This discussion is now closed.
Check out other Related discussions
- This girl still wants to b friends when i know she talks **** about me
- It wouldn’t fit in
- I am obsessed with a celebrity
- your opinions?
- Am I bad for feeling this way?
- My ex wants me back but I’m seeing someone new
- Girlfriend made my facebook account?
- My weird emotions
- Does my ex crush like me, please tell me
- is my boyfriend over his ex and does he even love me?
- Unfollowed my ex
- I think my ex crush likes me what is ur opinion
- I love him
- Gf broke up with me - should I fly over?
- Why does females not like men who don't drink
- Addicted to the smell of feet
- Why does my new bf keep looking
- Why are football pundits crap and nearly universally ex-footballers?
- how do i stop being so desperate for his attention??
- Friendships with ex-teachers
Have you had an obsessive ex?
I broke up with my ex officially nearly two years ago, and before that we were seperated. It was my decision and he took it pretty badly, but i said that if we could both handle it we could be friends. He lives around 3 hours from my home and 5 hours from my uni so it wasn't too much of an issue about us bumping into each other.
Initially he would text a lot which i could handle. But then i told him to stop. It got worse with him calling all the time, texting maybe 10 times a day (even when there was no response). Then the weird stuff started. Sending me pornographic images of women telling me what he was going to do with them, which i didn't give a flying so and so about. Sending me emails saying he was going to kill himself. After about six months i got fed up of the whole thing (he wasn't doing it constantly just every few weeks or so) and told him that i'd met someone else. I got the "how long have you been shagging around behind my back for?!?"
Anyway....i left him to it, and he continues to bug me every few months. Day before yesterday he texts saying he wants to talk, i ignore it. I don't want him knowing i have the same number (need to keep it for private reasons). Then he texts again telling me he's met some other woman (like a give a ****). That was the last straw and my mum ended up phoning him telling him if he doesn't stop then we'll go to the police. His reaction? "I don't know what her problem is and i'm not happy with this!" Bloody delusional idiot.
I have all the evidence, but it isn't constant he's not that stupid. Do i have grounds to go to the police? The phone network won't block him and i am getting another number so he can't contact me via that but he's very clever and has found other ways of getting in touch with me.
Any advice appreciated, apologies for long thread.
Initially he would text a lot which i could handle. But then i told him to stop. It got worse with him calling all the time, texting maybe 10 times a day (even when there was no response). Then the weird stuff started. Sending me pornographic images of women telling me what he was going to do with them, which i didn't give a flying so and so about. Sending me emails saying he was going to kill himself. After about six months i got fed up of the whole thing (he wasn't doing it constantly just every few weeks or so) and told him that i'd met someone else. I got the "how long have you been shagging around behind my back for?!?"
Anyway....i left him to it, and he continues to bug me every few months. Day before yesterday he texts saying he wants to talk, i ignore it. I don't want him knowing i have the same number (need to keep it for private reasons). Then he texts again telling me he's met some other woman (like a give a ****). That was the last straw and my mum ended up phoning him telling him if he doesn't stop then we'll go to the police. His reaction? "I don't know what her problem is and i'm not happy with this!" Bloody delusional idiot.
I have all the evidence, but it isn't constant he's not that stupid. Do i have grounds to go to the police? The phone network won't block him and i am getting another number so he can't contact me via that but he's very clever and has found other ways of getting in touch with me.
Any advice appreciated, apologies for long thread.
Scroll to see replies
Sheen
you shouldnt have to but you maye have to change your mobile number, you e-mail address etc so he cant bug you anymore.
he does seem abit strange
he does seem abit strange
That is the next step..unfortunately he knows where i live and he has gotten in contact via there before. He's not stalking me but he's screwing with my head. I've moved on long ago.
Sorry i forgot to say that i've changed it once since we split up but god knows how he found out what it was.
samba
The police arent going to buy "I needed to keep my number for private reasons"
He sounds a bit ill, but something you're saying doesn't ring true. Mind giving us the full story please?
btw: well done for not posting anon
He sounds a bit ill, but something you're saying doesn't ring true. Mind giving us the full story please?
btw: well done for not posting anon
If you're going to accuse me of lying you can at least tell me what you think i've lied about. If i was going to lie, i would have posted anon.
samba
No, if posting anonymous you have no reason to lie.
I didn't say you lied...I said something doesn't ring true. You're omitting stuff in the chronology of events.
I didn't say you lied...I said something doesn't ring true. You're omitting stuff in the chronology of events.
If i wrote down everything that had happened it would be an excessively long thread. Its called paraphrasing. Would you like to tell what aspects of it don't "ring true?". I know people who use this forum. I wouldn't be stupid enough to embellish things when they can read it and see it.
Stop being so defensive..I'm not trying to be mean...
Ok, heres where I don't get it.... he texts/calls/etcetc daily for several months, and gets no positive response at all.
He then escalates it to lewd images and emotional blackmail etc... completely obsessed with you quite clearly.
So you tell him you're seeing somebody...and after a bit of moaning he backs off..... Usually somebody obsessive like that would flip out, escalate action more, perhaps try to harm the lad your seeing, certainly have a big face off about it. Then he'd make a wedge between you.
But instead it tapers off to contacting you speculatively once every few months. He's done this now for over a year, and with no luck.
So now all of a sudden hes said innocuous stuff like he wants to talk and he has a gf or whatever, and suddenly you're considering going to the police about issues that mainly happened 18 months ago.....
I guess I just don't get whats triggered the reaction now, and why you want to be vindictive as opposed to just changing your number......
Ok, heres where I don't get it.... he texts/calls/etcetc daily for several months, and gets no positive response at all.
He then escalates it to lewd images and emotional blackmail etc... completely obsessed with you quite clearly.
So you tell him you're seeing somebody...and after a bit of moaning he backs off..... Usually somebody obsessive like that would flip out, escalate action more, perhaps try to harm the lad your seeing, certainly have a big face off about it. Then he'd make a wedge between you.
But instead it tapers off to contacting you speculatively once every few months. He's done this now for over a year, and with no luck.
So now all of a sudden hes said innocuous stuff like he wants to talk and he has a gf or whatever, and suddenly you're considering going to the police about issues that mainly happened 18 months ago.....
I guess I just don't get whats triggered the reaction now, and why you want to be vindictive as opposed to just changing your number......
samba
Stop being so defensive..I'm not trying to be mean...
Ok, heres where I don't get it.... he texts/calls/etcetc daily for several months, and gets no positive response at all.
He then escalates it to lewd images and emotional blackmail etc... completely obsessed with you quite clearly.
So you tell him you're seeing somebody...and after a bit of moaning he backs off..... Usually somebody obsessive like that would flip out, escalate action more, perhaps try to harm the lad your seeing, certainly have a big face off about it. Then he'd make a wedge between you.
But instead it tapers off to contacting you speculatively once every few months. He's done this now for over a year, and with no luck.
So now all of a sudden hes said innocuous stuff like he wants to talk and he has a gf or whatever, and suddenly you're considering going to the police about issues that mainly happened 18 months ago.....
I guess I just don't get whats triggered the reaction now, and why you want to be vindictive as opposed to just changing your number......
Ok, heres where I don't get it.... he texts/calls/etcetc daily for several months, and gets no positive response at all.
He then escalates it to lewd images and emotional blackmail etc... completely obsessed with you quite clearly.
So you tell him you're seeing somebody...and after a bit of moaning he backs off..... Usually somebody obsessive like that would flip out, escalate action more, perhaps try to harm the lad your seeing, certainly have a big face off about it. Then he'd make a wedge between you.
But instead it tapers off to contacting you speculatively once every few months. He's done this now for over a year, and with no luck.
So now all of a sudden hes said innocuous stuff like he wants to talk and he has a gf or whatever, and suddenly you're considering going to the police about issues that mainly happened 18 months ago.....
I guess I just don't get whats triggered the reaction now, and why you want to be vindictive as opposed to just changing your number......
Anyone saying "mind telling me the full story please" is going to get my back up. If you accuse me of something i will be defensive.
Just because something is "usually" done does not mean that there are not deviations from that. He lives five hours away and doesn't know what my partner at the time looked like. His anger is directed at me hence the "how long have you been screwing around behind my back" as he feels wronged in some way.
He is delusional. It doesn't matter what i try to do to get him to leave me alone he never does. I have threatened to contact the police before, and it works for a few months but then he gets in touch again. Even someone else talking to him about it (my mother) hasn't deterred him as he denied he had done anything wrong and said he didn't know what my problem was. It is not just affecting me when he contacts me as it isn't restricted to my mobile or my computer. He needs someone to tell him that no contact means no contact.
I don't expect you to understand, and i'm not going to carry on explaining until i get your approval that i'm being truthful either. I asked the question about having an obsessive ex because unless you've been in the situation it may be hard for you to understand.
My ex did the whole "I'm going to kill myself" malarky. How childish?
The only advice I can offer is to just to simply ignore it completely. If you give him any kind of reaction this will probably continue. It sucks, but if he even has a soul, eventually he will give up.
.... As long as he doen't do psycho stuff like turn up at your house.
The only advice I can offer is to just to simply ignore it completely. If you give him any kind of reaction this will probably continue. It sucks, but if he even has a soul, eventually he will give up.
.... As long as he doen't do psycho stuff like turn up at your house.
I can somewhat understand what you've been through, and honestly speaking, unless you've been in that position, you will not know.
One of my exes when I was about 16/17 was really obsessive (I'm now 21). He would be blank calling my landline and mobile, both numbers had to be changed. He would be standing outside my hours 24/7, literally. I'd go out, he'd be standing out there, I'd come back 3/4hours later he would still be standing there. It was horrible and made my life total hell. Often it would make me cry, I wouldn't want to answer the phone or leave the house. Eventually I had to call the police and thats how it ended...
A few months later, when I gained my confidence and strength back, I went on my mission for revenge
One of my exes when I was about 16/17 was really obsessive (I'm now 21). He would be blank calling my landline and mobile, both numbers had to be changed. He would be standing outside my hours 24/7, literally. I'd go out, he'd be standing out there, I'd come back 3/4hours later he would still be standing there. It was horrible and made my life total hell. Often it would make me cry, I wouldn't want to answer the phone or leave the house. Eventually I had to call the police and thats how it ended...
A few months later, when I gained my confidence and strength back, I went on my mission for revenge
Surely you can take out a TRO against the guy, cos that way you can keep your mobile number, and if he rings you, he'll be breaking the order.
I've had an obsessive ex before, but I got rid of them by pissing them off to such extreme levels they couldn't stand me anymore. Worked quite nicely too.
I've had an obsessive ex before, but I got rid of them by pissing them off to such extreme levels they couldn't stand me anymore. Worked quite nicely too.
I think this is a male thing to do rather than female....not saying there aren't bunny boilers around but a lot of the girls I'm friends with have problems with an ex, albeit not on the scale of Sarky's nutter. The ex texting saying "i still want you back" when the girl is in a relationship, or even when the guy is in a relationship, is quite common, a lass on my course gets about 3 or 4 texts a day from her ex who has another girlfriend, all about the same thing "breaking up with u was the worst mistake of my life, love u babes, lets make it work". I don't get why these fellas don't have a bit of personal pride and leave it.
Maybe its a male thing on territory, if they've "been there before" they always think they can have a bit again. A girl I know is happily settled with her new boyfriend and is 8 mths pregnant, she ran into her old boyfriend in town and chatted to him for a bit, then he texted her that evening saying "don't u wish deep down it was my baby, we could still be great together if only ud give it a try". Talk about inappropriate!
As for advice for sarky, I think the best strategy is little red sox. Ignore any attempts from him to contact you. I bet after a few months of being ignored day in, day out, he will get fed up.
Maybe its a male thing on territory, if they've "been there before" they always think they can have a bit again. A girl I know is happily settled with her new boyfriend and is 8 mths pregnant, she ran into her old boyfriend in town and chatted to him for a bit, then he texted her that evening saying "don't u wish deep down it was my baby, we could still be great together if only ud give it a try". Talk about inappropriate!
As for advice for sarky, I think the best strategy is little red sox. Ignore any attempts from him to contact you. I bet after a few months of being ignored day in, day out, he will get fed up.
damn i have!! very irritating. he just cant move on with his life. good thing he realize, after 1 year, that we were over. whew!!!
Arguably you could called me an 'obsessive ex'.
Ok, not obsessed.
I was with my ex for 5 years.
She went with someone behind my back whilst at uni, i figured this out. She just stopped making contact, didn't/hasn't ever declared us as over. She lives in the same neighbour hood too!
Wierd isn't it? This happend like 4 months ago.
Of course, pretty annoyed by this but also have seen her true colours, so when i once loved her, i now hate her.
Text her every now and again. Never ring or make threats, although occasionally when pissed i do ask what the hell she was doing.
Although, i am going to beat the **** out of her new 'friend' if given the chance.
Am i wrong to do this?
Ok, not obsessed.
I was with my ex for 5 years.
She went with someone behind my back whilst at uni, i figured this out. She just stopped making contact, didn't/hasn't ever declared us as over. She lives in the same neighbour hood too!
Wierd isn't it? This happend like 4 months ago.
Of course, pretty annoyed by this but also have seen her true colours, so when i once loved her, i now hate her.
Text her every now and again. Never ring or make threats, although occasionally when pissed i do ask what the hell she was doing.
Although, i am going to beat the **** out of her new 'friend' if given the chance.
Am i wrong to do this?
Talk to him, wen u ignore someone they just wanna speak to u more!
mc_watson87
Talk to him, wen u ignore someone they just wanna speak to u more!
Awful advice.
I'd report him to the police for harassment. If you have evidence they can put a restraining order on him so he can't talk to you or contact you.
Otherwise: change all your numbers, email addresses and do not give them to any one you believe to be in contact with him. Change your name on MSN if necessary
Otherwise: change all your numbers, email addresses and do not give them to any one you believe to be in contact with him. Change your name on MSN if necessary
Related discussions
- This girl still wants to b friends when i know she talks **** about me
- It wouldn’t fit in
- I am obsessed with a celebrity
- your opinions?
- Am I bad for feeling this way?
- My ex wants me back but I’m seeing someone new
- Girlfriend made my facebook account?
- My weird emotions
- Does my ex crush like me, please tell me
- is my boyfriend over his ex and does he even love me?
- Unfollowed my ex
- I think my ex crush likes me what is ur opinion
- I love him
- Gf broke up with me - should I fly over?
- Why does females not like men who don't drink
- Addicted to the smell of feet
- Why does my new bf keep looking
- Why are football pundits crap and nearly universally ex-footballers?
- how do i stop being so desperate for his attention??
- Friendships with ex-teachers
Latest
Trending
Last reply 5 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 5 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutTrending
Last reply 5 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 5 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset about
