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To those who have been dumped and left completely heartbroken...

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Reply 60

Drunk Punx

Original post by Rossshaw

Woman? You what?

You heard

Seriously, I have NEVER heard a bloke say "I can flirt with anyone I want" or whatever it was you said. It's such a womanly thing to say.

Reply 61

Rossshaw

Original post by Drunk Punx

You heard

Seriously, I have NEVER heard a bloke say "I can flirt with anyone I want" or whatever it was you said. It's such a womanly thing to say.

I can flirt with anyone I want :lol:

What do you want me to call it? :lol:

Reply 62

Drunk Punx

Original post by Rossshaw

I can flirt with anyone I want :lol:

What do you want me to call it? :lol:

*shrugs*

"Flirt" has always seemed a very feminine word to me. Might be because I don't flirt, I converse :tongue:

Reply 63

Rossshaw

Original post by Drunk Punx

*shrugs*

"Flirt" has always seemed a very feminine word to me. Might be because I don't flirt, I converse :tongue:

Haha, ah fair enough!

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 64

marille

Original post by philistine

Due to the catastrophic betrayal and insult to injury my last girlfriend imposed on me, I fell out of love with her instantly. She was however, still in my head for the coming months afterwards, to the point of where I couldn't sleep a wink.

Seven months on now, she's still in my head. For all the wrong reasons. I suppose that's what happens when you're madly in love with someone for three years, then suddenly they emotionally cripple and betray you.

I've found transforming heartbreak into anger helps alleviate the blues. Though, if your break up was mutual or your fault, then that obviously isn't feasible.

This. So much. Rationally I fell out of love with my ex very quickly, because he did some horrid things to me, but it's been more than two months now and emotionally I feel sometimes like I've hardly got anywhere. He still pops into my head all the time - first thing in the morning, last thing at night, whenever I'm doing something I would have liked to share with him - although recently I've been trying to learn how to say "no" to myself and try to move on. I think that's natural, though, when you've been with someone a really long time. I spent almost five years of my life in constant contact with him, so it's going to be a while for my habits to catch up with how my life is now.

Anger really does help, though. Every time I'm tempted to think fondly of my ex, I remind myself of all the terrible things he did, and that tends to work pretty well. It's important, though, to be able to start letting go of those feelings when the time comes. Not being able to dwell on him is allowing me to move on in lots of ways - I'm happy a lot of the time, it doesn't feel so weird being alone, and I'm starting to be able to envisage getting into a relationship with someone else. All of those are things I never thought I'd say two months ago, and I'm sure things will keep on getting better. Friends make it a lot easier, too - ones you can talk to about what you're going through, sure, but also ones who can just remind you that life goes on and you can still be happy. I spent all of last night giggling over films with a couple of people, and that sort of thing does a lot of good.

Healing isn't going to happen quickly, but I know this is making me so much stronger. And I love looking back and seeing how I'm growing. : )

Reply 65

w04andia

It's a damn shame how many of us are carrying heartbreak around with us constantly.
Like an emotional scar.

Reply 66

username345307

First 6 weeks were the worst especially since he got a girlfriend 2 weeks later and put her on facebook, now it's been 3 months and he's practically gone. Found out last week he'd been cheating on me so now it's flared up again though. I've made him sound like a disease :tongue:

I've gone back to the anger stage now, if I saw him I'd want to have a go at him for being spineless and slap him. not good :/

Reply 67

fishfacesimpson

We've all been there.

----------

I took each word she said as gospel truth the way a silly little child would.
I can't excuse it on the grounds of youth,
I was no babe in the wild, wild wood.
She didn't mean it,
I should have seen it,
but now it's too late.

I thought I'd found the girl of my dreams,
now it seems,
this is how the story ends:
She's gonna turn me down and say,
"Can't we be friends?"
I thought for once it couldn't go wrong,
not for long,
I can see the way this ends:
She's gonna turn me down and say,
"Can't we be friends?"
Why should I care though she gave me the air,
Why should I cry,
heave a sigh,
and wonder why,
and wonder why?
I thought I found the gal I could trust,
watta bust, this is how the story ends:
She's gonna turn me down and say,
"Can't we be just friends?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAJLxXtip-M

Reply 68

Chrisfox2k12

Broke up with my gf a about 12 weeks still feel so much I love with her. We broke up cause of a drubken kiss witch I regert about. We got along great so I ant see why she won't comeback

Reply 69

Ham22

8 years and counting.

Reply 70

Anonymous #11

Original post by Anonymous

...how long did it take you to get over that person? I don't mean just any break up, I mean the kind where you are still absolutely in love with that person and would do anything to get them back, but they don't want to know.

3 years

3.5 years

Broke up with her 18 months ago now. We became friends about 6 months later but had a massive argument and don't even speak. It's heartbreaking, because even though I'm not in love with her I do love her. It's comforting to know I'm not the only one though, in fact some of your stories really put mine in perspective.

Reply 73

redferry

Original post by Anonymous

2 year relationship, 2 year recovery period. although that included 10 months of getting together with varying frequency

In all honesty though, nearly 4 years later, the break-up still hurts me. I have no feelings for him, in fact I severely dislike him, but the fact someone you trust and care about so much could treat you like is scarring.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 74

EveandElla

I've been so lucky. I've only ever really loved one man. I met him at university and a friend become a lover became a husband and then became a Dad. But from what some of my very closest friends have said you might never entirely "get over" being dumped if "get over" means never wondering how things might have worked out differently. That dreadful "what if" feeling that pops into your head when you are least expecting it. Didi was dumped after a long distance relationship went sour after less than 2 weeks when her "I will love you forever" boyfriend was tempted and then fell. They tried to patch things up but couldn't. She still has feelings for him after 4(?) years!!

Reply 75

Anonymous #11

Original post by w04andia

It's a damn shame how many of us are carrying heartbreak around with us constantly.
Like an emotional scar.

If you were the one dumped. It is traumatic, because of the shock element.

Reply 76

username447608

I was over him as in not wanting him back after a year, im still hurt by the things he did but its not because I care for him anylonger just hurt that I got taken for a mug and angry at myself for letting him treat me like that.

It only took a year though as I kept in contact with him and as a result he kept me hanging on promising he'd get back with me that he still cared. If I had cut contact I think I would have been over him within a few months

Reply 77

Anonymous #13

I just recently HAD to break up with my bf of a year and 5 months. sucks big time, and i dont know how im gonna get over it because nothing was wrong with us, the reason we broke up was because our parents were very strict, religious wise, and regardless of us being the same religion we were different sects which meant us being together was no no. we knew we had no future together so we broke up... it hurts big time but over time i guess it'll get better! hang in there your not alone :smile:

lol14 x

Reply 78

consumed by stuff

i think the fact that things were not great for the last 8 months, riduculously bad for the last two months has made it easier, still early days though. We we're together for over 5 years, but i think i was more in love with the dream of what we planned to do have kids, grow old together etc

she broke up with me only one week ago officially but we might aswell been apart for the last two months. i deserrve to be treated better aand she brought the worst out in me. Think about her everyday, but she's not mine to love and protect anymore so i just try to not think about her.
part of me feels like i've failed but everyone i know has been soo caring, and like they all said i need to have a good look in the mirror and see what everyone else see's. she really ****ed my self belief up she really did and that will take a while. i just need to make some new friends or atleast fix the old ones i neglected while in the relationship. it is awkward making friends as you get older though.

Reply 79

JayDog

Been 18 months and I'm still not there... but then my girlfriend before that, I was with her almost 2 and a half years and got over her in about 4 months.