The Student Room Group

my favourite teacher is leaving this July, any advice?

since i got her at the start of year 11 (i’m in year 12 now) i’ve felt really comfortable around this teacher and she stopped teaching me science when i took essay subjects for my a levels but we end up hanging out during my study periods or after school about three times a week, i tell her almost everything and she knows a lot about me and i think i know a fair bit about her. i can’t help opening up to her sometimes, she’s just really safe and supportive and the only word i can use to associate with her is comfortable tbh. she knows i’m really attached to her (i’ve said as much) and even if i hadn’t said it’s really obvious, lots of people say i have a crush on her or something and it’s not really that, she just makes me feel really happy and it’s so nice having somewhere at school where i feel like i can be fully myself because nothing ever changes in her office and we have a nice pattern of ranting and chatting. she told me near the end of March that she’s getting a new job at a different school in September and i cried a lot (which isn’t anything new, she’s seen me cry loads i think i’m just a very emotional person) but yeah i haven’t been taking it well. i keep thinking of some new teacher coming in and using her room and it’s really overwhelming thinking of being stuck at school with no escape any more. i’m not sure she realises how much she’s helped me, or if she does, she might be trying to be more distant because it’ll help me in the long run when i eventually don’t see her again, but yeah i really hate change and she’s the one thing that’s stayed the same since year 11 and it’s very overwhelming. i also get really frustrated because it’s not fair i have a stupid attachment to a teacher who probably thinks i’m really annoying and who has loads of other students go look after, but i can’t help how i feel i just wish i’d get attached to someone my own age who’d be as equally intense idk. i also hate how people keep being like “she’s just a teacher” because i’m allowed to miss whoever i want, like it’s difficult thinking i’m never going to see someone i like again in four months. i’d just like some tips on how to deal with this i guess? and i’m too shy to ask her to keep in contact when she leaves because she doesn’t like texting so 1) she’d probably say no (and that’d be so depressing) and 2) she’s going to have hundreds more students to look after at her new school so she doesn’t need to be burdened with some random from her old school. sorry this is so long haha : , )
Reply 1
Understanding your feelings for someone else is so difficult when you are right in the middle of it. You have found someone you have felt a real bond with. That is a good thing to have and with a tutor. It means you will listen and absorb the knowledge that they wants to impart to you. For the months that this has been, I am sure it has been wonderful. But teaching is transient and teachers can and do move on. Teaching has a beginning and an end, always.
The teaching relationship has to be a professional one, it too has a beginning and an end. So how do you cope with the feelings of being abandoned?

Hold onto all the amazing qualities that your teacher had and imparted. Consider why they were so important to you? What have you learned from the short time you knew her? What have you learned about yourself? You will never lose what you have experienced, but you can grow and gain more experiences just like those as you go forward in life. This is just the beginning of your life relationship portfolio. Sometimes teachers can shine a light on the very things we have never had or experienced and that is a wonderful moment when we find them. It is like being released. You might think you will never ever find someone like her ever again. Oh yes you will. Sometimes it can be when you least expect it. Someone really important can appear in the right here, right now at any moment in our lives. Understanding that some relationships have to have boundaries and all of our relationships have an eventual end. That is part of the learning process in life. Of coping with love and loss. We never own anyone we merely have the privilege of sharing a beautiful mind.

Teachers have one of the hardest jobs in the world. They have to maintain professional boundaries for their own safety (and for yours too) Your teacher will be aware that you are very emotionally attached to her, but also aware that she has the capacity to be able to reach out to you and teach you well. She will have been very careful to keep you safe by making sure she maintains her professional role. She will not be able to stay in touch with you when she leaves. Your personal connection with her will have an end when she leaves. Believe that after she has left you, that your teacher (this shining star) will continue to impart her love of teaching and patience on other souls. Others who will no doubt benefit from her love of teaching just like you. Use what you have learnt wisely.

Life will seem very dull for a while, but you have had the honour and the privilege to have spent time with her. Hold that close and now take what she taught you and run with it - which is what you would have done if she had never left. Believe in yourself and to know that you can succeed. That is your teacher's legacy and yours to know and take forward in your life. This time in your life is just the start of finding and exploring more interesting relationships, some will be good ones, and some bad. Hold onto the laughter, and grow the wrinkles around your eyes.
(edited 1 year ago)
Original post by Muttly
Understanding your feelings for someone else is so difficult when you are right in the middle of it. You have found someone you have felt a real bond with. That is a good thing to have and with a tutor. It means you will listen and absorb the knowledge that they wants to impart to you. For the months that this has been, I am sure it has been wonderful. But teaching is transient and teachers can and do move on. Teaching has a beginning and an end, always.
The teaching relationship has to be a professional one, it too has a beginning and an end. So how do you cope with the feelings of being abandoned?

Hold onto all the amazing qualities that your teacher had and imparted. Consider why they were so important to you? What have you learned from the short time you knew her? What have you learned about yourself? You will never lose what you have experienced, but you can grow and gain more experiences just like those as you go forward in life. This is just the beginning of your life relationship portfolio. Sometimes teachers can shine a light on the very things we have never had or experienced and that is a wonderful moment when we find them. It is like being released. You might think you will never ever find someone like her ever again. Oh yes you will. Sometimes it can be when you least expect it. Someone really important can appear in the right here, right now at any moment in our lives. Understanding that some relationships have to have boundaries and all of our relationships have an eventual end. That is part of the learning process in life. Of coping with love and loss. We never own anyone we merely have the privilege of sharing a beautiful mind.

Teachers have one of the hardest jobs in the world. They have to maintain professional boundaries for their own safety (and for yours too) Your teacher will be aware that you are very emotionally attached to her, but also aware that she has the capacity to be able to reach out to you and teach you well. She will have been very careful to keep you safe by making sure she maintains her professional role. She will not be able to stay in touch with you when she leaves. Your personal connection with her will have an end when she leaves. Believe that after she has left you, that your teacher (this shining star) will continue to impart her love of teaching and patience on other souls. Others who will no doubt benefit from her love of teaching just like you. Use what you have learnt wisely.

Life will seem very dull for a while, but you have had the honour and the privilege to have spent time with her. Hold that close and now take what she taught you and run with it - which is what you would have done if she had never left. Believe in yourself and to know that you can succeed. That is your teacher's legacy and yours to know and take forward in your life. This time in your life is just the start of finding and exploring more interesting relationships, some will be good ones, and some bad. Hold onto the laughter, and grow the wrinkles around your eyes.

this is one of the sweetest things i've ever read, thank u so much < 3

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