im lesbian, my best friend is muslim and i feel bad

we are both 15/16 and first off I AM NOT ATTRACTED TO HER. I heard muslims shouldnt be around gay people so i feel really bad about myself. we love each other a lot and she is also very open (she is 100% straight btw) and sometimes makes jokes like ‘she is so hot’ and she isnt grossed out by me or homophobic at all. she doesnt seem to care in the slightest but i feel really down that she may be hiding her true feelings that im evil and am a bad influence? or something

Reply 1

Sorcerer's Storm

20

If she truly thinks you're evil and a bad influence purely because of your sexuality then you're better off without her tbh.

Reply 2

sapphireA

OP

11

Original post by Son of the Sea

If she truly thinks you're evil and a bad influence purely because of your sexuality then you're better off without her tbh.

no no nooo she had NEVER acted like that or mentioned anything but i know many who are muslim are against it so i dont want to make her go against her religion

Reply 3

Sorcerer's Storm

20

Original post by sapphireA

no no nooo she had NEVER acted like that or mentioned anything but i know many who are muslim are against it so i dont want to make her go against her religion

Being against it doesn't mean they can't be friends with gay people...

Reply 4

xox416

14

Original post by sapphireA

no no nooo she had NEVER acted like that or mentioned anything but i know many who are muslim are against it so i dont want to make her go against her religion

She can make that choice for herself.

If she has been a good friend to you, stop looking for problems.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by sapphireA

I heard muslims shouldnt be around gay people so i feel really bad about myself.

Where is this coming from? I don't see how that would make sense if it were true. Everyone has different beliefs, many of which contradict Islam - does that mean all Muslims should stay away from people eating pork? Your friend should be respecting you for who you are, because after all, your sexual attraction to the same sex is of no choice. She may be very naive to the idea if she is someone from a religion which restricts homosexual love so perhaps be prepared for a conversation about that. If she doesn't respect you and reacts negatively then clearly it will show your friends true colours.

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

I wouldn’t really worry there. I’m sort of in a similar boat in terms of my sexuality identity and a friends opposing religion but nothing has ever impacted our 12 years of friendship. If you’re feeling this way try talk to her? I’m sure she’ll set the story straight for you. I’m sure everything will work out :smile:

Reply 7

sapphireA

OP

11

Original post by xox416

She can make that choice for herself.

If she has been a good friend to you, stop looking for problems.

chill out im just asking

Reply 8

sapphireA

OP

11

Original post by Anonymous

I wouldn’t really worry there. I’m sort of in a similar boat in terms of my sexuality identity and a friends opposing religion but nothing has ever impacted our 12 years of friendship. If you’re feeling this way try talk to her? I’m sure she’ll set the story straight for you. I’m sure everything will work out :smile:

thank you sm! i think ive overreacted but its just bc i saw a post from someone saying they are muslim and hate their friend

Reply 9

londonmyst

19

There is nothing for either of you to feel bad about. :smile:

Enjoy the friendship.
Hopefully it will continue for decades into your adult lives!

My best friend is a follower of the liberal islamic sect led by the aga khan, we have been best friends since we met at nursery aged 3.
People choose their own friends, ambitions, beliefs and personal priorities.
Many people choose friends based on their positive personal qualities and similar interests.
Often things like religion and sexual orientation are irrelevant to the friendship.

Your attraction dealbreakers and social life are nobody else's business but yours.
Don't allow anyone to make you feel inferior or tell you are not allowed to have friends because of your sexual attraction dealbreakers.
If some vicious person tries to attack you for being a gay girl or uses any religion as a way of trying to bully you into dating guys- they are the one with the problem not you.
Most of the people in the world are normally behaved and have no time for causing trouble for random strangers or acting like creeps.
Unfortunately there will always be a bad apple few that are aggressive, criminal, foul mouthed, overbearing, very noisy troublemakers brimming with hate and venom.
These types are not worth any of your time or energy- don't give them any.
The police, judges and prison service will deal with them.

Reply 10

sapphireA

OP

11

Original post by londonmyst

There is nothing for either of you to feel bad about. :smile:

Enjoy the friendship.
Hopefully it will continue for decades into your adult lives!

My best friend is a follower of the liberal islamic sect led by the aga khan, we have been best friends since we met at nursery aged 3.
People choose their own friends, ambitions, beliefs and personal priorities.
Many people choose friends based on their positive personal qualities and similar interests.
Often things like religion and sexual orientation are irrelevant to the friendship.

Your attraction dealbreakers and social life are nobody else's business but yours.
Don't allow anyone to make you feel inferior or tell you are not allowed to have friends because of your sexual attraction dealbreakers.
If some vicious person tries to attack you for being a gay girl or uses any religion as a way of trying to bully you into dating guys- they are the one with the problem not you.
Most of the people in the world are normally behaved and have no time for causing trouble for random strangers or acting like creeps.
Unfortunately there will always be a bad apple few that are aggressive, criminal, foul mouthed, overbearing, very noisy troublemakers brimming with hate and venom.
These types are not worth any of your time or energy- don't give them any.
The police, judges and prison service will deal with them.

thank you so much your words are beautiful

Reply 11

username6107595

2

Original post by sapphireA

we are both 15/16 and first off I AM NOT ATTRACTED TO HER. I heard muslims shouldnt be around gay people so i feel really bad about myself. we love each other a lot and she is also very open (she is 100% straight btw) and sometimes makes jokes like ‘she is so hot’ and she isnt grossed out by me or homophobic at all. she doesnt seem to care in the slightest but i feel really down that she may be hiding her true feelings that im evil and am a bad influence? or something

ur not a bad influence just dont pressure her into doing acts that include anything to do with the LGBTQ+ (for example parades)

Reply 12

Charlotte__B

3

Original post by sapphireA

we are both 15/16 and first off I AM NOT ATTRACTED TO HER. I heard muslims shouldnt be around gay people so i feel really bad about myself. we love each other a lot and she is also very open (she is 100% straight btw) and sometimes makes jokes like ‘she is so hot’ and she isnt grossed out by me or homophobic at all. she doesnt seem to care in the slightest but i feel really down that she may be hiding her true feelings that im evil and am a bad influence? or something

I'd say definitely just ask her, I'm sure she'll have formed an opinion on the lgbt community considering how common it is in pop culture and the news currently. If she turns out to be homophobic/unsupportive personally I'd have to think about whether or not I wanted to continue the friendship. That's your decision though. Good luck!

Reply 13

Anonymous #3

Why you feel bad? Because your best friend doesn’t know your sexual orientation? She may be understanding and supportive or maybe not , so protect yourself your anonymity, I am a bisexual crossdresser and most of people judge, gossip and use my private life against me . Be careful and ask support from LGBT organisation.

Reply 14

Anonymous #4

Original post by sapphireA

we are both 15/16 and first off I AM NOT ATTRACTED TO HER. I heard muslims shouldnt be around gay people so i feel really bad about myself. we love each other a lot and she is also very open (she is 100% straight btw) and sometimes makes jokes like ‘she is so hot’ and she isnt grossed out by me or homophobic at all. she doesnt seem to care in the slightest but i feel really down that she may be hiding her true feelings that im evil and am a bad influence? or something

I'm a muslim and islam does not promote thinking that anyone is 'evil' dw. I won't get into too much detail but you know how muslims believe that alcohol is forbidden? It says in one of our scriptures that even if someone has alcohol poured all over their face/clothes, you must not assume that they've been drinking alcohol, you must assume the best of him; i.e that someone's thrown alcohol on him or something. anyways, what i'm trying to get at is that even though you're a lesbian, you are not evil :smile:

pls don't feel bad about yourself.

btw just because islam doesnt support the actions of the lgbt does NOT mean that we are allowed to be homophobic, hating on anyone is completely not condoned. we believe that you're allowed to have lgbt feelings but you are not allowed to act upon them (obv doesn't apply to you as you're not muslim but just saying for educational reasons :smile:

not many people know this!!)

everything aside, if she really thought you were evil and a bad influence, i don't think she'd be friends with you so i think you're good, again pls dont feel bad!! if she goes against her religion, it's on her and not you!!

i'm here if you have any questions x

im lesbian, my best friend is muslim and i feel bad

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