Boyfriend Can't Finger Me, Hurts like Hell! (virgin)

So I'm 16 and a virgin just got my first bf, hes a lovely guy but does have massive hands. Anyway he's tried fingering me a few times (with Vaseline and normal lube) and just can't get it in more than a bit without it REALLY hurting me. I've also tried fingering myself a bit but even tho I have smaller hands I can't get in? I can get myself to orgasm by rubbing my clit. But is there something wrong w me like having vaginusmus? Dw to see my doctor as shes someone my mum knows personally and its embarassing :cry:

Reply 1

Blood_Orange

12

I assume you're doing some other form of foreplay first? Not just going straight to lube? And is it just one finger? I had some issues with there being pain down there but persisting I've found gets you there.

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

Many sexual health clinics offer general advice and could probably help you out more than even a GP, you could try searching for one locally and call to see if they offer appointments/advice?

NHS Clinic Finder <-- search there.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Blood_Orange

I assume you're doing some other form of foreplay first? Not just going straight to lube? And is it just one finger? I had some issues with there being pain down there but persisting I've found gets you there.

Yeah he's getting me wet, using lube etc and just the one finger. I've also tried it myself but either way it feels like there's some sort of barrier its sooo painful past a bit! :cry:

Idk how he's ever gonna get his manhood in :/ Did you just keep trying or use a diff technique or summat?

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

Many sexual health clinics offer general advice and could probably help you out more than even a GP, you could try searching for one locally and call to see if they offer appointments/advice?

NHS Clinic Finder <-- search there.

Thanks is this really something I could go to a clinic for tho? Not like I need the morning after pill or summat haha

Reply 5

Zasty

19

people on tsr hate doctors

Reply 6

Amy06

10

Yeah it's something you can go to a sexual health clinic for :smile:

I went to one for my vaginismus, went back for my implant a few months later x

They handle all sexual health related things :smile:

Reply 7

Anonymous #4

Hey chick,

First of all , sex is 10000% over rated. Vaginas are really horribly sensitive and my first time it hurt too.

Don’t rush into things , I’m no expert but I know that if your not 100% in the mood , things won’t go well. If this is something you really want to do then you should probably try kissing etc first before you get into anything like that , it helps loosen everything if your stimulated .

Also , the clit is so so sensitive , you have to be so gentle with it and it’s uncomfortable at first untill your mind really gets in the mood.

Can I just add I didn’t loose my virginity in any form untill 18 so don’t feel pressured into that yet xx

Also PLEASE don’t put Vaseline up there. The Ph of your vagina can be thrown off so easily even washing the area with soap which can lead to painful UTI (urinary tract infections ) xx

Everyone gets stimulated in different ways , so perhaps you just haven’t figured yours out yet xx google will tell you your dying from a cough so don’t worry about going to the doctors , your just a normal teenager beginning to learn more about her body and don’t worry I went through all this a few years ago !x

If your not ready for that kind of stuff yet he should respect that ❤️

All the best x - S

Reply 8

Anonymous #5

You're young don't rush into things.

I was like this, though I didn't have vaginismus. I couldn't even fit a tampon in me.

relax, and take things slow no need to rush into things.

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Thanks is this really something I could go to a clinic for tho? Not like I need the morning after pill or summat haha

Lots of them offer general advice, not just stuff like the pill etc. Definitely worth looking through your local ones and calling them to ask.

Reply 10

xoxAngel_Kxox

21

It doesn't matter how big his hands are, the fact is that your vagina is capable of expanding to the width of a baby's shoulders, and there's no penis or finger on this planet that's that big.

If you're a virgin there's a chance your hymen is still intact, but I wouldn't have thought that would stop you from being able to have a finger inside you.

If you are concerned then why not book an appointment with your GP to talk about your worries? They would then be able to (most probably) put your mind at ease and tell you everything's normal, and if that's the case then it really is just a case of taking it slow and starting with the smallest finger.. you will get there :smile:

.

Reply 11

Anonymous #3

Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox

It doesn't matter how big his hands are, the fact is that your vagina is capable of expanding to the width of a baby's shoulders, and there's no penis or finger on this planet that's that big.

Think again :smug:

Reply 12

username3434964

21

Original post by Zasty

people on tsr hate doctors

Hmmm I thought everyone on TSR studied medicine? :colonhash:

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Elektra06

Yeah it's something you can go to a sexual health clinic for :smile:

I went to one for my vaginismus, went back for my implant a few months later x

They handle all sexual health related things :smile:

Original post by Anonymous

Lots of them offer general advice, not just stuff like the pill etc. Definitely worth looking through your local ones and calling them to ask.

Thanks guys, I'll have a look :smile:

can you request to see a woman only? I don't feel comfortable with a man doctor haha. Also Elektra if you dont mind me asking how did you handle your vaginismus, do you have to take any medicines or anything?

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

You're young don't rush into things.

I was like this, though I didn't have vaginismus. I couldn't even fit a tampon in me.

relax, and take things slow no need to rush into things.

thanks so much :smile:

i guess i feel a bit disappointed cuz he's 18 and i know he's had a gf before so he's patient when we're in bed but he's tried to finger me 4 times and i'm guessing must be frustrated! how did you work through it if u dont mind me asking? Thats another thing i've never been able to do...

Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox

It doesn't matter how big his hands are, the fact is that your vagina is capable of expanding to the width of a baby's shoulders, and there's no penis or finger on this planet that's that big.

If you're a virgin there's a chance your hymen is still intact, but I wouldn't have thought that would stop you from being able to have a finger inside you.

If you are concerned then why not book an appointment with your GP to talk about your worries? They would then be able to (most probably) put your mind at ease and tell you everything's normal, and if that's the case then it really is just a case of taking it slow and starting with the smallest finger.. you will get there :smile:

.

Thank you

Couldn't the hymen tear or something though if I fingered myself? heard horror stories about girls bleeding when theyre fingered the first time. and it does feel just sooo tight that could be the hymen. past a certain point im in agony. I would but my GP's someone mam knows so it might be awkward, would you recommend going to a sexual health clinic like people have said?

Reply 15

goggleyed

19

damn either your hole is tiny or his fingers are massive...

Reply 16

Anonymous #6

Original post by Anonymous

So I'm 16 and a virgin just got my first bf, hes a lovely guy but does have massive hands. Anyway he's tried fingering me a few times (with Vaseline and normal lube) and just can't get it in more than a bit without it REALLY hurting me. I've also tried fingering myself a bit but even tho I have smaller hands I can't get in? I can get myself to orgasm by rubbing my clit. But is there something wrong w me like having vaginusmus? Dw to see my doctor as shes someone my mum knows personally and its embarassing :cry:

Pretty simple, see a doctor.

You don’t have to go to your GP, go to a GUM clinic

Reply 17

Amy06

10

Original post by Anonymous

Thanks guys, I'll have a look :smile:

can you request to see a woman only? I don't feel comfortable with a man doctor haha. Also Elektra if you dont mind me asking how did you handle your vaginismus, do you have to take any medicines or anything?

You can request to see a female yeah but if its a sexual health clinic most are anyway :smile:

I in the end just kept trying but we just went slowly and used loads of lube. i switched to the implant so we stopped trying with condoms and i'm not sure sure if that really helped or if it just got easier. my doctor gave me dilators too and i went to counselling. theres not usually any pills that can help aside from pinpointing the reason xo all of this helped but its still hard sometimes. we see each other once a month so when we first try its hard but usually works the second try a day or few later :smile:

Reply 18

Kryicin

1

Original post by goggleyed

damn either your hole is tiny or his fingers are massive...

Or it can be a combination of both.

Reply 19

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Elektra06

You can request to see a female yeah but if its a sexual health clinic most are anyway :smile:

I in the end just kept trying but we just went slowly and used loads of lube. i switched to the implant so we stopped trying with condoms and i'm not sure sure if that really helped or if it just got easier. my doctor gave me dilators too and i went to counselling. theres not usually any pills that can help aside from pinpointing the reason xo all of this helped but its still hard sometimes. we see each other once a month so when we first try its hard but usually works the second try a day or few later :smile:

Thank you x :smile:

Still no luck ahhh :cry: