hi, ok so i have a long and complicated thing but i will try to keep it as simple as possible sorry i just really need advice !! i didn’t really know what form to put this in sorry.
basically, i’m 16 and just left year 11 this year in june 2023 and i am currently not in full time education. i struggled really bad in secondary school, the only gcses i sat were maths, science, and history and i got 3, 43, 2 respectively. i had undiagnosed autism and didn’t get my official diagnosis untill after i’d already left, which is the main reason why i struggled so much because my teachers just refused to give me that extra help / support i needed and i didn’t know how to explain what i needed because i didn’t know what was “wrong” with me. i already had a diagnosis of social anxiety that i got in year 9, but even then they refused to give me any support with that too. i also moved out of my toxic and abusive household right after leaving year 11 and there were just so many things that i needed to adjust to and deal with that there was no way that i’d be able to start college / sixth form in the september.
it’s never been about me avoiding college because i’m “lazy” or anything like that like i genuinely do want to go but like i just don’t feel like i’d be able to handle it after what my secondary school experience was and i’m just so scared that it’s going to be the same that i am literally almost crying whilst writing this and thinking about it 😭 i’ve had a few interviews for apprenticeships but those are so scary as well and like i just feel so… useless? like i know that i’m 16 and i shouldn’t be like this but i dont know like i feel like things are moving too fast and i’m not ready for them but i want to push myself to do these things because i feel like i have to as it’s expected. does that even make sense lol??
basically i just get scared thinking about what my life will be like 5-10 years and i don’t want to be living on the dole i do actually want to be successful in life but because of my mental health i just can’t seem to.
anyway yeah, ive been looking at colleges near me and there’s a t level course in childcare / early years education that i’m thinking of applying for for september 2024. i want to become a senco i think, but i also don’t mind being like just a normal nursery nurse. just working with children in general tbh. i did do childcare for gcse it was like a technical award but i think my exam got disqualified because i didn’t have a result in my gcse results paper like the subject wasn’t even there. there’s an open evening in february 2024 that i might go to but idk i just feel so lost and like will they even accept me?? i barely have any gcses and obviously i will have had a year off and i don’t know im not even being dramatic when i say this but i feel like i have ruined my life already and am just gonna be a huge failure
please be nice xxx