutherford Appleton Laboratory Work Experience - ACCOMODATION (harwell campus)Last reply 1 week ago
I think I’m decently pretty but I don’t get asked out …Last reply 3 weeks ago
Please help I accidentally ran a red and am terrified
