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Relocating for a new job.

Would you/have you done this?

I relocated about 300 miles 3 months ago. The job's on the career path that I want, and I like the job itself. But the office is small, and i'm the youngest person by far. Everyone is also female (i'm female too) so there's no mix. There's just me and then 10 women who are 40+. So making friends/getting a social circle is definitely not going to come from work.

I live with two girls. One of them is great, but she's very family orientated and as her family are only an hour away she goes and stays with them most weekends. She doesn't have many friends here. The other is foreign, she has poor english and isn't interested in me/my other housemate at all. She's also hardly ever here.

It's just hit me that it's very unlikely that i'm going to get a group of friends here that are similar ages and have similar interests to me :frown:

It's really depressing. I've looked at some local clubs and stuff but a lot of them cost money and are out of my budget. I can't commit to any volunteering as my working hours vary largely each week.

I'm seriously considering moving back home and looking for a job which is at least vaguely related to what i'm doing now. I have a good friend base and lots of family at home. but it's very unlikely i'll find the job there that I have now.

...Help?

Reply 1

Pixie911

I probably wouldn't have done that. 300 miles is a long way to move. The job would have had to be near enough to perfect for me to even consider moving so far away.

The thing you have to remember is that a job is NOT simply a job. Your life will revolve around it whether you like it or not i.e your social circle, your house/apartment, the location.

I don't feel like I know enough details about this situation for me to categorically advise you to move or not to move, but you need to think about whether this job is really worth the hassle and stress it's causing. If it really is an amazing job then it may be worth sticking it out for a bit longer. Also, having had 3 months of experience, you could probably get something similar elsewhere. What is it that you do?

Life is short, do what makes you happy. There is no point going to work every day feeling miserable, and then spending all weekend feeling lonely.

Reply 2

bdj

Why not stick at the job, but look for alternative accommodation?

Reply 3

standreams

I have to confess, I am always slightly surprised by responses such as from the first poster, as I always forget that for some people relocation is a 'big deal.' Whereas I have always considered relocation to be a normal part of life.

I can understand your predicament, and it's good you've looked at practical solutions such as volunteering, joining clubs etc.

What time does your working day finish (at the latest)? There are plenty of volunteering opportunities which require evenings and weekends only. And a fair number of options allow some degree of flexibility- you are, after all, volunteering your time freely.

As for clubs and societies, running clubs tend to be very social and also cheap (I pay less than £20 for a whole year's membership). Plus there are obvious health advantages.

Your housing situation can be solved by looking for a more sociable houseshare. Obviously, people come and go, but a houseshare which is sociable now is more likely to attract friendly, sociable people in future- particularly if your landlord lets you vet future tenants (as most do- it is in their best interests to maintain a happy household).

Moving back home, given that you are happy in your job, would to my mind be unjustified in this situation and a mistake.

Reply 4

Tokyoround

Nah stick it out, this is the job you wanted. Just socialise outside of work. Join clubs, societies, hit the gym, go to networking events etc. There are lots of ways to meet other young professionals.

Reply 5

wren_

Original post by Pixie911

Life is short, do what makes you happy. There is no point going to work every day feeling miserable, and then spending all weekend feeling lonely.

Hmm see this resonates a lot with me! Life really is too short.

Original post by standreams

I have experienced this to some extent. I don't find it to be that odd but everyone in work seems shocked that i've moved for a job!

Original post by standreams

I can understand your predicament, and it's good you've looked at practical solutions such as volunteering, joining clubs etc.

What time does your working day finish (at the latest)? There are plenty of volunteering opportunities which require evenings and weekends only. And a fair number of options allow some degree of flexibility- you are, after all, volunteering your time freely.

At the latest, 9, and sometimes I have to start at 8. It's a very hands-on job, working with people, so I have to work around them.

Original post by standreams

As for clubs and societies, running clubs tend to be very social and also cheap (I pay less than £20 for a whole year's membership). Plus there are obvious health advantages.

Your housing situation can be solved by looking for a more sociable houseshare. Obviously, people come and go, but a houseshare which is sociable now is more likely to attract friendly, sociable people in future- particularly if your landlord lets you vet future tenants (as most do- it is in their best interests to maintain a happy household).

Moving back home, given that you are happy in your job, would to my mind be unjustified in this situation and a mistake.

Yeah, I guess you're right. I swear that good houseshares are hard to come by though, i've had some real problems over the years despite picking what (I think) are good housemates at the time!