Sorry if this could be in a better place, feel free to move it.
Basically I'm coming to the end of my PhD* and the antagonising over what to do next has set in. I've posted in various other places but I thought I'd rejoin TSR after several years as well to gather some other opinions - I used to be a member here back in my late teens and enjoyed the discussion and camaraderie (well, in the academic forums at least).
Research was obviously what I wanted to do when I set out to do my PhD - I had a reasonably decent job between undergrad and postgrad and wasn't exactly enthused by it. Felt so much more alive going back to academia. I'm generally passionate about what I'm researching now, although the apathy obviously sets in every now and then. I'm just not sure at this point if I'd enjoy being a researcher and all the uncertainty that comes with it; yes, I'll likely love what I do, and yes there are postdoc posts available in my field, but they're still competitive and funding is never guaranteed for too long. Do I want to go the professorial route eventually? Maybe. I do enjoy teaching. But getting that kind of post is even more competitive than postdoc posts.
The other option would be taking a sideways step into the business world or wherever and hopefully getting a permanent role that, while I might not be overly enthusiastic about, would let me work hard and have a stable income.
My girlfriend is a postdoc at the moment and loves what she does, but I kind of feel one of us should be more stable. I'm looking to propose to her soon and, even though she makes her own money, I kind of feel like I have to be a decent provider if we're going to have kids in the future. If we're both on potentially uncertain contracts, that makes me feel uneasy.
I'm also worried that all this meandering is pointless and I'll be forced to work in an unrelated role anyway as research posts are so competitive. I'm a decent researcher at a top uni, but I'm far from the best.
Not really looking for advice so much as a place to vent my angst and get a discussion going. Anyone else in this situation?
*In STEM, so there are posts available, though competitive. I'd rather not go into more detail in a public forum in case my supervisor or someone reads this and sees how I'm getting a bit apathetic. Feel free to PM me for more details.