What would you say about a 22 year old having feelings for a 16 year old?

Um I'm 21... :redface:

It depends on the girl. Some 16year old i know are more mature than I am and some act as if they're 12... so it does depend on the individual

Oops, my bad :rofl:

I meant on average though, I'm sure some are mature but it doesn't make sense to talk about exceptions to the rule.

Reply 41

bj27

21

Do it if you really want to, I personally would not do it however. She's just come out of Secondary school...

I think 18 years and over is just about doable for a 22 year old and I guess 20+ is acceptable regardless of age of the partner because they have the maturity to make their own decisions.

Original post by ABeingOnEarth

Woow, I didn't know TSR has got so many pedo sympathisers.

While I disagree personally with being with a 16 year old at the age of 22, paedo is the wrong term to use here. Ephebo is the more correct term to use.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 42

Ethereal World

3

Original post by ZuluK

Um I'm 21... :redface:

It depends on the girl. Some 16year old i know are more mature than I am and some act as if they're 12... so it does depend on the individual

But that's suggesting using your brain and adapting to situations rather than submitting to societal judgement?! :rolleyes:

Reply 43

ZuluK

17

Original post by BhagwanNoBhool

Oops, my bad :rofl:

I meant on average though, I'm sure some are mature but it doesn't make sense to talk about exceptions to the rule.

Lol don't worry.. Some think I'm a guy :colonhash:

Well, why not? If there are exceptions to the rule, then it's up to them. I think it's because the girl is 16. If it was 22 year and 30 year old... It'd be less frowned upon even though there's the age gap and maturity. IMO, as long as she's consenting and happy, who are we to say anything else?

Reply 44

ANM775

20

Original post by Ethereal World

Ultimately, the 'law' and societal constructs serve as a good guide but you can use other human instincts to decide on an ad hoc basis dependent on the situation.

The law states a 16 year old is legal to have sex with anyone else above the age of 16; it doesn't state an upper limit.

That's basically what it is, societal constructs. Ultimately there is no right or wrong answer per say, as in some places you're a pedo if you have sex with a girl a below 21, and in some places like 11 or 12 is the age of consent or there is no age of consent.

In some places you get stoned to death if being caught alone with a man who is not a blood relative. It's all "societal constructs"

basically a small group of aging politicians in the land you live in have got together in a room one day over brunch and decided who you can and can't be attracted to. And called it a Law. If there is not a super backlash from society, then these laws likely stay in place for years to come.

I can see why there are laws in place [to protect children being sexually exploited], ... however, you've got to ask yourself is every 16 year old in this country physically and mentally prepared for sex? are there some 19 year olds who are still not ready? are there some 14 year olds who are ready.

perhaps some sort of psychological examination by a trained professional would be more accurate in deciding what age someone should be able to have sex act rather than a one size fit all approach.

but at the end of the day, in answer to the OP's question, there is really no right or wrong answer as depending where you are in the world opinion will differ drastically, and who are we to say one countries opinion is more valid than another.

Reply 45

Ethereal World

3

Original post by ANM775

That's basically what it is, societal constructs. Ultimately there is no right or wrong answer per say, as in some places you're a pedo if you have sex with a girl a below 21, and in some places like 11 or 12 is the age of consent or there is no age of consent.

In some places you get stoned to death if being caught alone with a man who is not a blood relative. It's all "societal constructs"

basically a small group of aging politicians in the land you live in have got together in a room one day over brunch and decided who you can and can't be attracted to. And called it a Law. If there is not a super backlash from society, then these laws likely stay in place for years to come.

I can see why there are laws in place [to protect children being sexually exploited], ... however, you've got to ask yourself is every 16 year old in this country physically and mentally prepared for sex? are there some 19 year olds who are still not ready? are there some 14 year olds who are ready.

perhaps some sort of psychological examination by a trained professional would be more accurate in deciding what age someone should be able to have sex act rather than a one size fit all approach.

but at the end of the day, in answer to the OP's question, there is really no right or wrong answer as depending where you are in the world opinion will differ drastically, and who are we to say one countries opinion is more valid than another.

Basically this. That's what I alluded to when I said they are merely a guide; instinct and human nature can be far more useful in a lot of situations, whilst of course staying within the law in terms of potential consequences. If 16 and above is legal, judgement is far more valuable than societal constructs in determining whether it is appropriate. Infact that can be said for anyone above the age of 16 really because as you say, some 19 year olds may not be ready.

Reply 46

BhagwanNoBhool

2

Original post by ZuluK

Lol don't worry.. Some think I'm a guy :colonhash:

Well, why not? If there are exceptions to the rule, then it's up to them. I think it's because the girl is 16. If it was 22 year and 30 year old... It'd be less frowned upon even though there's the age gap and maturity. IMO, as long as she's consenting and happy, who are we to say anything else?

But maturity is sorta inverse exponential. As you get older, the rate you mature at rapidly decreases. The maturity difference between a 22 and a 30 year old, is very different to the maturity difference between a 20 year old and a 12 year old.
The problem is whether she's mature enough to consent in the first place to that sort of relationship, I mean my sister's 15 but I would not be convinced if she was dating a 19 year old. I'd probably feel really uneasy actually.
You can't deny there's a difference in the type of relationship between two 16 year olds and a 16 year old with a 22 year old.

If they are an exception to the rule, then sure go for it by all means. But who decides whether they are mature enough? Do we do a test? How would that even work? Go by their feelings? I'm sure most 16 year olds feel or think they are mature, but are they really? Do we ask the older person? Of course they're gonna say yes, they want to proceed with the relationship.
That's why taking into account exceptions is so difficult, it's much easier to just use averages.
Also I don't think OP said how mature the 16 y/o was.

Spoiler

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 47

Lord Samosa

19

As long as you're not going to sexually or emotional manipulate her, then there's no problem I guess, I mean it's still legal.

But personally I wouldn't date someone younger than 18 (17 at a push) :redface:

Reply 48

phunky_fresh

14

Personally I don't see the appeal. But it's up to you! When I was 15, an 18 year old guy was interested in me. Although i was quite mature for my age, I just thought it was weird since I was still in school and he was an adult.

Reply 49

username1539513

21

They're barely legal; c'mon, Rob. That's just wrong.

What would you have in common with a 16 year old, maturity wise?

Reply 50

Kvothe the Arcane

20

It depends on their maturity levels and the dynamic of the relationship but I would not automatically say anything.

I moved out and had my first apartment at 16. My sister did the same. I know others that have too. And there are some people in their early 30s who don't even know how to cook and act like children!

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 51

username2513079

4

I don't think its wrong but it depends on how she's feeling too.

Reply 52

thunder_chunky

19

Depends on the situation. It is legal though.

Reply 53

ChaoticButterfly

20

Nothing inherently wrong with it.

Reply 54

Zarek

21

Bonkers mate. Her dad will kill you anyway

Reply 55

indigofox

12

I quite fancied a 16 year old lad when I was 21/22, he was cute and had muscles.

Reply 56

Youngmetro

2

Original post by xobeauty

Quality over quantity.

Limits
Boundaries... Try it.

I'm done telling you about yourself bye.

Considering you would go for a guy for money i dont think you're in much of a position to talk lmaoo

Reply 57

sophiechill

Depends on the maturity of the girl, homestly i was 16 and he was 24 whwn me and ny now fiancé started seeing each other. I was mature for my age and he was a but immature and so it worked well :smile: