What do you think about my boyfriend's attitude towards sex?

Before we had sex/were seeing eachother, he commented on how he thought sex was 'a really important part' of a relationship. But since we actually started having sex, I'm not always convinced he feels this way.

First of all, he would always initiate foreplay, but never actual sex (aside from the very first time we had it) - this happened repeatedly and when I told him how unwanted this was making me feel, he initiated the next time we were together. Apparently the reason he hadn't initiated before was because he didn't want to do anything I didn't feel comfortable with...but to an extent I felt the damage on my self esteem was done.

Then one night after ridiculous miscommuncation about me giving him a blowjob, we got into a fight and I finally ended up saying to him:

'What does sex mean to you in this relationship? - to which he replied -

'If sex didn't exist, I'd be happy just lying with you.'

I was horrified!

But I'm still worried about his 'if sex didn't exist...' comment. What do you think? Should I be worried?

Are you serious? I don't understand how you can be massively offended by that He's basically saying, sex isn't the be-all-and-end-all of a relationship, and if sex wasn't an option he'd still be happy to just be in your company.

I wouldn't be worried at all, he was just using a hypothetical example to show you that you mean to him more to him than just a partner he has sex with and how precious your intimate times are together, not just the intimicacy in sex. Take it as a compliment, he enjoys all aspects of your intimacy together.
While yes, feeling sexually wanted is nice sometimes, I don't think he meant to make you not feel like that, neither would he have meant that sex wasn't important to him, its just not the only thing he cares about in the relationship. It seems like he was just trying to show you that, he wasn't trying bring you down, far from it.

What do you think about my concerns/what I said below?

Are you serious? I don't understand how you can be massively offended by that He's basically saying, sex isn't the be-all-and-end-all of a relationship, and if sex wasn't an option he'd still be happy to just be in your company.

I think you're overreacting to a genuine bloke that doesn't want you for sex alone. You should value the respect he has for you.

This> You should be FLATTERED! It shows he wants you for you and not sex!

Well, about the oral sex comment, if he's less experienced than you he might not be 100% confident sexually, so the 'well it can't be the most pleasant thing to do...' comment could just be concern that you were just doing it to please him all the time, because he doesn't understand how it can be enjoyable, after all he may have heard some girls complain about it before. I mean I like oral, its fun but there are some girls who dislike it too, so he might be making the comment based on what he's heard and what he thinks giving a guy oral would be like. He might feel guilty in that case, thinking its not enjoyable for you, but you still give it to him even despite this.

Concerning him initiating sex, it could be a confidence thing in the bedroom, if your his first, then he still might not be 100% confident with initiating it? Or even maybe, he likes to mix it up, dosesn't want it to become routine, so that everytime you both get sexually intimate it doesn't always have to be sex, it can be other sexual acts too Also, it could be down to routine actually, if he's used to you initiating the actual act of sex most of the time, he'll probably be less likely to initiate it as its what he's comfortable with and out of habit.

Thanks for your reply. The problem is, I don't think he lives giving me oral much (so maybe that's partly where the comment stems from). Again, he hasn't said it but it's obvious he only does it out of obligation Past boyfriends have seemed keen to do it. I did say if he thought I was uncomfortable, I certainly wasn't. He said 'I'm not trying to insinuate that you're mad about giving blowjobs or anything...' - I don't know, it seems weird. So what if I am mad about giving them to him?! There's nothing shameful about it, and I don't want him thinking there is...

Yeah, he isn't very confident in the bedroom. Or his abilities.

'If sex didn't exist, I'd be happy just lying with you.'

I was horrified! Not what I wanted to hear.

Gosh, you sound so ungrateful! The guy told you that he values your relationship so much he doesn't care about sex! What, would you rather have a guy who was only with you for the goods?!