Parents are upset I've not found a bf and had a baby yet at 19
My parents have told me I am a disappointment because I haven't found a guy to start a family with yet. My parents are both on benefits and have not done a day's work. My sister who is not even 17 yet has just got engaged and announced she's pregnant despite only knowing the guy a few months and my parents have said they are over the moon. I've gone to uni as I want to make something of my life but my parents have never showed me support, why are they belittling my life choice?
Original post by Anonymous
My parents have told me I am a disappointment because I haven't found a guy to start a family with yet. My parents are both on benefits and have not done a day's work. My sister who is not even 17 yet has just got engaged and announced she's pregnant despite only knowing the guy a few months and my parents have said they are over the moon. I've gone to uni as I want to make something of my life but my parents have never showed me support, why are they belittling my life choice?
Your parents sound stupid, dont listen to them and go to uni. Having a kid at that age is the dumbest thing to do in this economic climate, unless you are financially independent its never worth it, also getting engaged with someone who you just met is a recipe for disaster. I would advic you go to university, get a degree, which will set you up for the future, going forwards you will have a stable job, and only then would I advice looking for a life long partner to have a baby with. May I ask, what you plan to do at uni?
Original post by Anonymous
My parents have told me I am a disappointment because I haven't found a guy to start a family with yet. My parents are both on benefits and have not done a day's work. My sister who is not even 17 yet has just got engaged and announced she's pregnant despite only knowing the guy a few months and my parents have said they are over the moon. I've gone to uni as I want to make something of my life but my parents have never showed me support, why are they belittling my life choice?
I definitely relate to some of what you're saying. Both of my parents are also on full-time benefits and never done a job their entire life, yet love to **** on me by calling me a failure, useless, ******ed, psychopath etc. even when I'm actually studying and trying to get a degree + experience when I can.
Don't allow them to trap you with this because many people kill themselves mentally or physically due to the regret of having children. That's a decision you only make when you are financially stable & able to support yourself entirely without the rest of your family.
Continue with your degree and try to not be around them too much if you can by doing activities or even going to the library etc. If you let them trap you they'll ask you for money even when they're on benefits and your life will be miserable.
Please do yourself a favour and keep on growing your opportunities. Its not great for families members to oppose each other but I've learnt the hard way that bringing in conflict and breaking down family bonds is the only threat that'll cause messed up family members to shut up and not mess around with you.
Original post by Anonymous
My parents have told me I am a disappointment because I haven't found a guy to start a family with yet. My parents are both on benefits and have not done a day's work. My sister who is not even 17 yet has just got engaged and announced she's pregnant despite only knowing the guy a few months and my parents have said they are over the moon. I've gone to uni as I want to make something of my life but my parents have never showed me support, why are they belittling my life choice?
Can I just ask respectful of your age are your parents aware of the financial stability and what would be required in order to raise a baby even at your young late teens. Like accommodation wise, food and water expenses, clothing and utility bills to pay off. I’d focus at least nearing the completion of your degree or at the very least once found someone at least one of you has a clear path to where you both see yourself going towards the future before building it on from there.
(edited 12 months ago)
Original post by Anonymous
My parents have told me I am a disappointment because I haven't found a guy to start a family with yet. My parents are both on benefits and have not done a day's work. My sister who is not even 17 yet has just got engaged and announced she's pregnant despite only knowing the guy a few months and my parents have said they are over the moon. I've gone to uni as I want to make something of my life but my parents have never showed me support, why are they belittling my life choice?
Congratulations to your sister, I hope things work out for her. To be honest, your answer is already within your post. Your parents don't seem to have gone to uni and they are uninterested in a career of any kind, you going to university is a great thing; but in their eyes it's different and don't see the value of it - because they obviously don't work themselves. I'm sorry to hear that they haven't supported you, but honestly well done for working so hard. They're belittling your choice because it's something very very different to the life they've lead.
In regards to the boyfriend and baby thing, them calling you a disappointment is ridiculous, the parent are the ones truly being a disappointment for not supporting their intelligent daughter! You also have plenty of time for this, so there's no rush and rather they should appreciate that you're taking your own time with things so you can be your best self. Your parents are saying silly things and it's not even worth thinking about - I hope your situation improves.
Your parents want you and your sister to both adopt their lifestyle.
No desire to earn an honest living that pays the bills or obtain any employment, complete welfare dependency, unemployed women with no regular monthly earnings or much in savings choosing to have children that are fed & housed by the taxpayer funded welfare state and raising them to follow the very same lifestyle.
Put your own ambitions and health first.
Your parents & sister have just as much right to choose their own ambitions and lifestyles as you do.
Your parents may well reach retirement age and be eligible for a full state pension or disability benefits having never earned a penny or applied for any paid employment.
But it is very unlikely that your sister will be able to do so, regardless of how many children she will have or how entitled she feels to living off her partner's income and any welfare funds that she receives.
The eligibility requirements for the state pension have changed a lot since your parents started claiming welfare and it is likely that some new austerity measures will be introduced to restrict the numbers of short to medium term claimants entitled welfare support.
Most healthy welfare claimants without criminal records are required to apply for some paid employment in order to avoid losing some/all of their monthly welfare cash.
Don't allow the insults or unsolicited advice of any jobless jerk to discourage you from earning a living, studying and working towards building the happy future life that you want.
Good luck!
No desire to earn an honest living that pays the bills or obtain any employment, complete welfare dependency, unemployed women with no regular monthly earnings or much in savings choosing to have children that are fed & housed by the taxpayer funded welfare state and raising them to follow the very same lifestyle.
Put your own ambitions and health first.
Your parents & sister have just as much right to choose their own ambitions and lifestyles as you do.
Your parents may well reach retirement age and be eligible for a full state pension or disability benefits having never earned a penny or applied for any paid employment.
But it is very unlikely that your sister will be able to do so, regardless of how many children she will have or how entitled she feels to living off her partner's income and any welfare funds that she receives.
The eligibility requirements for the state pension have changed a lot since your parents started claiming welfare and it is likely that some new austerity measures will be introduced to restrict the numbers of short to medium term claimants entitled welfare support.
Most healthy welfare claimants without criminal records are required to apply for some paid employment in order to avoid losing some/all of their monthly welfare cash.
Don't allow the insults or unsolicited advice of any jobless jerk to discourage you from earning a living, studying and working towards building the happy future life that you want.
Good luck!
Original post by Mohammed_80
Can I just ask respectful of your age are your parents aware of the financial stability and what would be required in order to raise a baby even at your young late teens. Like accommodation wise, food and water expenses, clothing and utility bills to pay off. I’d focus at least nearing the completion of your degree or at the very least once found someone at least one of you has a clear path to where you both see yourself going towards the future before building it on from there.
I'm 19
Sounds like your sister has ruined her life by getting pregnant at 16 if I’m being honest. Good on you for wanting to go to uni to make something of your life!
Original post by Anonymous
I'm 19
So if I may ask where or how do you have the money I’m 22 what’s your point. It’s not seen till I complete my education which I have now thankfully, get a stable job with a well-paid income to prove my financial stability for me and my other half to have kids…
Original post by Mohammed_80
So if I may ask where or how do you have the money I’m 22 what’s your point. It’s not seen till I complete my education which I have now thankfully, get a stable job with a well-paid income to prove my financial stability for me and my other half to have kids…
I don't have the money to have kids that's the point but my parents are mad because I haven't settled down
Original post by Anonymous
I don't have the money to have kids that's the point but my parents are mad because I haven't settled down
Well it’s best advisable to tell your parents completing your education and obtaining your qualifications will help towards landing a job worthy of being known as a salary and not a wage before then maybe thinking of having children.
Original post by Anonymous
My parents have told me I am a disappointment because I haven't found a guy to start a family with yet. My parents are both on benefits and have not done a day's work. My sister who is not even 17 yet has just got engaged and announced she's pregnant despite only knowing the guy a few months and my parents have said they are over the moon. I've gone to uni as I want to make something of my life but my parents have never showed me support, why are they belittling my life choice?
Honestly ignore them- focus on your studies and keep doing what you're doing x
Dababy
Original post by Anonymous
Dababy
What
Original post by Anonymous
My parents have told me I am a disappointment because I haven't found a guy to start a family with yet. My parents are both on benefits and have not done a day's work. My sister who is not even 17 yet has just got engaged and announced she's pregnant despite only knowing the guy a few months and my parents have said they are over the moon. I've gone to uni as I want to make something of my life but my parents have never showed me support, why are they belittling my life choice?
NGL I wouldn't have a kid if you really don't want to, not even to please your parents. For both you and the child's sakes. Neither of you would end up very happy and there would end up being lots of pent up resentment between the two of you. Have children if you want to, when you're ready. F*** them. Sorry, but seriously, it's your life, not theirs.
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