The Student Room Group

Long distance relationship at uni

Hey, me and my boyfriend will be doing long distance in September as I am moving away for university and he will be staying at home. I would appreciate if anyone has any tips as I’m really worried it isn’t going to work.
Reply 1
There are many factors to take into consideration when looking at long distance relationships.

- How far away are you two going to be?
- Do you two trust each other (Should be no brainer answer)
- Do you two are going to make it work when it comes to meeting each other etc.

My GF lives about 83ish miles away from me (1h 30min car drive for me) and it's working perfectly fine.
Hey, I’m Scarlet, I’ve been at university for three years now and I have remained in a long-distance relationship for the three years. Long distance relationships can be very difficult, and there will be times when you feel sad and lonely, but this is normal, if you both want to make it work then it is definitely possible.

I know it’s easier said than done but try not to worry about it yet, just see how it goes and making time for each other is the most important thing. Me and my partner try and see each other at least every 6-8 weeks, but I know this may not always possible due to practicality and finances. I recommend using the MegaBus as I have found this to be the cheapest way to travel by bus, and I also use ticket splitter for cheaper train routes. Of course using a rail card as well makes the train tickets considerably cheaper. This way you may be able to afford to see each other more often, if you're saving money on travel.

Also try and make use of facetiming and messaging often to keep each other up to date with your lives. I really do think that’s the most important thing when trying to make your relationship work with the distance, as you want to still feel present in each other’s lives.

I was super worried about how much I would miss my partner but to be honest, while I’m at university I find it quite nice, as I get to spend a lot of time in my own company (which I never done before) and I find myself with friends and housemates a lot of the time so it isn’t as lonely as I thought it was going to be initially.

Also, the three years at university has flown by for me, and it really hasn't been as hard to maintain my relationship as I anticipated, providing you are both happy and you both want to make it work.

If it doesn’t work out for you both then being at university is a great time to find yourself and meet other people, so try not to worry until you’re there, and even then, it isn’t the be all and end all! Its good you’re making the step of moving away, for yourself!

Good luck, I hope it works out for you both.


Scarlet - Sheffield Hallam Student Ambassedor
Reply 3
First thing to address is why you think it won't work!

Take at least the first couple of weekends to get settled in, and don't go dashing off to see your boyfriend too often. Make sure you enjoy the activities on offer at uni and in the local area, and that includes during the evenings, too. Don't graduate with regrets that you didn't make the most of the opportunities available.

Get your boyfriend to visit and then he can see what it is you're talking about in future conversations. Introduce him to people, show him around. Hopefully he's supportive of your decision and has known for some time that this is important to you.

Communication is key. Message, talk, do things together over Facetime. However, as above, don't put things off to sit around waiting for a call. And ask your boyfriend to be patient if you are occupied or busy with coursework and revision and have to rearrange something; likewise if you contact him and he is busy.

It's 3 years and it's perfectly doable. Met my boyfriend through the military and had a year when we didn't see each other because of deployments; still in an LDR/LTR with him.
There will be the problem of all your new friends at Uni going out and having fun with guys, no matter how much you love him you’ll at least be somewhat jealous of the fun they’re having. I went to Uni 150 miles away from my School bf and we both ended up cheating within a few weeks.
Reply 5
From what I saw going to uni puts a lot of strain on a relationship. It seems to be about a first/early partner not being the one your ultimately going to end up with and the uni transition bringing this in to focus. A friend came to uni with his 6th form gf and that rapidly descended in to disaster too

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