Should I marry him? Please can I have some advice?

x

If you have to ask, then it sounds like you've already made up your mind.

Also, you've never "dated" the guy... so why would you consider entering a legally binding relationship with someone when you have no actual relationship experience with them? :lolwut:

How do you know you'd be good together?
Have you lived together?
Do you know what it's like to live with someone who isn't family?
Any sexual experiences with him?

These things can make or break a relationship, let alone a marriage.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 21

Ebaysass

3

Original post by Rock Fan

The fact you are asking sounds like you have one or two doubts, I would wait a bit yet. Live life a bit more first.

I agree totally with this, speaking from experience my sister got married early and it didn't end well years down the line.

If you're both happy then whats the rush, slow it down and enjoy your time!!

ES x

Reply 22

MrsSheldonCooper

20

Original post by mariam687

he seems nice by the looks of it

i think you should accept the proposal :smile:

and plus, your mum wants you to
and mums know best :smile:

Total BS. Mothers can make mistakes too believe it or not.

I literally read the first line and stopped. You're 19 for God's sake finish your education and get a decent job. If he loves you, he'd be willing to support you through it. Anyway can you two not just be boyfriend or girlfriend? It seems like you barely know him and it seems odd he's proposed to you without knowing you romantically.

Don't say yes. Ask if you two can be bf and gf and if he says no then there's something very fishy about him.

(edited 7 years ago)

Say no

Original post by MrsSheldonCooper

Total BS. Mothers can make mistakes too believe it or not.

I literally read the first line and stopped. You're 19 for God's sake finish your education get a decent job. If he loves you. he'd be willing to support you through it. Anyway can you two not just be boyfriend or girlfriend? It seems like you barely know him and it seems odd he's proposed to you without knowing you romantically.

Don't say yes. Ask if you two can be bf and gf and if he says no then there's something very fishy about him.

I'm just giving my own advice, God..
I'm not forcing her to follow it.
why start a debate? she is only asking for help and guidance..
everyone gives different advice..

lmao

Reply 25

Retired_Messiah

21

Original post by Drunk Punx

Also, you've never "dated" the guy... so why would you consider entering a legally binding relationship with someone when you have no actual relationship experience with them? :lolwut:

Oh thank God, reading through the thread I was worried that I was the only one that had picked up on this.

OP do not marry somebody you've never dated what the hell

Original post by mariam687

I'm just giving my own advice, God..I'm not forcing her to follow it.why start a debate? she is only asking for help and guidance..everyone gives different advice..lmao

When you want to help somebody, telling them which advice is absolute trash is a good thing to be doing.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 26

Ned Stark

3

You got your whole life ahead of you, why get married so early?

Say yes

Okay, maybe say yes if you like, say no, date him first, whatever.

But, if you do say yes, make the engagement lo o o o n g a f . I'm talking, at least three years okay? okay. THEN see how it's like :yy:

Reply 29

Natasha1998

4

Spark is important . Also if you are financially indebted to him and then something goes wrong then you will feel vulnerable as you will have no qualifications to fall back on. And if you stay financially indebted for him for the rest of your life then you will end up resenting him as you will start to feel trapped.

Reply 30

harlowberry

OP

6

Original post by Ebaysass

I agree totally with this, speaking from experience my sister got married early and it didn't end well years down the line.

If you're both happy then whats the rush, slow it down and enjoy your time!!

ES x

How old was your sister when she got married? If you don't mind me asking.

Reply 31

DanteTheDoorKnob

5

Original post by Natasha1998

Spark is important . Also if you are financially indebted to him and then something goes wrong then you will feel vulnerable as you will have no qualifications to fall back on. And if you stay financially indebted for him for the rest of your life then you will end up resenting him as you will start to feel trapped.

That's why you ask for his money to get shopping but secretly use it to buy capital. Also make sure you get very close to his rich friends, so if you get divorced you can fall back on them. Obviously if you do get divorced sue him for everything.

Reply 32

username47781

20

Original post by Ebaysass

I agree totally with this, speaking from experience my sister got married early and it didn't end well years down the line.

If you're both happy then whats the rush, slow it down and enjoy your time!!

ES x

Yeah not saying it don't work but so many people who married young have said to me how they wish they had waited and had a life first.

Reply 33

Thomb

14

You didn't mention LOVE :heart:

not even once. How can you marry someone who has never told you he loves you that you haven't said you love?

:love:

I just don't see it.

Reply 34

Akarim11

21

Doesn't sound like you know a lot about him, I dont think you should say yes from what I have read..

Reply 35

DanteTheDoorKnob

5

Original post by Thomb

You didn't mention LOVE :heart:

not even once. How can you marry someone who has never told you he loves you that you haven't said you love?

:love:

I just don't see it.

I saw the word love a few times

Original post by harlowberry

This is long but I really need some help.I'm 19 years old and the man who has asked me to marry him is 29. I have 3 sisters (I'm second youngest) and we come from a wealthy(ish) family. My dad was a lawyer who was wealthy whereas my mum's a school teacher. When I was 16 years old my parents threw a dinner party and their friend brought his son(he was 26 at the time)and they're also a wealthy family. The son is very tall and good-looking but he's very mysterious which makes him quite attractive.We'd just have small talk.6 months after this my dad passed away.I had no one to talk to until I went to my dad's funeral where I saw the son again. He talked to me and made sure that I was okay and he tried to cheer me up,reassure me and take me on walks. My mum could see this,so she invited him and his family over weekly for dinner.I'm a ballet dancer and as most of the money came from our dad, by the time I was 17 we couldn't pay for my classes.He offered to pay them for me (I said no) but he just gave my family the money.We always used to talk by the rose bush in my garden and then one day he kissed me.We never dated;he'd always protect me and look after me.sometimes when I see him I get scared he'll take advantage of me-he wouldn't, but he's so secretive.3 days ago at dinner,he proposed to me.I just said"give me time to think."Mum keeps on pestering me to say yes and my friends too! They think I should marry him (because he's rich) but I don't want to marry because of that!Do you think I should marry him based on what I've told you?Thank you

Reply 36

CherryKnot

13

Original post by harlowberry

This is long but I really need some help.I'm 19 years old and the man who has asked me to marry him is 29. I have 3 sisters (I'm second youngest) and we come from a wealthy(ish) family. My dad was a lawyer who was wealthy whereas my mum's a school teacher. When I was 16 years old my parents threw a dinner party and their friend brought his son(he was 26 at the time)and they're also a wealthy family. The son is very tall and good-looking but he's very mysterious which makes him quite attractive.We'd just have small talk.6 months after this my dad passed away.I had no one to talk to until I went to my dad's funeral where I saw the son again. He talked to me and made sure that I was okay and he tried to cheer me up,reassure me and take me on walks. My mum could see this,so she invited him and his family over weekly for dinner.I'm a ballet dancer and as most of the money came from our dad, by the time I was 17 we couldn't pay for my classes.He offered to pay them for me (I said no) but he just gave my family the money.We always used to talk by the rose bush in my garden and then one day he kissed me.We never dated;he'd always protect me and look after me.sometimes when I see him I get scared he'll take advantage of me-he wouldn't, but he's so secretive.3 days ago at dinner,he proposed to me.I just said"give me time to think."Mum keeps on pestering me to say yes and my friends too! They think I should marry him (because he's rich) but I don't want to marry because of that!Do you think I should marry him based on what I've told you?Thank you

Do you love him? Do you have any feelings for him that even remotely resemble love?

No. Then don't marry him. Marriage is about love and if you guys don't have that, what is the basis of your marriage? Will you be able to live with this guy for the rest of your life? Think about it, don't pressurise yourself into marriage when your still a teenager. You have so much to explore before you bound yourself in a marriage, that so a loveless one.

Reply 37

999tigger

19

Original post by harlowberry

This is long but I really need some help.I'm 19 years old and the man who has asked me to marry him is 29. I have 3 sisters (I'm second youngest) and we come from a wealthy(ish) family. My dad was a lawyer who was wealthy whereas my mum's a school teacher. When I was 16 years old my parents threw a dinner party and their friend brought his son(he was 26 at the time)and they're also a wealthy family. The son is very tall and good-looking but he's very mysterious which makes him quite attractive.We'd just have small talk.6 months after this my dad passed away.I had no one to talk to until I went to my dad's funeral where I saw the son again. He talked to me and made sure that I was okay and he tried to cheer me up,reassure me and take me on walks. My mum could see this,so she invited him and his family over weekly for dinner.I'm a ballet dancer and as most of the money came from our dad, by the time I was 17 we couldn't pay for my classes.He offered to pay them for me (I said no) but he just gave my family the money.We always used to talk by the rose bush in my garden and then one day he kissed me.We never dated;he'd always protect me and look after me.sometimes when I see him I get scared he'll take advantage of me-he wouldn't, but he's so secretive.3 days ago at dinner,he proposed to me.I just said"give me time to think."Mum keeps on pestering me to say yes and my friends too! They think I should marry him (because he's rich) but I don't want to marry because of that!Do you think I should marry him based on what I've told you?Thank you

Imo its a no, or at least a not yet.

1. You don't know who you are yet. You need to experience life more and get some independence. Find out what you like and dont like as well as what you stand for.

2. You dont know this person yet. He seems to have been kind and looked out for you, but you dont know him and that means you should be cautious. He seems to have a big advantage because he is rich. He should know at his age that you are still young, but instead of dating or waiting he has goen straight for marriage? is that soemthing to do with your culture?

3. You are asking and you are unsue. Dont make a commitment until you know its in your interest. If he likes you he will wait. Why not live your life a little before settling down.

Reply 38

LewisClothier

6

Original post by harlowberry

This is long but I really need some help.I'm 19 years old and the man who has asked me to marry him is 29. I have 3 sisters (I'm second youngest) and we come from a wealthy(ish) family. My dad was a lawyer who was wealthy whereas my mum's a school teacher. When I was 16 years old my parents threw a dinner party and their friend brought his son(he was 26 at the time)and they're also a wealthy family. The son is very tall and good-looking but he's very mysterious which makes him quite attractive.We'd just have small talk.6 months after this my dad passed away.I had no one to talk to until I went to my dad's funeral where I saw the son again. He talked to me and made sure that I was okay and he tried to cheer me up,reassure me and take me on walks. My mum could see this,so she invited him and his family over weekly for dinner.I'm a ballet dancer and as most of the money came from our dad, by the time I was 17 we couldn't pay for my classes.He offered to pay them for me (I said no) but he just gave my family the money.We always used to talk by the rose bush in my garden and then one day he kissed me.We never dated;he'd always protect me and look after me.sometimes when I see him I get scared he'll take advantage of me-he wouldn't, but he's so secretive.3 days ago at dinner,he proposed to me.I just said"give me time to think."Mum keeps on pestering me to say yes and my friends too! They think I should marry him (because he's rich) but I don't want to marry because of that!Do you think I should marry him based on what I've told you?Thank you

Honestly, this decision is up to you, no one on this site will be able to help you properly, talk it through with the guy, after all... you'll have to do a lot of talking like this if you decide to go through with it. Good luck! :biggrin:

Reply 39

aviellatar

6

The fact that you are having doubts and asking other people if you should marry him, shows you aren't certain about your relationship with him. At the end of the day if you feel you are mature enough and ready to have a lifelong commitment with this guy, then go ahead.

Should I marry him? Please can I have some advice?

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you