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The Long Distance Relationship Society Advice Centre

Reply 180

Angelil

19

Kittten - you're experiencing what we deem the LDR hangover :wink:

Come to the chat thread if you like (link in my and wtid's sigs).

Reply 181

SmilerNuts

15

Kittten

I'm in Frankfurt., which is where my BF comes from (hehe some of the Frankfurter jokes my English frends have made... :rolleyes:

)

I was in Frankfurt a couple of weeks ago. The prostitutes were delightful :biggrin:

Reply 182

wtid

OP

Kittten

Nope. Is it a nice place?

I was only there once but it was nice from what I saw...most German towns seem to be nice from what I've seen :smile:

Anyway we better not say any more about this, since this is the advice centre and we'll get in trouble for spamming.

Reply 183

Anonymous #10

hey im in a bit if a situation,

heres the short story

i met this girl about few months ago, i really like her, nd not sure how much she likes me back. bascially i live in berkshire, she lives in essex thats 2 hours drive or changin trains lloads like 5 times to see her. she is only 16 thought so she wont be allowed to stay over mine so we have to meet where there is a way of getting her back to her house.

i am about to go to university as well in october which doesnt help things.

bascially i want to ask

how does everyone think i can work it?
her birthday is coming up, wat can i maybe do to help the situation?
and jsut general advice would be great help!

thanksx

Reply 184

Angelil

19

If surely both of you are over the age of consent then I don't see how sleeping over at the same place together, even in separate rooms, could be a problem.

There's absolutely no reason why it couldn't work - plenty of us in this soc (including my good self) are in international LDRs and we manage perfectly well. I've been with my boyfriend for 3.5 years in this arrangement, in fact, and we hope to live together from next year.

If her birthday is coming up, send a card and a small gift, with just a few honest words about what her presence in your life means to you. The ball will then be in her court (assuming of course that she takes the hint!).

The main thing in these LDR thingies is communication - I speak with my boyfriend every single day, whether it's by phone, text, email or MSN. It's so important to be in touch regularly, even if you've got nothing better to say other than what you've had for tea...

Reply 185

m4n0ran

Cyber sex is your friend.

Bog off

I have been with my present girlfriend for 2 and a half years and we r both heading off to uni in sept time, unfortunately different unis. she means alot to me and i can't see anything in my life happening without her in it. she has also just gone on holiday and am finding that impossible to deal with and its only a week! i dnt no how i can going to cope at university without seeing her everyday! we have agreed to keep things flexible communication wise so as not to feel bound by one another but other than that we have decided nothing. i was wondering if anyone had any advice, absoultyl anything! i want to make this work, i have 2 as she means so much to me and can;t bear the thought of loosing her. i would be truely grateful of your words of wisdom as i understand u speak from experince thank you

Reply 188

SmilerNuts

15

Loads of folk will be in LDRs at uni so you wont be alone anyway. Just keep yourself busy and don't dwell on not being able to see them, or make sure you have a date scheduled for seeing them so you've got something to look forward to.
As long as you talk plenty and don't let the distance overwhelm you it'll be fine :smile:

Reply 189

蘋果

9

Out of curiousity, how often do yous [people in LDR] meet.

Is 7 times in 23 months 'normal' (And during 6 times the meeting only lasted around 6 hours for each time) - with a distance of 400+ miles?

Reply 190

wtid

OP

Keni

Out of curiousity, how often do yous [people in LDR] meet.

Is 7 times in 23 months 'normal' (And during 6 times the meeting only lasted around 6 hours for each time) - with a distance of 400+ miles?

When I was in my LDR (Sheffield - Hannover, 500ish miles) we met about 10 times in a year and a half, although most of those times were for 2 weeks, so make of that what you will.

Reply 191

hbandtr4eva

2

Well I'm about 150-200 miles away from my boyfriend and saw him every 3 weeks when we were apart for Uni (apart from all the other sneaky visits in between that my family don't know about) and that was normally for 4/5 days at a time and then we see each other every other day at home because we're 30mins drive away from each other. I'd say that seems like an awfully small amount of time together over 23 months - it wouldn't be so bad if it was for a week or so at a time but 6 hours?!? Seems a bit bizarre to me, where is he? I see you're in Scotland, have the two of you been together long? Sorry for all the questions :redface:

Come here if you want to chat - it's where all us LDR-ers hang out - we're lovely, honest! :smile:

Reply 192

22KT22

15

Keni

Out of curiousity, how often do yous [people in LDR] meet.

Is 7 times in 23 months 'normal' (And during 6 times the meeting only lasted around 6 hours for each time) - with a distance of 400+ miles?

where abouts do you both live?

i think the main question is are you happy with this amount? you cant compare your relationship to other peoples as everyones is different. if you're not happy with this... is there anyway you can change it? can you see each other more or see each other for longer when you do? the other thing you have to do is speak to your other half... see if he feels the same perhaps its something you can work on. communication is key. if he wants to change it and you do too it gives you a starting point at least.

Reply 193

suek

17

Keni

Out of curiousity, how often do yous [people in LDR] meet.

Is 7 times in 23 months 'normal' (And during 6 times the meeting only lasted around 6 hours for each time) - with a distance of 400+ miles?

Varies with me, been with my boy for four months now and we've met four times for 3-5 days each time. He lives in Denmark.

So once a month average, I guess. Spending three weeks together in the summer, and from then, I'll be a lot more flexible so hope to see him more often, finances allowing.

Doesn't really matter what's normal for one couple to the next though - the most anybody can do in an LDR is what suits them, and that has to be enough for you :smile:

So is it?

How far apart are you and your boyfriend?

Reply 194

蘋果

9

hbandtr4eva

Well I'm about 150-200 miles away from my boyfriend and saw him every 3 weeks when we were apart for Uni (apart from all the other sneaky visits in between that my family don't know about) and that was normally for 4/5 days at a time and then we see each other every other day at home because we're 30mins drive away from each other. I'd say that seems like an awfully small amount of time together over 23 months - it wouldn't be so bad if it was for a week or so at a time but 6 hours?!? Seems a bit bizarre to me, where is he? I see you're in Scotland, have the two of you been together long? Sorry for all the questions :redface:

Come here if you want to chat - it's where all us LDR-ers hang out - we're lovely, honest! :smile:

SHE is from England.
Its my girlfriend!, not boyfriend Lol. =p
Once out of the 7 meetings, I stayed over at hers for 4 days. But the other times was only a 1-day trip consisting of around 6 hours drive each way.
Well we met in holiday 23months ago - found out we were both in UK and then 7 meetings since then.
Lol and questions are fine ^^.
And Ill take a trip to the link. =]

i think the main question is are you happy with this amount? you cant compare your relationship to other peoples as everyones is different. if you're not happy with this... is there anyway you can change it? can you see each other more or see each other for longer when you do? the other thing you have to do is speak to your other half... see if he feels the same perhaps its something you can work on. communication is key. if he wants to change it and you do too it gives you a starting point at least.

We resort talking a lot on the phone and the amount, we meet isnt enough and we both agree on that but theres nothing that could be changed about its since we both cant drive. She wants us to phone non-stop as a result. And I know I cant compare to others but I want to hear other's experiences ^^.

Reply 195

22KT22

15

Keni

SHE is from England.
Its my girlfriend!, not boyfriend Lol. =p
Once out of the 7 meetings, I stayed over at hers for 4 days. But the other times was only a 1-day trip consisting of around 6 hours drive each way.
Well we met in holiday 23months ago - found out we were both in UK and then 7 meetings since then.
Lol and questions are fine ^^.
And Ill take a trip to the link. =]

We resort talking a lot on the phone and the amount, we meet isnt enough and we both agree on that but theres nothing that could be changed about its since we both cant drive. She wants us to phone non-stop as a result. And I know I cant compare to others but I want to hear other's experiences ^^.

sorry i didnt see the gender thing next to your name :redface:

is there no way you can meet halfway and stay in a hotel for a week, get some time alone and more time than you want? wouldnt be as expensive and would be something you guys could look forward too. do you have any idea when you're not seeing each other? planning the next trip is kind of the light at the end of the tunnel and makes the pain of not seeing each other more bareable. have you tried skype? if not its free and would save you a lot of money, if youve already got it ignore this sentance!

Reply 196

hbandtr4eva

2

Keni

SHE is from England.
Its my girlfriend!, not boyfriend Lol. =p

Sorry

I'm intelligent most of the time honest, the heat in Italy at the moment is frying my brains - that's my excuse anyways :smile:

Reply 197

蘋果

9

22KT22

sorry i didnt see the gender thing next to your name :redface:

is there no way you can meet halfway and stay in a hotel for a week, get some time alone and more time than you want? wouldnt be as expensive and would be something you guys could look forward too. do you have any idea when you're not seeing each other? planning the next trip is kind of the light at the end of the tunnel and makes the pain of not seeing each other more bareable. have you tried skype? if not its free and would save you a lot of money, if youve already got it ignore this sentance!

Hehe, its kay.^^

And no we cant meet halfway at hotel, since her parents wont let her travel far by herself (though they do allow me to stay over at theirs). The only way we've met so far is because my parent was willing to drive me down for the first few times. And then I took the plane by myself.
But what drives me crazy is that we end up talking on the phone so so much, we either run out of things to say, or waste the whole day on the phone.
We use webcam/msn from time to time but it doesnt really ease the pain of so far apart.