Help - What's my move ?

Get to know her of course, surely you know what questions to ask, whether they're appropriate etc. (Of course, you have to resist the urge to touch someone you don't really know; if you can't, ask to hold her hand)

Just get to know her, if you want to ask her out stick with it. When you feel you know a lot about her just bring up who you or her likes in general conversation.

Have you met the girl again since you posted?

Sounds like someone who should perhaps be helped with her problems either by a professional or else at arm's length, particularly if you have a woeful record

Sounds like someone who should perhaps be helped with her problems either by a professional or else at arm's length, particularly if you have a woeful record

Yeah, the "person with a stinking attitude arising from problems which (s)he believes are not his/her fault" is very hard to deal with. If that is what their character is defined as, sadly they shouldn't have friends. Since not only are their behaviours irrational, they dare to rationalize their behaviours (make excuses) and this is not a kind of person you'd want to be around.

Well, at least you're prepared, I guess. The problem I would have is that I have a very no-nonsense approach to relationships, which may not be best for someone facing delicate issues/sensitivities. You can't really tell people to 'pull themselves together', and that 'their insecurity is making them unattractive/you don't want to be in a relationship with a child'.. in those circumstances. Flip side is that as a partner you are well placed to deliver strong leadership and help them avoid relapses

It's human nature to fill voids, and gravitate towards people with whom our interests/issues gain traction, so yes, often the case

I had an ex who had issues at home. It was difficult not to get involved and she was still living at home so I had to be very measured. Have to watch (divisive) 'them and us' attitudes don't develop, kids need their parents and parents rarely need much of an excuse to take a dim view of a boyfriend (esp fathers)..

Then it's probably best to let other people help them with their issues and just be there as a supportive friend or partner. A potential problem I have with leadership is that I forget that not everyone is like me e.g. stoical/rational/perspicacious. It's all very well demonstrating these things but if the other person hasn't been on the same journey/is cut from a different cloth it may actually be unhelpful e.g. a (further) source of inadequacy/generating a dependency issue

I never went over to hers, I rarely brought her family up and when I did I tried to stay out of it, and I never told her exactly what I thought of the behaviour of her parents - instead I expressed a wish for things to improve and offered the odd suggestion e.g. 'I think perhaps you should pick a calm moment to sit down with your mum and get her on board'

Then the people in the life of the concerned individual have a duty to support them in so far as they are able of course, but where serious mental health issues are involved one should always refer them on to a professional like their GP. HCPs/MHCPs, and the pills they throw at people, are rarely 'the solution' however, and more often than not love, support and understanding are the best medicine