Girlfriend kissed another guy.

Reply 20

Palatial Veranda

12

Original post by Plumstone

In most cases, actions taken when drunk are simply an uninhibited expression of what one would like to do when sober.

Yeah

Drunken minds = Sober thoughts

Reply 21

Authority_Song

Original post by Jalk

Hi all. As the title says, my gf of a year kissed someone else. It was in a club, she was drunk. The guy was an acquaintance. Apparently she started it and it lasted a few seconds. I was told this my someone who saw what was going on but she did tell me herself. Apparently there weren't any tounges but a bit of movement (I demanded as much detail as I could get).

I'm not sure what to do. I'm tempted to end things as it really stings but some have said a drunken three second kiss like that doesn't mean anything. Thanks for any replies.

Exactly the same thing happened to me a few years ago.

I felt the same way too. After a bit of deliberation I tried to forget about it and move on. Eventually the lack of trust and the hurt became too much and our relationship was ruined.

Take from that what you will. Its all about how you feel, not how I did. But be warned that losing trust in someone is a hammer blow to a relationship.

Reply 22

Jordan_1

Typical women, can't trust any of them.

Reply 23

Sweet_Heart

10

That's such a poor excuse, drinking. I won't pretend I haven't been an absolute fool when drunk at times, but that doesn't mean that relationship boundaries are suddenly erased. Completely unacceptable, especially if she initiated it.

Having said all that, I do think that there is the potential to work around it, if you want to. She's betrayed your trust, but it was a one time thing, and she came clean to you so clearly felt guilty, (and alcohol does exacerbate feelings and make them come out irrationally too). However, alcohol doesn't create a feeling that wasn't already there to begin with. Get to the bottom of why she acted like that, and you might be able to move forward.

Reply 24

2ndClass

3

There wasn't any need for her to get drunk to that extent. It's evident that one person has more value for the other in this relationship.

Reply 25

Jalk

OP

4

Cheers all. In case you missed it, buried in the thread somewhere is a message from me saying it's over, at least for now. It's her starting it I can't live with without my heart feeling absolutley ruined. A kiss would have been bad enough anyway.

Shockingly the guy has managed to track me down to apologise. He knew she had a bf, and to be honest I completely lost my rag. On second thoughts though if a girl starts kissing a drunk guy what's he going to do? Kiss back I'd say, at least until you work out what's going on. Tough to know how to feel about him.

Reply 26

conormc09

Publically embarass her, leave her a facebook post shaming her for the ho she is. Thn when she removes that post make another on your own facebook teling the world shes a ho.

Reply 27

fudgemuffins

12

Original post by Jalk

Hi all. As the title says, my gf of a year kissed someone else. It was in a club, she was drunk. The guy was an acquaintance. Apparently she started it and it lasted a few seconds. I was told this my someone who saw what was going on but she did tell me herself. Apparently there weren't any tounges but a bit of movement (I demanded as much detail as I could get).

I'm not sure what to do. I'm tempted to end things as it really stings but some have said a drunken three second kiss like that doesn't mean anything. Thanks for any replies.

If it were me, I would probably urinate on her breasts as punishment.

Reply 28

Anonymous #1

Original post by Jalk

Cheers all. In case you missed it, buried in the thread somewhere is a message from me saying it's over, at least for now. It's her starting it I can't live with without my heart feeling absolutley ruined. A kiss would have been bad enough anyway.

Shockingly the guy has managed to track me down to apologise. He knew she had a bf, and to be honest I completely lost my rag. On second thoughts though if a girl starts kissing a drunk guy what's he going to do? Kiss back I'd say, at least until you work out what's going on. Tough to know how to feel about him.

I know it seems awful now but be careful you don't throw away a really good relationship over it.....
A similar thing happened with my boyfriend and I, he kissed another girl when we'd only been together a few weeks (we'd been best friends for a year before we went out though) but he was really drunk and he told me as soon as he saw me and was seriously upset about it...I broke up with him and didn't speak to him for several days but realised I didn't want to throw away what we had over one drunken kiss that I could tell he regretted more than anything. We've now been together for over a year and I trust him more than anything.
I have no idea what your relationship was like but if you love her and think you'd have still been together if this hadn't happened maybe think twice...

Reply 29

Jalk

OP

4

Maybe one day we'll get back on track. Not for a bit though.

Reply 30

Spongebob'sPants

14

Good call in my opinion.

Reply 31

georgia

14

I would not be okay with this, especially as she initiated the kiss.

I actually genuinely don't think my boyfriend would ever kiss another girl while in a relationship, but if he did then it would just destroy all the trust we have and he wouldn't be the person I thought he was...

Reply 32

misst911

15

If you love each other one kiss isn't worth wasting all that, but if you're not going to get over it the relationship will only end up bad. I'd say see how things go, make sure she knows how much she hurt you but try and forgive and forget.

Reply 33

FinnLassie

Original post by Jalk

Maybe one day we'll get back on track. Not for a bit though.

My advise is to not expect anything to happen. Just live day by day.

I did the mistake of expecting things to be sorted out in some manner (mostly positive) last year, and it just made things worse.

Reply 34

The Marshall

11

This is the awful thing that always happens. Once the women kisses another man/women, its game over for the boyfriend. She'll start falling with her lover and leave you, which to me is betrayel. Dump her now before anything like this happens.

Reply 35

Jalk

OP

4

Cheers for further replies. They really mean a lot. As you can probably guess I feel like crap. Drunk or not, why on earth did she lean in to kiss another guy :frown:

We're done...

Reply 36

jnkesd

8

You cannot stay with her after this, she has cuckolded you, for you to stay with her would be humiliating for you. She has made you look like you can't keep control of your woman and you are now disgraced. Dump her and start plotting your revenge. She made you a cuckold, you out her as a woman of disrepute.

Reply 37

thevegman

8

Granted, security of the emotional heart is what most relationships are about and your girlfriend did not respect that.

However, there is no rule as to how you have to behave in this situation. Lots of partners manage to forgive infidelities much greater than this one, probably due to being in long standing relationships or feeling that their current partner is not perfect, but still is 'the one'. And sometimes staying together can be as much about pragmatism as love. For whatever reason they chose to stay or leave, would you really say that it is always right to leave (e.g. Cheryl Cole leaving Ashley) than stay (e.g. Mrs Rooney & Giggs)? No-one outside a relationship ever really knows, but based on public perception, who is in the best position now out of those ladies?

So I would say, always think twice before ending a relationship and if in doubt wait it out.

However, I have to be honest and say that I wouldn't have trusted either of my last two girlfriends further than I could throw them. In the free west, it is normal that women have a lot of freedom, which makes it all the more important that you can be confident they have eyes only for you.