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Wondering whether I'm bi-curious, how to break to gf?

Hi,

I used to consider myself a straight male and I'm quite happy in my relationship with a female. However increasingly I have been having what I feel might be 'gay' thoughts.
Sometimes I've found myself looking at pictures of 'hot' men. I've noticed the idea of the penis doesn't turn me on but stuff like six-pack abs, a nice ass, rugged chiseled face, sometimes pecs etc. does (as in I will sometimes masturbate to six-packs and ting). I've never tried actual gay porn.

I'm still turned on by women and standard physical features like legs,boobs, ass, face but sometimes turned on by the sexy features of a man's body, especially when he is what I'd expect a woman to think is hot.

Similarly I quite like the idea of me working out and getting nice lean and toned muscles

I don't know whether it's because I want to be with him (gay/bi?) orI want to be him (thus be aesthetic, 'alpha'=get her drooling over me). Admiration to the point of masturbation? :s-smilie:

My (gay) friend said to me many years ago that he predicted I'd 'experiment' with my sexuality. At first I thought he was joking (we were what, 16?) but the more I think about it the more it becomes possible.
I am confused, can anybody suggest what's going on? I'm 20 and a virgin btw, I can't hav sex with my girlfriend due to cultural reasons

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Should edit title, do I even need to break to gf? I mean she knows that I want to go to the gym and get fit and I'm pretty sure she'll have understood the sexual implications of that too

Reply 2

Noxolia

Original post by Anonymous

Should edit title, do I even need to break to gf? I mean she knows that I want to go to the gym and get fit and I'm pretty sure she'll have understood the sexual implications of that too

I don't see why you need to 'break' anything to her, as long as you don't plan on experimenting whilst still in a relationship. If, should the relationship fail, you decide to try a relationship with a man, how does that harm your current relationship?

If you think you're leaning more towards liking men however, and are not sure you're attracted to her any more then you should most definitely talk things through with her.

Reply 3

Plantagenet Crown

I dont think you need to break anything to her yet, seeing as youre not having thought about breaking up with her or anything.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Does it sound like I'm bi-curious? Idek

Reply 5

Plantagenet Crown

Original post by Anonymous

Does it sound like I'm bi-curious? Idek

Kind of.

Reply 6

callsaul44

Honestly you should break it to her.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 7

squealia

You sound like you just want to experiment a bit, and there is nothing wrong with that. I dont think your gf needs to know, especially if you are not having sex. I wouldn't worry about it.

Reply 8

Treeroy

Original post by Anonymous

Does it sound like I'm bi-curious? Idek

Yes, definitely. Admiration doesn't usually mean you are turned on!

I don't see why your girlfriend would react badly. Scientists' estimates of the number of bisexuals in the population sometimes go up to 50-70%, so it's hardly uncommon.

Personally I would probably experiment with another guy, though since I don't have a clue what a non-sexual relationship would be like, I can't really say for sure what I'd do.

Reply 9

username1042689

It does sound like you're bicurious, and you can explore that at some point, it's quite common. :smile:

Whether you're bi or not is something only you can know. In the meantime, intuitively - I know you often feel an urge to tell people close to you what you're feeling in this regard, but how do you intuitively think she would take it?

Reply 10

GinaLaMalfaisant

There is nothing really special going on. You are figuring out you are having a little bisexual tendency and only you can decide if you wish to experience with a man or not.

If you still love your gf, there is no reason that you have to break anything.
And, likewise, only you can decide wether you wish to tell her about what you are experiencing. Know however that there is absolutely nothing wrong nor weird with you being bi-curious/bisexual.