Muslim girl falling for no muslim guy

Hi,
I'm new here and I was wondering if I could please have some advice.
I have this really great friend who I've known for almost 6 years now but I never was that close to him but in the last 9 months I've become really quite close to him.
I find him hilarious and we just get on so well. We text all the time and I just think he's an amazing friend. We stay up texting till really late (sometimes till 4am) even if we have a 9am lecture. I don't know if he even likes me because he has so many other female friends and he may just see me as a good friend. I started to develop feelings for him but didn't tell him and instead told him I didn't want to talk to him but he said he wouldn't ever stop talking to me but it was my choice if I reply back. But that's the thing he knows I'll always reply back. We started talking less after that but about two months ago I was going through a rough time and he was there for me and supported me so much. Now we're back to talking all the time and I think I'm falling for him. I feel like I should maybe stop talking to him as I know nothing could ever happen between us as he's not muslim. And this isn't because my parents would disapprove, it's purely because I want a muslim husband. But I do love this guys personality.
I haven't told him how I feel as I'm worried he doesn't feel the same way...and worse still I'm worried he may tell other friends which would just make things awkward.
Should I stop talking to him permanently? If so please could you advise me as to do this without hurting his feelings.

Thank you.

Reply 1

jadys10

14

The heart want what it wants. Since after so long you can't forget him, you might as well satisfy what you want to do deep down even if your rational side is against it. Don't think of every guy you like as a potential husband. Enjoy life. Even if he does last that long and asks you to marry him, by then, your views and preference of marrying a Muslim husband would have changed. Your parents aren't against it either so that's also a good sign. It's hard to find love, harder still to find someone who loves you back, so don't miss this opportunity that God gave you.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by jadys10

The heart want what it wants. Since after so long you can't forget him, you might as well satisfy what you want to do deep down even if your rational side is against it. Don't think of every guy you like as a potential husband. Enjoy life. Even if he does last that long and asks you to marry him, by then, your views and preference of marrying a Muslim husband would have changed. Your parents aren't against it either so that's also a good sign. It's hard to find love, harder still to find someone who loves you back, so don't miss this opportunity that God gave you.

Ah thank you for the reply and I completely understand why you're saying that. But I don't want anything short term...and I don't mean for this to come across in a bad way but the reason I want a muslim husband is because I want someone who shares the same values as me...for example I don't drink and don't like being around alcohol etc. He does drink etc which makes me think long term we wouldn't be good for each other.
Plus I would never want him to change for me...I would only want change to happen if he himself wanted to.
Not too long ago he asked me if muslims were allowed to date non muslims and what I thought about it...and then shortly after it was my birthday and he ordered me a birthday present to my house which I thought was so thoughtful.
So I know he's a good guy and I know that I like him but I have to be realistic and think of things long term. Like I said I don't want to be in a relationship which doesn't or won't have a future.
I feel like I should just try and let go and get over him...but I don't know how to do it without upsetting him.
Do you have any ideas please?
He just messaged me now :frown:

Thanks again.

Reply 3

jadys10

14

Original post by Anonymous

Ah thank you for the reply and I completely understand why you're saying that. But I don't want anything short term...and I don't mean for this to come across in a bad way but the reason I want a muslim husband is because I want someone who shares the same values as me...for example I don't drink and don't like being around alcohol etc. He does drink etc which makes me think long term we wouldn't be good for each other.
Plus I would never want him to change for me...I would only want change to happen if he himself wanted to.
Not too long ago he asked me if muslims were allowed to date non muslims and what I thought about it...and then shortly after it was my birthday and he ordered me a birthday present to my house which I thought was so thoughtful.
So I know he's a good guy and I know that I like him but I have to be realistic and think of things long term. Like I said I don't want to be in a relationship which doesn't or won't have a future.
I feel like I should just try and let go and get over him...but I don't know how to do it without upsetting him.
Do you have any ideas please?
He just messaged me now :frown:

Thanks again.

If you think he genuinely cares about you then go for it. You can't really judge until you've tried. Even if it doesn't last, at least you'll have the memories. He might even change on his own accord for you. There are non Muslim guys out there who do share the same values, you just need to find them.

Does he drink excessively or not? Because it's bad if he does.

Getting over someone takes time. It'll be very hard. Distancing yourself helps but you don't want it to be awkward so try to hang out and do normal things together from time to time.

Have you thought about if he asks you about it one day, and tells you he likes you, would you be able to handle it?

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by jadys10

If you think he genuinely cares about you then go for it. You can't really judge until you've tried. Even if it doesn't last, at least you'll have the memories. He might even change on his own accord for you. There are non Muslim guys out there who do share the same values, you just need to find them.

Does he drink excessively or not? Because it's bad if he does.

Getting over someone takes time. It'll be very hard. Distancing yourself helps but you don't want it to be awkward so try to hang out and do normal things together from time to time.

Have you thought about if he asks you about it one day, and tells you he likes you, would you be able to handle it?

Not sure if I would be able to handle it :frown:

I mean it would be great to hear that he likes me in that way...but then again that would make it awkward as I would have to respond to that.

At the same time even if he did like me I don't think he would tell me as he knows me quite well. Like he knows that I probably would distance myself from him and he's said to me plenty of time he always wants me in his life and how he wouldn't be able to handle it if I wasnt. So for that reason I don't think he tell me.

Also we never go out alone together, we always invite other people...but even though we're all together its always usually me and him to one side yapping away.

We talk more now via texting (everyday) and I don't usually go out with him anymore even though he always invites me. I always make some sort of an excuse.
And when I go out he's always asking where his invite is but I always make an excuse. I feel like if we spent time texting AND always seeing each other it will make things much harder.

And yh I totally agree with you about non muslims guys sharing the same values but some guys I think find it hard changing views on certain things, e.g alcohol. And also there's the whole no sex before marriage...these things can sometimes be hard for a person to take in especially when their lifestyle has never been like that.
And I wouldn't want to be the reason why they can't do all the things they enjoy. But at the same time I wouldn't ever change my morals and values.

Thanks again

Muslim girl falling for no muslim guy

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you